


Alright

by turningthepages



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Anna is Mean, Caring Dean, Castiel Needs a Hug, Dean is a Good Friend, Dean is a Sweetheart, Falling In Love, Family Drama, First Dates, First Kiss, First Love, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Friendship, Half-Siblings, Holidays, Hugs, Lonely Castiel, M/M, Mistletoe, Mutual Pining, Naomi (Supernatural) Being an Asshole, Naomi is Castiel's Parent (Supernatural), Pining, Protective Dean Winchester, Sad Castiel, Slow Build, Slow Burn, Teenagers, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, chuck is a good dad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-23
Updated: 2018-11-25
Packaged: 2018-12-06 00:30:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 46,448
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11589315
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/turningthepages/pseuds/turningthepages
Summary: Dean is a good kid living in a good town surrounded by good friends and good family. Castiel is the new kid in town and has never truly had a friend before.Dean comes along and starts to change things for him.





	1. Chapter 1

The only black eye Sam had ever gotten was enough for Dean to insist on walking the kid home daily. After that, everyone around town knew better than to pick on Sam Winchester when the limping and bruised culprits of Sam’s attack came back to school the next day. Somehow in the blink of an eye, Dean had made himself a reputation around town as some sort of badass since no one ever thought about messing with Dean or any of those he cared about after that. 

Despite having known Dean almost all of his life, people wound up giving him a wide berth at school. Rumors had a way of making people think he could somehow flip a switch and go crazy just by getting the wrong look in the hallways. It was mostly amusing though, as Dean had never once been in a fight until then. Hell, he never even got in one after. 

Nope. Dean Winchester was actually a good kid. At least that’s what Mrs. Mosley told him every time he helped her unload her groceries on Sunday mornings. People who really knew him would probably agree with that too. He got good grades (mostly… biology just was not clicking for him), he had a tight ring of friends he’d known most of his life, he kissed his mama goodbye every day, and he made it his own personal mission to make sure his family was always okay. 

See, when Dean was ten, his daddy died on the job. It was a house fire. John was in a family’s nursery handing their baby through the second story window as the place was crumbling behind him. When he was about to get out, the load-bearing wall beneath the room finally gave out. They say he didn’t suffer much. Dean hopes that was true. Supposes he’ll never know. 

The kid John saved, Adam, sends them a post card every year on his birthday. He’s seven now. Says he wants to be a firefighter and save people like the one who saved his. Mary smiles when they get those cards; Dean just misses his dad. 

He’s been trying to fill John’s role ever since. His mom says he doesn’t need to, that he should just be a kid, but she works graveyard shifts at the hospital and somebody has to make sure Sam gets up for school and has a lunch and does his homework when he gets home. And even though Sam insists that he doesn’t need a ‘body guard’ Dean still walks him home from school to make sure no one tries to mess with his kid brother again. 

So that’s where Dean was, waiting on a bench in front of the school, looking down at his watch as he waited for Sam to get out of his nerdy as all hell speech and debate club. 

He looked up when he saw someone come out of the school and recognized him immediately as the new kid. The new guy had shown up about a week before in slacks and a button up shirt that told Dean he had to be from somewhere far out of town; he honestly looked more more suited for a business transaction than high school. Dean wondered if he maybe went to a private school before getting transplanted to this one. It wouldn't surprise him either as the guy seemed so smart. He was in a few of Dean's classes and always knew the answers when the teachers called on him. 

Dean wanted to go say hi to the guy, feeling bad that he’d not yet made a formal introduction to him since the guy started school there, which was something Dean actually tried to do with most new kids. He decided against the introduction though when he saw how engrossed the other kid was in the book he was reading. If the guy was anything like Sam, Dean knew it would be bad news to interrupt someone who looked that immersed. The guy didn’t even so much as notice Dean sitting two feet away from him as he walked by. 

Dean wanted to make a joke to Sammy later about how he’d spotted another nerd like him. Because damn was his brother such a nerd and Dean, as a dutiful big brother, never let the kid forget it. Dean laughed a little as he remembered a time Sammy had been so engrossed in a book that he’d walked into a light pole... face first, got bloody nose and everything. Dean didn't stop laughing even as he helped the kid off the floor, helped clean his blood away, and put an icepack on the bruise that began rising to the surface. He seriously wondered how mishaps like that didn’t happen more often to people who read and walked. It seemed like such a hazard. 

A loud thud pulled his attention back around from the memory. 

Well, fate was funny. 

There on the ground was the new kid, attempting to pull himself up after seemingly tripping over the large pothole in the road. Without hesitating Dean jumped up from the bench and jogged towards the guy, offering him a hand up. 

“Are you alright, buddy?” Dean asked with concern in his voice. 

The new kid seemed to not notice Dean’s proffered hand and pulled himself up from the ground, without making eye contact with Dean. He glared at the ground as if it were the bane of his existence before speaking. “My ankle hurts, but I am alright.” 

By Dean’s quick visual assessment, the guy’s ankle didn’t look like it was broken or sprained, probably just twisted. The guy's pants now had a hole in the knee of them, but other than that the other boy looked fine. 

“Here, lets get you over to the bench.” Dean said, gesturing over towards the seat he’d left unoccupied. 

The new kid looked up, flushed probably from embarrassment, and make tentative eye contact with Dean before his eyes flickered away and he mumbled out a small, “Thank you.” 

Dean felt bad for the guy. He'd been in his fair share of embarrassing situations over the years (who hasn't?), like the time he tried to impress Jo at the lake and completely landed on his ass on the dock, slipping in a puddle of water as he tried to do a cannon ball. He could hardly walk for a week, his tailbone having been so bruised. And Jo sure as hell never let him live that one down. 

He didn't know if he should try to say something to comfort the new kid, considering they were complete strangers so instead Dean simply just responded with a quick, "No problem," before helping support the guy over the bench. When he was certain the guy was comfortable and off of his ankle, Dean quickly jogged back to the street to fetch the book that had somehow landed a few feet away from where the kid had. When Dean handed it over, the other boy looked up with a grateful smile and kind blue eyes; the bluest eyes Dean had ever seen. 

Dean smiled down at him. “Looks like you took a pretty rough tumble,” he supplied with an air of friendliness. 

“Yes. I was clearly not paying much attention to where I was walking,” The guy admitted sheepishly. 

Dean plopped himself down on the bench next to the new kid and chuckled a little. “I’ll say. That book must have been pretty good for not to see the gaping hole in the ground. I’m betting you didn’t even know I was sitting on this bench when you walked by.” 

The other guy looked almost ashamed as he mumbled, “I’m sorry. I did not.” 

“Don’t be sorry, I’m just teasing you.” Dean replied with a wide grin. He didn't want the new kid to think Dean was insulted that he didn't notice him. But the new kid didn't look back at Dean with a smile, instead after hearing Dean’s words he looked up and squinted his eyes, a deep head tilt accompanying the action as if he were trying to determine how Dean’s words were a tease.

Dean didn't know why the look left him feeling confused. Did the other kid think he was weird? He looked almost distrusting of Dean and that was not something Dean was use to. Yeah, some kids around school still believed the rumors that he was some sort of back alley thug who got into loads of fights, but most people knew him as the puppy dog he was. Suddenly he felt scrutinized under the other man’s stare, and didn't really know where to go with the conversation from there. He switched back to the subject at hand. 

“How’s your ankle feeling?” 

“It’s sore, but I could probably make it home.” The kid’s voice sounded unsure as he twirled his ankle in a circle only showing a minor flicker of discomfort at the action. 

“How far do you live?” 

“Almost ten minutes from here.” 

“You want a ride back home?” Dean had walked to the school, being that they only lived five minutes away but he figured if the guy was hurting too much he could run home and grab the car and take him home. 

There was a peculiar look on the guy’s face that Dean couldn’t decide if was distrust or just hesitation. He suddenly began to worry that this new kid had heard the rumors about him and was scared of him already. 

“Oh—that’s alright.” The guy eventually said. “Thank you for offering.” 

“You sure?” 

“Yes of course.” 

Dean frowned a little but figured it wasn’t his place to insist on making sure the new kid got home, even if it went against every instinct in him to let someone go without helping them. “Okay, just go easy on that.” 

“I will.” The guy declared as he stood up. He didn’t offer a goodbye just turned and started to walk away, albeit with a slight limp, towards his house. 

“Hey…” Dean called after him, realizing he’d almost forgotten his manners. 

The new kid turned around. “Yes?” 

“I didn’t catch your name.” 

“Oh, yes, Castiel Seraph.” 

Dean tried to offer his best smile, hoping that if the guy did hear the stupid rumors that circled around the school, that maybe this first impression would be enough to make him ignore them. “Well, Castiel Seraph, I’m Dean Winchester.” 

The guy nodded in response. “I know.” 

“You do?” 

“Others at this school speak fondly of you, Dean.” He said it so matter-of-factly that Dean couldn’t help but flush. Before Dean could say something flippant or sarcastic in response, Castiel drew the conversation to a close. 

“It was nice to meet you Dean.” 

Castiel had already turned around by the time Dean could respond with his, “Yeah, you too.” 

Before he could even blink, Sam came bounding out of the school speaking a mile a minute about the upcoming speech and debate competition that they were going to participate in and all of his ideas for what he wanted to do for the competition. The kid was so excited that Dean had to actually remind him to keep his voice down as they walked into their house, since their mom only had a few more hours to sleep before she had to get up and get ready for her shift. 

At home Dean and Sam fell into a routine. Sammy got started on packing their mom a ‘lunch’ with whatever he could find in the fridge while Dean got started making dinner for them all. Once Sam had her lunch made he then went about doing his few chores before going into their mother’s room and waking her up for the start of her day. Usually by that time Dean would have dinner ready or almost ready. 

“Smells good, sweetheart.” She announced as she made her way bleary eyed into the kitchen. 

“You say that every day, mom.” 

“I can’t help it that you’re a chef.” 

Dean tried to brush off the praise but knew his traitorous cheeks still flushed in embarrassment. “Mom, it’s just spaghetti.” 

“It still smells like heaven.” She insisted as she grabbed bowls out of the cupboard for the three of them. 

Dinnertime was always Dean’s favorite time of the day though he’d probably never admit it to anyone. He loved being able to sit down with his family and to spend time all together, as a unit. He’d never admit it to his mom, for fear of making her feel guilty, but he hated that she always worked nights. It sucked to only get to see her a few hours out of the day, and to be on complete opposite schedules from her. He knew she didn’t really have a choice, and it made him feel bad for even getting upset about it but he loved his mom and wished he could spend more time with her. At least he had dinners though. 

Neither he nor Sam ever held back from telling her about their days, knowing that it was the only time Mary seemed to get the chance to really know about their lives. That night wasn’t an exception to their detailed explanations of their days, even though Sam did monopolize most of the time rambling on and on about the upcoming competition. 

But like every night, dinner had to come to an end and their mom had to go get ready for work, leaving Sam and Dean to work on their homework at the kitchen table. When she was ready to leave they met her by the front door as they always did. 

“Did you finish your homework?” She asked the two of them as she slid on her shoes. 

“Most of it.” 

“Good. I want it done before you watch TV.”

“We know.” The boys said in tandem. 

She smiled at them brightly, before shouldering her purse and turning to them with a serious face. “Doors locked—“ 

“Alarm on. No exceptions.” Sam continued for her before Dean cut in. 

“If anything happens we call right away. If we can’t get ahold of you, we call Uncle Bobby. No one is allowed over after ten. We know the drill mom.” 

“I know. But it reassures me to hear you say it every night.” Dean could see the sad smile in her eyes and knew deep down how much she hated not always being around. 

“Love you.” He exclaimed, moving in for a hug. 

“Love you too. Don’t stay up too late.” 

“No promises.” 

“It’s a school night. You can stay up during the weekend.” 

Dean rolled his eyes playfully. “Fine.” 

“Love you babycakes.” Mary said as she pressed a kiss to Sammy’s long mop of hair. 

“Love you too.” 

Once Mary had left, the door was locked, and the alarm turned on, Sam and Dean went about finishing their homework and watching some TV. Then when it approached bedtime, like always, Dean made himself and his brother lunches for the following day before they got ready for bed. 

By the time Dean’s head hit his pillow, he’d long forgotten about his run in with the new kid earlier that day.

* * *

Dean shut his locker and turned to head out of the school. It was finally Friday and he and Charlie had a standing date to play video games. He still needed to get home and make dinner before she came over, and he also needed to make sure that Sammy got to his friend Brady’s house for the night but that didn't keep him from being excited about game night. Dean was kind of in a hurry because of all he had to do and was almost out of the school when he heard a loud smack behind him. He almost didn't turn around to look, needing to get home, but instinct had him turning around anyway, and, truth be told, he half felt like he was experiencing déjà vu the minute he did. 

Attempting to pick himself up from the floor, book strewn across the wet tile, was none other than Castiel. 

Without really thinking, Dean scrambled over to the other kid to help him up. “We gotta stop meeting like this.” He joked as he pulled Castiel up by his elbow. 

Castiel didn’t meet his eyes and spoke mostly to the floor. “I apologize. This is starting to become embarrassing.” He said nervously. 

“Didn’t you see the wet floor sign? The janitors just cleaned.” Dean pointed out, pointing to the bright yellow sign perched on the floor. 

Castiel shook his head. “I did not. I was… I was caught up reading again.” 

“I’m starting to think reading might be dangerous.” 

“Perhaps I shouldn’t read and walk anymore.” 

Dean laughed a little. “It might be safer for you.” He agreed. 

Castiel bent down and picked up his book before finally peering up at Dean shyly. “Thank you for being kind about it.” 

Dean frowned. “What do you mean?” 

“It’s happened to me a handful of times before. Usually people find it a prime time to mock me and my ‘nerdiness.’” The other boy said it with both air quotes and a shrug, the movements looking almost forced. 

“I can’t say it’s not pretty nerdy, but my brother has walked into his fare share of poles while reading so I get that you just get really into a book.” Dean smiled over at the other guy. 

“Yes. That is true.” 

It was then that Dean realized the two of them had made it outside and were headed in their direction of home. He figured since they were going in the same direction he might as well get to know the guy he’d picked up off the ground twice already. 

“So what’s your story?” He asked, for lack of a better question. 

Castiel turned the cover of the book in his hand towards Dean. “I’ve just started the Hobbit. I’m sure you’ve heard of it.” 

“Dude, that’s not—“ Dean cut himself off with a chuckle but when he looked over at Cas the other guy apparently didn’t get what was so funny. “I meant ‘what’s your story’ like I want to know more about you. Tell me about yourself, where did you come from?” 

“Oh. Right. Thank you for clarifying.” Castiel still looked confused but answered Dean’s question anyway. “I moved to Lawrence to come stay with my father. Prior to the move I was living with my mother in New York.” 

That perked Dean up a little. He knew the guy looked far removed from this town. “Like the city?” 

“Yes, Manhattan.” 

“Damn, you’re a long way from home.” 

Castiel shook his head. “Not really. My home is now ten minutes walking distance.” 

“No—I meant your home in New York.” 

“But that’s not my home any longer.” Castiel’s face was unreadable as he spoke. “My mother made that explicit.” 

“Whoa. What?” Dean stopped in his tracks. Admittedly it felt a little odd that Castiel was sharing something like this so soon into knowing each other but that didn’t stop Dean from wanting to know what the other guy meant. “What happened?” 

“She told me I needed to stay with my father until I became ‘normal.’ I believe those were her words.” 

“What the hell does that mean?” 

“I am unsure.” If Dean knew the guy better he might be able to tell if Castiel was actually as cool about the situation as he sounded or if it were just a mask. Castiel seemed to be indifferent to it all though as he continued speaking. “I did not question it. But now I am here living with my father.” 

Not really knowing what to say Dean asked what he thought would be a simple question. “Is it just you or do you have any siblings?” 

“Quite a few actually, all by my father though they do not live with me. I have four older brothers and two sisters my age.” 

Dean’s eyes widened, “Shit, your dad got busy. Are you close with them all?” 

“I hardly know them.” Cas replied with a head shake. “They’re only my half-siblings. My mother rarely let me see my father and my siblings’ mother rarely allowed them to see him as well. There have only been a handful of times when I’ve seen them and they did not all take to me kindly.” 

Dean felt himself frowning again. He didn’t like how Castiel seemed so sure about his family’s negative views of him. “Can I ask why?” 

“Well I’m the reason their parent’s marriage crumbled. Their father had an affair with my mother and when she got pregnant, she revealed him to his family.”

Dean’s eyes grew large in size. This guy’s life sounded like a dramatic plot line from Dr. Sexy. “That doesn’t make it your fault.” Dean said adamantly knowing that despite the strange circumstances that there’s no way Castiel was responsible for something that big. 

“My mother says that it is.” 

Dean tried to picture a world in which his mother blamed him for something like that and found himself growing angry for Castiel. “Well your mother sounds like a real bitch.” 

“Many people do tend to call her that so I guess it’s true.” 

Dean had to admit that this was one of the strangest conversations he’d probably had about someone’s family but he couldn’t deny that he was really interested. “So your siblings, what are their names? Do they live around here?” 

“There’s Michael, Lucas, Raphael, Gabriel, Anna, and Hannah. My brothers are all older, Michael and Raphael are both married with their own families, and I believe they live a few hours out of town. Lucas is living in New York, working somewhere on Wall Street is what I believe I heard, though I never saw him when I lived out there as well. Gabriel, Hannah, and Anna all live with their mother about thirty minutes from here.” 

“And you never see them?” 

Castiel shook his head again. “Growing up, I only ever saw my siblings once or twice a year. Though when I got older Gabriel and Hannah both tried to keep in touch with me. We still speak once a month or so.” 

“Once a month? I can’t imagine only speaking to Sammy once a month.” 

“Sam is your brother.” It wasn’t a question, and by the look of familiarity on Castiel’s face Dean assumed the other guy knew his brother. So he asked. 

“Yeah, do you know him?” 

“I spoke to him in speech and debate. He was very kind.” 

Dean smiled proudly, glad that Sammy was nice to this guy. For whatever reason, Castiel seemed like he needed a little more kindness in his life and Dean was happy that the Winchester brothers could offer some of it. 

“This is my home.” Castiel suddenly declared. That’s when Dean realized he’d unintentionally walked the other guy home while caught up in conversation. 

Dean looked up to the house they stopped in front of, and whistled under his breath. The guy lived in the most expensive housing area in their town. The two-story house they were standing in front of looked like it had at least five bedrooms and Dean was willing to bet that it had one of those huge basements. He’d only ever been to one of these houses in the neighborhood before, Bela Talbot’s house, and he had thought her house was practically a mansion at the time. Castiel’s house was even bigger. 

“Wow. Dude, your house is awesome.” 

“It is quite large.” Castiel commented blankly. 

He didn’t say much else, nor did he make eye contact with Dean. Dean wondered, suddenly, if he was making the other guy uncomfortable. 

“Well… I guess I’ll get out of your hair.” 

Castiel turned to Dean like he’d just said the most peculiar thing. “You were never in my—“ He cut himself off before finishing his train of thought, almost as if he realized he should be familiar with that phrase but by the look on his face, Dean figured he wasn’t.

Dean wondered for a moment if the guy had many friends to talk to. Something told him that he didn’t. 

“I mean I’ll let you go inside, and I’ll head home.” Dean said by way of explanation. He smiled at the other guy who was starting to shift a little uncomfortably. Dean tracked his movements down to his dress shoes before he remembered. “How’s that ankle by the way? From the first reading wipeout?” 

Castiel finally made eye contact with him and offered a small smile. “Much better.” He confirmed. “Thank you for asking and for escorting me home, Dean.” 

“No problem.” Dean said with a shrug. Before he could say anything else Castiel had already turned to walk up to his front door. “See you around Castiel.” Dean called out towards his back. 

Castiel turned around and nodded. “I suspect that you will.” 

Dean laughed to himself a little at the formal way the other guy seemed to talk. He had to admit that he found it really interesting though. The guy wasn’t anything like the people Dean had grown up with around here and Dean felt himself wanting to get to know the other guy more. He wanted to be his friend. And if Dean’s suspicions were true, he felt that Castiel didn’t have much in the way of friends, at least in this town. 

Dean was going to change that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello :) Thank you for reading! 
> 
> So I often get 'scenes' in my head that wind up playing over and over until I can't stand it and I HAVE to write them down. This story stemmed from one of those scenes (a scene that will happen way later in the story). I don't have as much prewritten as I hoped for, which does mean that if you give feedback/suggestions for where the story could go, it might end up making it into this :) 
> 
> I do want to mention that my vision for this story does seem to have Castiel living somewhere on the autism spectrum. I do not want to insult anyone by writing things incorrectly so if there are huge errors in my writing, please let me know. 
> 
> Tags will be updated as the story progresses. 
> 
> I'm just forewarning you all that this will probably be a super slow burner!


	2. Chapter 2

Most individuals in this town had proven to be as kindhearted and welcoming as his father assured him they would be. Though the education system was significantly inferior to that in New York, Castiel had spoken with his advisors and was placed in advanced courses to keep him stimulated during the school days. His day-to-day life was nothing short of average, but Castiel relished in consistency and structure. He’d easily grown into his own steady routine, finding it simpler to stick with one in a place such as Lawrence compared to New York. A few days prior, however, had proven more interesting than the rest, having been fractionally out of his newly found routine.

He’d fallen while reading for the second time in such a short span of time. It had been merely coincidental that the same kind young man had helped him each time: Dean Winchester. Castiel hadn’t been too surprised by Dean’s kindness in helping him up due to the fact that Castiel had heard murmurings about how genuinely good Dean seemed to be, even though some rumors claimed that Dean liked to get in fights. Despite Castiel not knowing to believe if Dean really was a fighter, he still appreciated the help the other boy offered. 

He was, however, taken aback by Dean holding a conversation with him while walking back home. 

It had been odd to have another companion on his walk. Generally, Castiel felt uncomfortable in speaking with others, never knowing how to carry on conversations further than a few short sentences about a project. His mother use to tell him that others were uninterested in the unusual topics of conversation Castiel felt more at ease with. Which is what surprised him about his conversation with Dean, it didn’t feel uncomfortable, it had felt almost natural to speak with the other boy about himself and his family. 

The walk home with Dean had been his first worthwhile conversation with another student at this high school since moving. There were some students in his classes who would have conversations with him when prompted during instructional time, but aside from that not many individuals sought out time to speak to him. Which suited Castiel just fine. He preferred reading in solitude than struggling to act engrossed in another person’s interests. 

Though meeting and speaking with Dean had been a surprisingly nice change to his daily routine, Castiel didn’t think much of it by the time he walked through his front door after parting with the other boy. 

The following Monday he found himself going through each point of his day the same as usual. He showed up to his classes as early as he could, found a seat near the front for optimal viewing and listening purposes, and studiously paid attention in all his classes. Castiel didn’t stop to talk to others unless they spoke to him and was content to just blend in with his surroundings. 

At lunchtime he, as always, walked to the secluded part of the outside patio, where fewer students seemed to eat. A few feet from the rounded table he’d practically claimed as his own, he heard shouting from behind himself. Ignoring it, he moved to set his stuff down at his lunch spot. But the raised voice he’d heard came closer. It was saying _his_ name… sort of. 

“Hey! Cas! Wait up.” Castiel turned to see Dean Winchester jogging up to him with a smile on his face. 

Castiel had to admit that Dean seeking him out did mildly surprise him. “Hello, Dean.” He supplied, hoping that the other boy would clue him in to why they were currently speaking. 

“Where are you going man? I saved you a spot at our table.” 

“I was going here.” Castiel gestured towards his table. “My usual spot.” He paused for a moment as Dean’s words registered for him. “You saved me a spot with you?” He shifted a little, feeling slightly uncomfortable. 

Had Dean asked him to sit with him today and he’d forgotten? Generally he was better at remembering things. Still, he didn’t recollect agreeing to sit elsewhere for the day. 

“Of course. You’re cool and I want you to meet the rest of my friends.” 

Castiel didn’t understand and could feel himself frown. “You do?” 

“Why wouldn’t I?” 

“I wasn’t aware you’d speak to me today.” Castiel answered honestly. 

Dean had spoken to him on Friday but it was out of the ordinary. Typical days did not include Dean Winchester speaking to him at school or after school. At lunch, Castiel always sat alone at his table so that he could eat and read without too much noise and Dean Winchester did not sit with him. It was how things were. This day had been just as all the others were, until this moment. 

Though Castiel had only two more chapters left of the novel he was reading, he couldn’t deny that a part of him wanted to see how this now unusual part of his day would unfold. 

“Cas, we’re friends, of course I was going to talk to you sometime today.” 

That assertion took him by surprise. “We’re friends?” 

“Yes. Now come on, come eat with me.” 

Castiel didn’t immediately know how to react. He stood, grounded to the spot for a moment, assessing if Dean was being truthful with him. It wasn’t until Dean took his lunch tray out of his hands and walked away that Castiel felt himself automatically following behind the taller boy towards a more crowded table inside the school. He wanted to be apprehensive about the situation, knowing that he’d been wrong in the past, but Dean smiled at him kindly before turning towards the table’s occupants. That smile, despite his doubts, made Castiel feel that he could trust Dean. 

“Guys, this is Castiel. Cas, this is everyone.” Castiel looked at the table to the group of people. He was familiar with some of their faces, having seen them in his classes, but the only face he knew by name was the boy with the long hair at the edge of the table—Sam. 

Dean pointed each person out by name, “Benny, Jo, Charlie, Kevin, Ash, Jess, and you know Sam,” before setting Castiel’s food down and gesturing for him to sit down. 

“I do. Nice to meet you all.” 

Castiel sat down and repeated their names in his head, worried he’d be expected to know them right away. 

_Benny. Benny with blue eyes and brown hair. Benny looks like a bear. Jo. Jo looks like sunshine. Charlie. Charlie is red. Red like embers of a fire. Kevin. Kevin is gloomy. Like a thunderstorm. Ash. Ash has unfortunate hair. Mother would disapprove. Jess. Jess looks warm. Warm like—_

“So Dean tells us you’re from New York?” Charlie, _Charlie is red_ , suddenly asked, interrupting Castiel from his cataloguing of names. He's been told countless times how impolite it is to ignore another’s questions in order to finish his thoughts, but it’s always a struggle to turn his mind off. He does so anyway in order to process her question, not wanting Dean and his friends to immediately associate him with rudeness. 

“I am.” He confirmed. 

“What’s it like there?” It came from. Jo, _Jo like sunshine._

“Crowded and malodorous.” He answered. causing them to all laugh in response. Castiel felt himself shift, not knowing if that was a proper answer. He didn’t mean for the response to be laughter. 

“But isn’t there like always something to do there? It seems like it’s definitely the place to be.” 

Castiel nods. He’d heard of people at his former school attending various events, especially during the weekends. “I suppose there is a lot to do there. I did not do much besides read.” 

“How long did you live there?” Benny. _Benny is like a bear._ Benny asked. 

“My whole life.” 

“And all you did was read?” Castiel is left to the assumption that Jo speaks a lot. She’s had many questions already. “You didn’t check out the museums? Or go to central park? Or ride the subway for fun?” 

Castiel retreats, briefly, into his memories of his caregiver Hael dragging him to those places and more. She’d insisted that it would be fun. It was never fun. The day would always end with her angry with him. Then mother would be angry with him for disobeying. She didn’t tolerate disobedience. 

“Never for fun, no.” He said with a solemn headshake. “I visited most of those places but mostly as field trips with school.” 

“But like didn’t you and your friends go and explore the city?” 

“I did not have friends.” He assumed, more so than inherently knew, that he made the group uncomfortable by his word choice and immediately felt guilty for it. 

Dean had turned to him. He didn’t look pleased. “Cas, that can’t be true.” His head shook with his words. It made Castiel frown. 

“I would not lie.” Castiel assured Dean. “I had a few acquaintances who I’d work with on group projects, but aside from them, I did not spend time with anyone.”

The look Dean gave him confused him. He didn’t know what it meant. Castiel also squinted at the other boy, analyzing the way his eyebrows creased and his lips pursed. He found Dean’s features pleasant even in this slightly contorted look. 

Dean was not a skyscraper. He was not artificial and sharp nor did he loom over others to assert dominance and wealth. No. Dean reminded him of… a mountain, one Castiel had only ever seen in a book. The green of his eyes were reminiscent of the forest treetops, bright yet warm. His presence captivating, endearing, in the way he stood sure of himself and strong. It was comforting. More so than Castiel knew what to do with. 

Maybe Castiel had been staring too long, because suddenly Dean coughed, startling Castiel from his thoughts. He was delighted, however, at Dean’s next words. 

“Well, you have us now. Right guys? We’re your friends.” 

Castiel looked over to the other occupants of the table, watching as a collective nod passed over them. 

Though Castiel was unsure how long their friendship would last—and part of him doubted it would be long—he knew it was polite to thank them for the sentiment. 

“Thank you.” He said graciously, hearing a few mumbles from the others in response. 

His stomach gave a slight rumble at that moment and he realized that he’d forgotten to start eating his food. He quite liked the peanut butter and jelly sandwiches that came in packages. He usually paired them with a fruit cup. 

He ate in silence for some time, content to watch the others at the table converse with one another. 

_Benny looks like a bear. Benny keeps looking at me strangely. He must think I’m strange. Jo looks like sunshine. She talks very much. She talks even when no one is looking at her. Charlie is red like embers of a fire. She has smiled at me twice now. Her smile is kind. Kevin is gloomy. No one makes him talk much. I hope they let me be like Kevin while they are my friends. Ash has unfortunate hair. His hair suits him. He explains is jokes—Dean says that ruins them—I find it helpful. Jess looks warm like the sunset. Sam talks to Jess quietly. He looks shy. He usually isn’t shy when he is in speech and debate._

By the time Castiel’s thoughts had finished, so had his food. That’s when Dean turned his attention back to him. The rest of the individuals at the table were still in conversations with one another, paying no mind to Dean speaking with Castiel. 

“What class do you have next?” 

“AP Biology.” 

Dean’s eyebrows raised in shock. “AP? Shit. I can’t make it through on level. AP must be hell.”

Castiel didn’t agree with that notion. “I find that your school lacks the rigor my old one provided so it’s not posing a challenge thus far.” 

“You’re saying you find it easy?” 

“I do.” Castiel looked more intently at Dean’s face in that moment and realized that he must have insulted the other boy. He almost looked… ashamed? “Do you find biology difficult?” 

Dean scratched the back of his neck and did not meet Castiel’s eyes. “Uh—Yeah. A bit. Yeah.” 

Castiel felt guilty for upsetting the other man, especially after he’d already been so kind the past few days. He wanted to make it all right again. 

“If you’d like, I could assist you with it?” It was the least he could do, really. 

Dean looked up and seemed shocked, though Castiel didn’t know why. His suggestion was fair. “You’d tutor me?” Dean asked. 

“Yes.” 

Suddenly Dean’s smile returned. “That would be awesome. Thanks, man.” 

Pleased that he could help, Castiel nodded in response. He then looked at his watch out of habit and took note of the time. 

“I should go to class now.” 

Dean too looked at the time on his phone his face screwing up when he saw it. “The bell isn’t going to ring for another five minutes?” 

Castiel knew his early arrival to classes was deemed unusual, but it made him feel more comfortable. “I like to be early.” 

He stood up and shouldered his backpack before picking up his trash from the table and turning to walk away. 

“Oh okay. I’ll see you around then?” Dean asked from behind him. 

Castiel turned around and nodded. “I imagine you will, yes.” 

By the time he threw his trash away and began walking to class, he felt a presence encroaching on him. 

“Hey, Castiel, wait up.” 

He slowed his stride down and turned his head over his left shoulder to see _red_ next to him. “Hello, Charlie.” 

“We have bio together. You mind if I walk with you?” 

Her suggestion made sense so he didn’t see why not. “I don’t mind.” 

It took only three strides before she began a conversation. “So, how’d you meet Dean?” She asked and Castiel felt relief at it being a simple enough response. 

“I fell, twice, and he was there to help me up each time.” 

She found his answer amusing enough to laugh. “Well that’s lucky.” 

“Surely just a coincidence.” 

“Yeah, maybe. But now you two are friends so maybe it’s a little lucky.” 

Castiel couldn’t quite decipher how falling on the ground in front of the same person twice could be considered lucky, but he decided not to argue his point. “Perhaps.” He conceded. 

“You don’t talk much do you?” Charlie then questioned. Her tone wasn’t harsh like others who’ve asked similar questions of him, but nonetheless Castiel knew he was likely making her uncomfortable. 

“I apologize—“ 

“Don’t!” She exclaimed, cutting him off. “It’s cool, we don’t have to talk much if you don’t feel like it.” 

He felt relief at her words. “Thank you.” 

He decided that day that it was pleasant speaking to Charlie. She allowed him time to be silent while at the same time engaged him in sporadic, non-invasive, questions that he didn’t mind answering. She was also an excellent partner to have in biology, as she seemed to understand much of the content. Castiel had to admit that it was enjoyable to have someone to speak with while in class. And though much of the day had been out of the ordinary, he found himself glad with the progression of it all. He hoped that maybe the following day Dean and Charlie would consider being his friend again.

* * *

To his surprise Dean, Charlie, and the others had all remained his friends over the next few days. Each day Dean approached Castiel at his secluded spot and asked him to come join them at the inside table again. 

Castiel found himself beginning to look forward to lunchtime. Though it was now Friday again, one week since Dean had walked home with him, Castiel assumed that come Monday his friendship with the others might expire. The thought made him feel upset but he accepted that it would likely be the case. 

He was brought out of his melancholy when he felt a hand on his shoulder as he walked down the hallway towards his next class that day. Slowing his walk, he gazed at the taller figure next to him. 

“Dean?”

“Hey Cas, uh I was just wondering, do you maybe want to come hang at my house with me and Sam after school? We’re going to play some video games. Usually I play with Charlie on Fridays but she is going out of town.” 

“Are you sure you’d want me to intrude on your time with your brother?” He asked, trying to understand Dean’s offer. He knew Dean loved quality time with Sam. 

“I wouldn’t have asked if I didn’t.” 

“Oh.” Castiel supplied. “Well, I suppose that’s true.” 

“So is that a yes?” 

Castiel contemplated for a moment before deciding. “Yes, I’d like to play video games with you and Sam.” A beat later he wondered, “Would you like help with biology today also?” 

“I have some homework, if you wouldn’t mind.” Dean shrugged his shoulders at that. “But we don’t have to.” 

The two had spent one day right after school in the library working on Dean’s biology homework but had yet to set another day to work together. Castiel figured this would be a convenient opportunity. 

“Of course I don’t mind, I said I’d help.” 

There was a wide grin on Dean’s face. “Cool. Meet me at the front of the school at the end of the day?” 

“Yes, Dean.” Castiel responded before turning away and going to class. 

Just as promised, Castiel waited for Dean at the front of the school. Only a handful of minutes after the dismissal bell had rang, Dean and Sam came striding over to the place where Castiel stood. 

“Hey Castiel.” Sam greeted immediately as the Winchester brothers steered them all in the direction of their home. 

“Hello Sam.” 

“So you’re coming over to play video games with us?” 

Suddenly Castiel was unsure of himself. “Is that alright?” He asked nervously. He’d been looking forward to playing video games with both brothers but he would understand if Sam did not want him around. 

“Dude of course it is.” Sam assured him with a smile. It made Castiel feel less tense. “What video games do you like? We have like all of the Call of Duties. We have a few of the Grand Theft Autos. We even have Mario Bros.” 

“I’ve never played any of those.” 

Dean quickly broke into the conversation sounding exasperated. “Dude really? What do you play?” 

“Does Candy Crush count?” Castiel’s voice was worried again. He hadn’t known he needed to have played video games before. 

“Dude…” Dean’s eyes were very wide. Castiel wondered if his offer was about to be retracted but then Dean smiled brightly. “We are so going to school you on how to play video games!” 

The phrasing Dean used was strange but Castiel was bound and determined to be ‘schooled’ on how to play video games to the best of his ability. 

The home they approached was a faded green color, with a kept lawn and potted daffodils nestled next to the door. Despite the peculiar welcome mat that read 'This is not the door you're looking for,' the home looked like a warm and welcoming place, one that no one other than Sam and Dean Winchester could live in. As they approached the front door, and Sam walked inside, Dean turned to Castiel and spoke lowly. 

“Hey, so our mom is sleeping and probably will be for a few hours so we have to keep it down.” Castiel nodded in response to that rule, cataloging it in his mind, as Dean continued talking. “I also have to start dinner so that she can eat before work and Sammy has to pack her a lunch so that she doesn’t go a whole shift without any more food. So like, we will be a little busy but you can either hang out with us in the kitchen or just hang out in the living room. Whatever you’re comfortable with. Sorry I didn’t tell you before, I just didn’t think about it.” 

Castiel was grateful that Dean had taken the time to explain the rules to him, or else he worried he may have done something to ruin their ‘hang out’. “I understand.” Castiel confirmed. 

When the two boys walked into the house Dean asked, “You’ll eat dinner here right?” 

“If I’m not imposing.” 

Dean had a fond smile on his face as he shrugged off his backpack and slipped off his shoes. “Course you’re not. I invited you over, didn’t I?” 

“You did.” 

“Cool. You can put your stuff anywhere. My room is that one right there.” Castiel followed the motion of Dean’s hand towards the room at the bottom of the stairs, the door was only cracked open so Castiel could not get a view of the inside contents. 

Castiel chose to place his backpack down next to where Sam and Dean had laid theirs, hoping that would be all right. “Thank you.” He said kindly, toeing off his shoes as well. 

Dean and Sam worked in the kitchen and allowed Castiel to wander around the house for a while. He’d gazed at all the artifacts that lined the tops of the kitchen cabinets as well as the windowsills, wondering why so many flowers adorned the decor of room. Their mother must love gardening, he assumed. The kitchen led into a dining room, which lacked many decorative items for Castiel to look at so he moved into the living area. There were shelves lining either side of a fireplace that had a large television mounted above. He peered at each figurine and frame that lined the shelves before his line of vision brought him to the back wall of the room where a plentiful amount of pictures were hung. 

There were many pictures featuring only the Winchester boys smile or goofing around. Each boy had a row of school photos lined up as well, showing the progression of their ages through the years. There were pictures featuring their mother as well as a man who resembled Sam very much, all as a family unit looking happy. Castiel most enjoyed a picture of Dean sitting on a fishing dock with a huge smile on his face with a large fish in has hands. 

“Cas?” Dean’s voice called from behind him. 

“Yes?” Castiel asked, not looking away from the wall of photos. 

“Whatcha doing?” 

“I enjoy looking at your photos.” 

“Yeah we got a lot of them.” Dean supplied plainly. “My mom loves ‘capturing the moment’ or whatever crap she says.” 

“My mother never took photos.” Castiel supplied, gazing at a photo of Dean, Sam, and their mother at what looks like a concert. 

“You’re saying you don’t have embarrassing pictures documenting your life?” 

Castiel shook his head. He hadn’t realized how interesting it was to view another person’s life through the photographic evidence of their experiences until this moment. “Only the obligatory school photos. A few from cruises we’ve gone on also.” He turned his head to look at Dean while pointing at a picture. “Is this your father?” 

“Yeah. That’s my dad.” 

Castiel looked back at the photo and nodded at the answer. “He and Sam look very similar.” 

“Yeah.” 

“He’s passed, I assume?” There were only pictures of the man with Dean and Sam when they were young. None of them together as the boys aged. 

“Oh. Yeah.” 

Castiel looked over at Dean detecting a shift in his tone. “I apologize. I’m making you uncomfortable.” 

“No, no. It’s okay.” Dean declared. He looked down at his feet for a moment before gazing back up. “I just don’t talk about it a lot. I guess everyone I know was around when it happened. I’ve never really had to tell someone what happened before.” 

“What did happen?” 

“A house fire.” Castiel felt himself frown watching the way Dean said this with a shrug. “He was a firefighter. Didn’t get out in time and the place collapsed on him.” 

It’s not something Castiel has experienced before, losing a family member or watching someone lose one. To be quite honest, if he lost a family member he doesn’t know if he’d be sad about it, death is just a fact of life, yet he can see it in the cloudy haze that overcomes Dean’s bright demeanor that it still pains him to remember his father’s passing. Castiel realizes that he does not wish to see Dean sad, and though he lacks an ability to truly provide comfort, he still wishes to. 

“I’m… very sorry for your loss.” 

Dean for his part, stares at Castiel and doesn’t say a word. His expression seems soft and gentle. Castiel cannot think of anything else to say let alone do at that moment except wait for Dean to speak again. 

Following a sniff and a quick shake of his head he does. “Anyway—Dinners ready and Sam is waking mom up. Want to go sit down?” 

Castiel figures his offer of condolences was accepted and decides not to question it further as Dean had changed the subject, so he answers the question at hand and follows Dean into the dining room. 

Mary Winchester turns out to be an exceptionally kind woman. Within seconds of entering the room she greeted Castiel with a brilliant warm smile and flooded him with a sense of happiness. As Dean served everyone their plates Mary did not hesitate to ask them all about their days. She started with Sam who talked animatedly about an argument that their class had over the similarities and differences between The Tragedy of Hamlet and a film called The Lion King. Dean got to ramble on about his physics teacher who apparently references a film called ‘The Star Wars’ during his lessons. When she firsts asked Castiel about his day, he didn’t know what he should say but after a few prompting questions he detailed the experiences he had for her earning a smile from everyone at the table. 

Dinner was short lived after that, as Mary had to finish up in order to start getting ready for her shift. The boys began cleaning the kitchen and doing the dishes after their mom excused herself. They steadfastly refused to allow Castiel to help, though he insisted it wouldn’t be any trouble. Instead, he found himself in the living room staring at a pile of video games with various images of post-apocalyptic or futuristic words, paired with an overly large man in armor yielding a gun. How he was expected to pick a suitable game for the three of them to play was beyond him. 

He was trying to read the backs of each game in order to help with his decision when he heard Dean’s voice from behind him. 

Do you want a soda?” 

“Yes?” He answered unsurely. He typically only drank water, tea, or juices as his mother never kept soda around. Dean seemed to take his answer as an affirmative though and moved on to another one. 

“What about chips?” 

“What are you having?” 

“Doritos.” 

Castiel smiled. He’d had those before. “I’ll have some as well.” 

Right as Dean turned back to the kitchen, Castiel felt his phone begin to buzz in his pocket. He pulled it out and peered at the name on the screen before lifting it to his ear. 

“Father.”

Immediately Chuck’s voice fumbled into the receiver. “Hey buddy. Are you still stuck at school?” 

“No, I’m not.” Castiel answered honestly. 

“Oh. Uhm, okay? I just noticed you’re not home at the normal time. I was starting to worry. Is everything okay?” 

“I apologize. I came over to my friend’s house.” 

“Your friend?” 

“Yes. Dean.” 

“Oh okay. That’s—that good. B-but Castiel, next time will you—could you just call me to let me know if you won’t be home?” 

Castiel figured that was a reasonable request. “Yes.” 

“Do you need me to get you later?” 

Castiel declined since Dean’s house was not too far from his own. “I will walk.”

“Okay buddy, have fun.” Chuck said into the phone signaling to Cas that he could hang up, so he did. 

It was a few moments after getting off the phone that Mary announced she was leaving. The boys met her in the entryway and said their goodbyes while Castiel shuffled awkwardly on his feet not knowing what to do or say. Ending his mild suffering, Mary walked over to him and greeted him with another smile. 

“It was so nice to meet you Castiel. I hope I’ll be seeing you around here more often now.” 

He tried to smile kindly but knew it came off awkward. “I suppose that’s up to Dean.” 

“Nonsense. I’m telling you to come over whenever you want.” 

A surge of warmth washed over him at her words. “Thank you.”

“You’re very welcome. Can I give you a hug too before I go?” Mary asked sweetly, but kept a distance between the two of them that told Castiel she wouldn’t be insulted if he told her no. 

He didn’t see a problem with receiving a hug from her though, she was kind to him like Dean and Sam. It must be a Winchester personality trait, he thought. 

“Oh. Uhm. Yes. That’s fine.” He answered before stepping a little unsurely into her embrace. It was short lived but it was a simple enough gesture that made Castiel feel… special almost. He appreciated it. 

Mary eventually did have to leave, hugging Sam and Dean once more and reminding them to keep the doors lock and call if anything happened. 

When the three boys all came back into the living room, Castiel finally declared that he did not want to pick the video game since all the choices were too similar for him to make an adequate suggestion. This led to Sam declaring that they’d start him off with Mario Brothers. 

Before long the three of them were propped on the couch with snacks between them, staring at the television screen as Dean and Sam argued over who was teaching Castiel the correct way to play the game. Castiel decided video gaming was enjoyable. 

Predictably, even after feeling comfortable with the rules of the game and the buttons he had to press, Castiel was not very good at actually playing it. Dean did say that he started to get better but Castiel was hard pressed to believe if Dean was being honest. 

A couple hours passed and the sun had long since set in the sky. Castiel knew that it was necessary to go home, as Sam was already yawning and Dean was starting to look tired too, but Castiel had to admit that he didn’t want to leave the company of the brothers. It filled him with a sense of loss that he couldn’t explain, as if him leaving solidified the fact that he’d likely never experience a night such as this one again. But he had to come to reality eventually. 

“I should probably go now.” He announced once some odd plant had yet again eaten his character. 

Dean sat up and yawned. “Are you sure? You don’t have to.” 

“You both are very tired.” Castiel explained, pointing to Sam whose eyes had just shut. Castiel stood up and went to move towards his backpack when he suddenly remembered, “Dean! I’m sorry I forgot to help you with your homework.” 

“Don’t worry about it.” Dean brushed off. “It’s not a big deal, we’ll do that next time.” 

Castiel hoped that Dean meant there really would be a next time. 

After he put his shoes back on and had his backpack securely on his shoulders he turned to Dean and smiled. “Thank you for allowing me to spend the day with you.” 

“Sure! I had fun.” 

“I did too. Perhaps we could ‘hang out’ again sometime?” Castiel suggested, hoping he didn’t sound too eager. 

“Dude, of course we will. We’re friends.” Dean said in response as the two of them made it out to the front porch. 

“We are?” 

“Yeah, I already told you that.” 

“I know. I’m sorry.” Castiel felt nervous. He didn’t want to annoy Dean with always asking if they were friends so he felt it best to explain himself. “I simply don’t know how to tell if someone sincerely wants to be friends with me. I haven’t had much luck in the past.” 

“Well, when someone invites you to hang out with their friends, or at their house, and you have a good time together, generally that means you’re friends.” 

The answer seemed thorough enough. At least Castiel knew he and Dean were certainly friends now. Being that they were friends, he figured it would be okay to ask Dean for some more clarification. “How do I know if someone is interested in being my friend though?” 

Dean thought about this question for a moment. “Uhm, I guess when they try and get to know more about you and don’t just talk to you for group projects.” 

“That’s helpful. Thank you.” Taking that rule into consideration Castiel could deduce with some certainty that Charlie and Sam too where his friends. A follow up question quickly formed in his mind before he could figure out who else he could count as a friend. 

“Dean, how do I know if someone doesn’t want anything to do with me?” 

“Wait what?” 

“There is this girl in my English class who sits next to me, Ruby, and I’ve tried to speak with her. But I think she isn’t receptive towards it.” 

“Why, what’s she doing?” A look of concern had suddenly overcome Dean’s features. 

“Whenever I try and speak with her she… ignores me.” 

“I know Ruby, and she’s just kind of a bitch. I guess…” Dean stopped for longer this time to decide what he should say. “Uh I guess some signs you can look for would be if they only reply in short sentences, they look away when you’re talking, or they just ignore you completely. Those would be the best clues that they don’t want to be your friend... I think?” 

Castiel nodded. That too was helpful. “Okay.” 

“But Cas?” 

“Yes?” 

“She’s an idiot for not wanting to be your friend. I think you’re awesome.” 

He knew he was smiling brightly when he responded, “That means a lot to me, Dean.” 

“You cool to walk home?” 

“It’s not that cold out—“ 

Dean cut him off with a chuckle. “I meant will you be okay walking by yourself or do you want me to take you?” Dean asked. He looked like he’d be willing to drive Castiel home if he liked but Castiel could tell the other boy was tired and probably wanted to go to bed.

“Oh, I will be fine.” Castiel responded happily. “Thank you Dean.” 

Dean smiled back too from the doorway, “See you soon buddy.” 

“I suspect you will.” Castiel said back before walking down the path to the sideway, a content feeling washing over him at the thought that maybe he’d get to hang out with Dean more. Maybe Dean would want to come over to his house too?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what your thoughts are so far on this! What do you already like? I want to hear your thoughts for this one because it will definitely help me with writing! 
> 
> My updates will probably be pretty slow for a little while as I am starting my second year of teaching this week and I'm 99% positive I'll be dead to the world when I get home for probably the next month. I will do my best to work on this (as well as get Then updated as well) in my spare time. 
> 
> Thank you for being patient with me :) 
> 
> If there are any awful typos that make this unreadable let me know so I can fix them, I didn't have as much time to edit this as I would like.


	3. Chapter 3

One week after spending the day at the Winchester’s, Dean was still his friend. 

Two weeks later and Dean was still his friend. 

Even a month later Castiel could still proudly call Dean his friend. He even took to calling Sam, Charlie, and Jo his friends as well. 

Aside from the sheer exhilaration that came with the knowledge that he didn’t have to spend his days in solitude, Castiel had now even started to realize that he was beginning to enjoy the town he’d been living in. It was quaint in comparison to New York City, and the overall lack of rush, odor, and sound was beginning to settle something deep inside of him. He felt happy, for the first time he’d ever really known. 

With every passing week and every new interaction with his friends, Castiel found himself growing more confident in those relationships. He was beginning to understand when someone was making a joke or when they were referring to pop culture he was unfamiliar with. All of them, Dean especially, were including him in nearly all of their groupings. Each movie the group went to, an invitation was extended Castiel’s way. Each dinner they wanted to have together, Castiel found himself as one of the members of the table. After his first weekend of playing video games, Dean had officially asked Castiel to join him and Charlie for all of their Friday night game nights. 

Admittedly, Castiel often found himself worried he was intruding on Dean’s time with his friends or family. He’d feel a rush of guilt that he was likely burdening the other boy with his presence and lack of interesting speaking topics. But Dean was kind and told Castiel that he actually enjoyed having him around. 

Dean was a good friend. 

Dean was the _best_ friend. 

His best friend. 

But Castiel didn’t dare speak of it to Dean in case that was the wrong thing to say. Maybe it was too soon to call someone your best friend? He didn’t know the etiquette for friendship well enough yet. 

Those thoughts lingered in his mind as he walked into his house Wednesday after school. Charlie had called Jo her best friend while she was talking to Castiel during chemistry, prompting Castiel to ask Dean on his walk home how one would know if another is their best friend. 

_“When you have friends, you want to hang out with them a lot, but when you have a best friend you just want to hang out with them more than everyone else. Like, you’re more comfortable with them and you don’t have to worry about always doing or saying the right thing because you know they aren’t being all judge-y with you. I don’t know… best friends just feel more like family because they accept all the weird and love you for it.”_

Castiel knew by those words that he could consider Dean his best friend. 

The thought thrilled him yet confused him since he didn’t know where to proceed from there. Dean had been quite courteous bringing Castiel into his circle of friends, encouraging Castiel to go to a few sporting events at the high school, and talking Castiel into trying the activities, music, and movies that the others enjoyed. Castiel didn’t know what he could do to return his appreciation of friendship but he wanted to do something soon. 

“Father, I’m home.” He announced into Chuck’s office as he made his way towards the stairs to deposit his backpack. 

“How was your day?” Chuck asked turning to face him, proceeding with their routine afterschool conversation. 

“It was fine.” 

“Did anything interesting happen?” 

Castiel shook his head. “Not particularly.” 

“Oh, okay.” 

Usually that was where their conversation ended. On most days Castiel would walk up the stairs towards his room and work on homework until his father announced that dinner was ready. 

Today Chuck asked another question. “Are you doing anything with your friends tonight?” 

“No.” Castiel smiled despite his answer, because he had actual friends that his father could actually ask about in conversation. 

“Oh? Are you still talking to Dean?” 

Castiel’s smile broadened. “Yes, he is still my friend.” 

“Oh, good. I’m glad.” And Castiel could see by his father’s expression that he was indeed, glad. It gave Castiel enough courage to ask Chuck something he’d been meaning to for a few weeks now. 

“Father?”

“Yeah buddy?” 

“Do you think I could invite Dean over to ‘hang out’?” Castiel’s words stuck in his throat a little. He wasn’t certain how his father felt about having people over. It was only ever the two of them, aside from one day a little over a month prior when Gabriel, Hannah, and Anna came over for dinner. 

“Of course you can. This is your home Castiel, you’re allowed to bring friends over.” 

Castiel sighed with relief. “Thank you. Do we have something to play video games on?” 

“No, but if you’d like we can go to the store and buy something? A few games too?” 

Castiel felt hope bubble inside his chest. “Please?” 

“Yes. Yes of course.” Chuck’s face was alit with happiness suddenly, leaving Castiel to assume he loved shopping a lot. “Let me go put on my shoes and grab my keys. Maybe we could get you new bedding for your room since we’ll be out? And some decorations if you’d like? Some clothes too?” 

“That would be nice. Thank you.” 

Shopping with his father was a pleasant experience. Chuck highly encouraged Castiel to get whatever it was he liked even though Castiel was hesitant to do so. It wasn’t until Castiel found his father placing items into the cart after Castiel had eyed them longingly—and walked away from them—did Castiel feel comfortable actually picking the items he enjoyed. 

His room at his mother’s house had been by her design. White walls, white bedding, white and metal furniture, the only color in the room shone off the spines of his books. He didn’t mind it though, not until he spent time in Dean’s bedroom. 

The Winchester boy had an affinity for clutter. There were movie and band posters all over his walls. He had pictures of himself and his friends on pushpin boards behind his desk. His tall bookcases were filled with not only books but also model toy cars and trophies from his childhood. There were beanbag chairs and clothes spewed over the floor at nearly all times. And despite the chaos that was Dean’s room, Castiel felt more at home there than he ever had at his mother’s. 

Castiel wanted an ounce of the warmth that Dean’s room brought him, into a room of his own. So as Chuck hung a large framed photograph of a snow top mountain over Castiel’s bed, Castiel went about finding spots for the other items he had purchased. Small potted plants, and one hanging plant found their way around the room. A large wooden bookshelf, which Chuck had insisted Castiel purchase, was placed next to his desk. Castiel took his time adorning it with both his books as well as some small decorative items he had found (he particularly liked a small golden squirrel he’d found for unknown reasons). 

His bed was dressed with blue sheets and a fluffy forest green duvet, along with some pillows that had drawn his eye. After Chuck had hung up the first picture, he worked to hang another photograph Castiel had wanted—an up close photo of an old honeycomb, with a single bee lingering in the corner. When Castiel rolled out the new fluffy rug that he thought felt better than the other rugs, both Castiel and his father stepped back to look at the room. 

“Do you like it?” 

“I do.” Castiel answered honestly. He tried to voice exactly the right words. “It feels—it feels like a home.” 

“I’m… I’m so glad to hear you say that, buddy.” 

“Thank you, for taking me.” 

“Of course! Of course, I wanted to. I want you to feel happy here.” 

Castiel knew deep down that his father genuinely meant those words, leading Castiel to honestly state, “I am.” 

“Good. Good. Good.” 

“It’s late.” Castiel noted, peering down at his alarm clock on his side table. 

“You’re right! Oh and you have school tomorrow. You should go to bed.” 

“I should. Goodnight father.” 

“Goodnight buddy.” Chuck made his way towards the door, but stopped suddenly and turned back around. “Uhm—uh, Castiel?” 

“Yes?” 

“You know… you know you can call me—you can call me ‘dad’ if you’d prefer.” Chuck stammered over his words a little. Castiel never knew why he did that when talking to him sometimes. 

“Oh? I’ll… I’ll consider it.” 

“Okay. Okay, good. Sleep well.” 

“You as well.”

* * *

Castiel had been too nervous to ask Dean when he had seen him before school that day. He’d even been too nervous to ask him during lunch. He didn’t know why his stomach was twisting in knots at the thought that Dean would deny his request for company. The timing was good, it was Thursday so it wouldn’t coincide with Friday night game nights. Plus, Castiel had purchased the same Xbox and games Dean uses, and therefore Dean wouldn’t be bored at his home. Additionally, Castiel had never known Dean to turn down another’s request to ‘hang out’ and therefore his chances of Dean saying yes were very high. 

And still Castiel found himself fumbling a little with his voice as he lingered at the end of lunch to finally ask. 

“Dean?” 

The green eyed boy smiled though he looked a little confused. Castiel assumed it was due to his presence mere minutes before the bell rang—generally he would be in class already. 

“What’s up Cas?” 

“Would you be interested in coming over to my home after school? I purchased an Xbox yesterday so that you could play it if you’d like.” 

Dean’s smile turned into a small frown. “You didn’t have to get an Xbox just for me to come over. I’d have come over even if you didn’t have one.” 

“You would have?” Castiel asked unsurely. 

“Dude, yeah. I want to see your collections you’ve been telling me about.” 

“You do?” 

“Of course I do! Plus, I could bring over Star Wars and make you at least watch the first one.” 

Castiel smiled at that notion. Dean had been talking about showing him that movie for weeks. Still, Castiel had other thoughts on his mind. Had he made a wrong decision with the Xbox? It had made Dean seem upset. 

“Should I take back the Xbox?” He asked, needing Dean’s direction for what to do. 

“Nah, keep it. We’ll probably end up playing it on another day I come over anyway.” 

Hope blossomed in Castiel’s chest. Dean hadn’t yet come over to his house but was already making plans for more than just the one occasion. 

“Another day?” 

Dean’s smile was wide, yet he rolled his eyes. “What? You think we’re only going to hang out once?” 

“I was unsure.” 

“You’re a funny guy, you know that?” Just then, the bell rang. Dean placed a reassuring hand on Castiel’s shoulder, still smiling brightly. “I’ll meet you outside of your last class and we’ll go back to your place, okay?” 

“Yes, Dean.” 

And even though Castiel was later to his class than usual, he did not care for one second. His mind was reeling with the thought that he now had a chance to try and be as good a friend to Dean as Dean had been to him. 

He knew that if he asked, Dean would likely say that his best friends could be listed in order as: Sam, Charlie, Benny, Jo, Kevin, and Ash, based on what Castiel observed as his interactions with all of them. 

He hoped that maybe someday even he would fall on that list.

He’d be more than content to be the last spot. As long as he had a spot. 

Later that day, Dean whistled an impressed sound as they walked into Castiel’s house. Castiel didn’t see how his own house remotely compared to the loving and caring nature that Dean’s own possessed, but Castiel did understand that his house was far larger than most, especially for that of a two person family. 

As Dean had given Castiel the first time he’d been to the other boy’s house, Castiel quickly offered to show Dean a tour of his own house. Unsurprisingly, Dean had only kind words to say about each room they walked into. He seemed more excited about the large finished basement than Castiel understood, but at the mention of that being their “hang out” spot, Castiel suddenly saw the downstairs space with more enthusiasm too. 

What filled Castiel’s chest with a burst of pride was the casual way Dean complimented different parts of Castiel’s new bedroom. He said he thought the pictures of the mountain and the honeycomb were awesome, and that the colors Castiel had in there were cool. Dean took his time looking over Castiel’s bookshelf, noting some familiar titles and also commenting on the small figurines Castiel had placed there as well. Though Castiel knew logically that Dean’s opinion of his room didn’t matter, it still felt reassuring that the other boy enjoyed the space as Castiel did. 

They spent some time in Castiel’s room after Dean had insisted he be shown Castiel’s collections, ones in which Castiel didn’t choose to share with too many people for reasons he didn’t like to discuss. He knew fully that Dean was genuine in his interest, yet was still surprised when Dean asked more questions than anticipated. Still, Castiel had to be mindful about not getting caught rambling to no end about his items or else it was possible they’d never make it back downstairs for Star Wars or video games. 

They did make their way downstairs, some forty minutes later, walking past Chuck’s open office. Castiel never liked to disturb his father when he was working (although the man told him countless times that he didn’t mind) but with the door open he knew it was okay to let Dean pop his head in and look around. 

Dean instantly gravitated towards the built in bookshelves. 

“Damn, your dad has a serious collection of the Supernatural books. I didn’t know there were this many limited editions. Is he like a huge fan or something?”

“Not necessarily.” 

“Seriously?” Dean laughed through his question, gesturing towards the books on the shelf all aligned with the same author at the top. “Then who needs multiple entire sets of these books? Aren’t there like a hundred books total?” 

“104 actually.” Castiel corrected. 

“No shit? If your dad isn’t a crazy fan then why does he need two… three… five different sets of 104 books?” 

There was a chuckle from the doorway. “I take it my son has not told you much about me.” 

Dean and Castiel both turned to see Chuck standing in the doorway, smiling, with a glass of water in his hands. 

Dean’s posture straightened up quickly. “Oh. Uhm, he just hasn’t gotten around to it, sir. I’m Dean Winchester.” 

Chuck took Dean’s proffered hand and shook it kindly. “Nice to meet you Dean, I’m Chuck Shurley, however you might be more familiar with my pen name... Carver Edlund?” 

Dean’s eyes blew wide as he looked between Castiel, the books, and Chuck, “Wait what? You’re joking!”

“I’m not.”

“Cas!” Dean exclaimed, turning to Castiel quickly. “Your dad _wrote_ the Supernatural books? And you didn’t think to mention it?” 

Castiel could only frown. “It didn’t seem of import.” 

“Dude!” 

He wasn’t sure, but the flustered look on Dean’s face led Castiel to quietly ask, “Did I do something wrong?” 

“No. No, of course not.” Dean fired back quickly; his features softening as he slowly approached Castiel. “It’s just… if your dad is a sci-fi novel legend, generally you should tell your friends these things. Especially if you’ve been friends for over a month.” 

“I apologize.” 

A soft hand landed on Castiel’s forearm. “Hey, Cas, it’s okay. I was just shocked.” 

Castiel didn’t know why he felt disappointed in himself, but Dean since insisted that he’d done nothing wrong he pushed the thought aside—or attempted to. He didn’t know how to voice that feeling inside of him, so he was grateful when his father spoke before he could. 

“Though I’d be more than happy to spend time with you both, I know you boys don’t want to hang out in here with an old man.” Chuck announced, settling back down at his desk. “But I do have to ask you, Dean, if you’re staying for dinner?” 

“Would that be alright?” 

Castiel saw his father’s smile widen more. “It’s more than alright. I’m glad to finally meet Castiel’s friend.” 

“Thank you.” Dean offered as he led Castiel out to the living room. 

“Would you like something to drink?” Castiel asked automatically, remembering how Dean always offers that politeness when Castiel comes over. 

“Do you have soda?” 

“Uhm… no, neither my father nor I drink soda.” Castiel admitted as he felt himself deflate a fraction more. “But if that’s really what you’d like we could go to the store and get some? If you wouldn’t mind walking there?” 

The hand that was still connected to Castiel’s forearm rubbed a smoothing motion. “Cas, stop. I can drink whatever.” 

Castiel huffed out a breath. “I’m sorry.” 

He didn’t know why he felt unsettled at the moment, as if any second everything was going to turn on its axis. Already he was failing at being a proper friend. He was certain Benny, Charlie, and Jo never forgot to tell Dean important information about their families or that Dean preferred to drink soda pop after school. 

“There’s nothing to be sorry for.” Dean insisted as they both walked into the kitchen, oblivious to Castiel’s inner thoughts. “What are you having?” He asked kindly—always so kindly. 

“Lemonade?” Castiel suggested, thinking it preferable to milk. 

“Sounds perfect. I love lemonade.” Dean decided, smiling. 

“Next time I will remember soda.” Castiel noted out loud. He wanted Dean to be certain he wouldn’t forget. 

Castiel didn’t look at Dean as he pulled cups from the shelves and poured each of them a glass of the lemonade. Discontent was rattling around in his mind as he tried to focus on grabbing a few snacks from the pantry. He hoped he had at least gotten the correct snacks for their night, hoping he remembered the ones Dean liked to eat at his own house. 

“Cas?” 

When Castiel looked up, Dean was sitting at the kitchen island with a frown on his face. 

“Yes Dean?” He answered timidly, wondering if this was when Dean would decide that Castiel was definitely not a worthwhile friend. His heart thudded in his chest as he tried to fix his face to show otherwise. 

“Are you okay?” 

“Yes.” Castiel answered automatically watching as Dean studied his face. 

Castiel looked away, hearing a soft, “Is that the truth?” from across the island. 

His first reaction was to lie and tell Dean that he was completely fine and move on. But Castiel knew that lying to Dean felt wrong, especially when his tone sounded genuinely concerned. 

“No.” Castiel answered. 

“Did I do something wrong?” 

The uncertainty in Dean’s voice had Castiel looking up quickly to reassure him, “Of course not.” It was only a matter of moments until Castiel saw Dean figuring out what the problem was. 

“Do you think you did something wrong?” 

It was merely a sound when Castiel breathed out a small, “yes” to Dean’s question. 

“I’m going to stop that thought right there because you did nothing wrong. I’m assuming it’s because you forgot to tell me that your dad is some best selling author, right?” Castiel nodded miserably at Dean’s assumption but didn’t speak. He could almost feel the positive energy Dean began to send his way as the other boy spoke once more even though he didn’t feel he deserved it. 

“Dude, we like never talk about your dad so how could you have had the chance to tell me? You know? Totally not your fault. I really don’t mind. I think it’s super cool though, like your _dad_ writes the books our English teachers suggest for us to read. Explains the big house too.” 

Castiel still didn’t feel encouraged. “I forgot to buy drinks that you like as well…” 

For whatever reason this made Dean laugh. “So? I forgot your _last name_ for like three weeks until I saw you write it on your homework when you were helping me with bio. People forget things, it’s not a big deal.” 

Part of him didn’t want to believe the other boy but up until this point Castiel had found no reason to not trust Dean.

“Okay.” He replied, lacking any other words to say. 

Apparently it was good enough still since Dean’s full smile returned. 

“So… do you want to go watch Star Wars or play video games?” 

“Video games?” Castiel suggested, hoping it was the preferable choice. 

Dean happily jumped up from the barstool. “Sounds awesome.” 

And it was awesome. With every passing week, Castiel was getting better at the games he played with Dean to the point that now, Dean was beginning to ‘trash talk’ him in the same casual way he would with Charlie. At first he’d been apprehensive about the way Dean and Charlie talked to each other (and if he were being honest he probably would never feel comfortable talking that way himself) but knowing that Dean felt comfortable enough to tease Castiel that way made Castiel feel almost special. Like he belonged in their friendship group. 

It wasn’t soon after starting the game that Castiel forgot about his worries and let himself relax into his time with Dean. He was so absorbed in the moment that he missed the doorbell ringing an hour into their game. 

“Cas?” 

“Yes?” 

“Someone’s at the door.” Dean said, in way of explaining why the game was paused and why he was staring at Castiel. 

Castiel peered over his shoulder in the direction of the front door, hearing a set of impatient doorbell rings. “Oh, I’ll be right back.” He said as he rose to his feet before stopping and giving an intimidating glare, as he could muster “Don’t you dare try and cheat.”

Dean feigned insulted. “I would never!" He insisted, causing both boys to crack up, knowing Dean had a habit of sabotaging other players when the game was ‘paused.’ 

With a smile on his face Castiel made his way over to the front door, only to feel his heart sink at the sight before him as he opened it. 

“Castiel!” He heard his sister coo happily as arms were suddenly thrown around his neck. 

Castiel stiffly patted her on the back. “Hello Hannah.” 

When she released him he was able to look over to see his older brother Gabriel standing next to her with an always displeased looking Anna behind just behind him. 

“Hey there Cassie.” Gabriel greeted, slapping him on the shoulder as the three siblings made their way through the doorway. 

“Hello Gabriel.” Castiel responded in kind, before turning to Anna who was still steadfastly ignoring him. “Hello Anna.” 

“Oh. Hi.” 

Castiel looked back towards his father’s office, wondering where he was at the moment and why his siblings had just shown up unexpectedly. 

“What are you all doing here?” 

“Mom got the stick out of her ass tonight and said we could eat over here. We called dad like a half hour ago. Did he not tell you?” Gabriel looked almost surprised that Castiel didn’t know they were coming. 

“Oh…” Castiel muttered, having just remembered hearing his father’s voice from behind while he was engrossed in playing the video game, telling him he’d be back shortly. “He left in a rush. I assume now it was to the grocery store.” 

That answered seemed to appease Gabriel. “It’s good to see you Cassie. What have you been up to since the last time we were around?” 

“I’ve…” Castiel began to speak, to tell Gabriel about his time at school and making new friends when he heard animated gunshots coming from the living room, reminding him of his company that he’d briefly forgotten. “I was just playing video games with my friend actually.” 

“You have a friend here?” 

“Yes.” Castiel said turning back around to head into the living room hoping that he hadn’t kept Dean waiting for long. He felt his three siblings shuffling in behind him as he walked back into the living room. 

“Dean.” 

“Hm?” Dean jerked up, looking away from the television screen where he was most definitely sabotaging Castiel in the game. He scrambled to his feet when he saw the others in the entrance of the room. 

“Dean, these are my siblings, Gabriel, Hannah, and Anna.” 

Dean automatically went to shake all of their hands. 

“Half-siblings.” Anna corrected coldly as she limply shook Dean’s hand. 

Castiel watched as Dean’s eyes lowered to her. “Still counts as siblings in my book.” Dean retorted. 

There was an uncomfortable moment of silence, as no one in the room knew what to say. 

“I see that chattiness runs in the family.” Dean said. Castiel threw a grateful look at his friend for taking the lead in the conversation. “You guys up for Halo? Your dad went a little overboard with buying controllers. 

At the mention of their father, Castiel heard a scoff before a bitter, “I’ll be in my room” that was paired with Anna storming off. 

“Ignore her. She takes after our mother with the stick up her ass gene.” Gabriel jested before throwing his arm around Hannah’s shoulders and beaming at Dean and Castiel. “Anyway, Hannah and I’d love to play. Wouldn’t we Banana?” 

Hannah smiled graciously. “Of course.” 

Castiel was thankful to be out of Anna’s presence even for the brief time that she would be upstairs. She wasn’t unlike many of his preparatory school peers, making fun of him and pretending he wasn’t present in the room as she spoke. 

When they were younger Castiel remembers, though few in number, the times when he’d get to spend the day with his siblings. He remembers always being excited to see all of them, hoping that he’d get to play with them like the brothers and sisters on the TV did. Every time it would only be Hannah and Gabriel who would include them in their games and conversations—every time Castiel would go home disappointed, though thankful that he had at least two siblings out of six who tolerated him. 

Michael had been a mystery to Castiel. His eldest brother had already turned eighteen by the time six-year-old Castiel had finally been permitted to be around his siblings and not just his father. Michael had been kind, but he was too old to play with a small child, and was soon away to college leaving Castiel to never know him. Lucas being sixteen and Raphael being thirteen at the time of their first meeting wanted nothing to do with speaking to Castiel, referring to him only as ‘the bastard’. That was the only time Castiel has in his memory of his father getting angry. 

Later, when he was old enough, his consultation of the dictionary led him to forever be apprehensive in the presence of Lucas and Raphael. 

As for Anna, she was always closest to Lucas. Though the same age gap was between them as was between Lucas and Castiel, Anna and Lucas had a close sibling bond. Her proximity to their older brother led her to teasing Castiel, stealing his toys, and pulling his hair whenever they were together. As they grew up and her childish habits faded out, it led to her being cold and dismissive when speaking. Now, no matter how many times he attempts to join her in conversations she always speaks as if Castiel is not in the room or as if his mere presence makes her skin crawl.

It hurt, but it wasn’t something Castiel was unfamiliar with. He’d long grown familiar with people seeing his presence as more of something to endure than a welcome experience. He was fairly certain that with time even Gabriel and Hannah were going to begin feigning interest in his life before pretending not to hear him as he spoke. 

And though the thought crushed him, part of him still believed that it was inevitable for Dean to feel the same. 

For now though, Castiel didn’t allow himself to think those thoughts as he sat on the oversized leather couch that held himself, Dean, Gabriel, and Hannah. 

Despite Gabriel and Hannah being Castiel’s siblings, Dean did a much better job of holding a conversation with the two. He asked about their future plans, their hobbies, and what they do with their friends for fun; all things Castiel never thought to speak of. Dean was natural in his ability to keep a conversation with others and it pleased Castiel that he was getting a deeper insight to things about his siblings he’d never known. Learning that Gabriel wanted to be a film director and that Hannah wanted to be a writer like their father were both facts that surprised him. 

Though Castiel was more than happy to observe, Dean continuously brought him into the conversation, encouraging him to talk about his hobbies and other facts about himself that Gabriel and Hannah had never learned. 

“Have you guys seen his flower collection? It’s so cool.” Dean’s proud beaming smile made Castiel flush a little at the praise. 

“No?” Hannah said curiously, pausing the game and turning fully towards him. “What kind of flowers?” Castiel melted a little at her sincere smile. Hannah never failed to make him feel as if she wanted him around. 

“Pressed flowers.” Castiel admitted shyly. If it weren’t for Dean bringing it up, he never would have told his siblings about this particular collection—it hadn’t been something he talked to many others about after his mother had once scolded him over bringing ‘trash’ into the house. 

Gabriel, like Hannah, had a smile on his face. “Can we see them Cassie?” 

Castiel automatically looked to Dean, seeking guidance for his siblings’ curiosity. Seeing Dean’s nod of encouragement, Castiel took a deep breath before standing. 

“Yes. Let me go grab a few.” 

He ran up the stairs quickly, already running through his mind which page he’d want to show them. Of course when he got into his room and pulled out his well-kept books and glass cases, Castiel couldn’t decide which ones to pick. He felt warmed by Dean’s verbal affirmation that his collection was ‘cool’ and wanted to prove it to his siblings by showing them the best ones.

Castiel can remember the first thing he’d ever pressed, a maple leaf, perfectly shaped, found in central park on a walk he’d taken with his caretaker Hael. Seeing his enthusiasm for the leaf she’d taken him home and shown him how to press it between the pages of a dictionary to keep it forever. From there, his love for plants had stemmed though Hael’s tolerance of his newfound obsessed waned quickly. 

He was grinning ear to ear as he picked a few of his most colorful pages to show Hannah and Gabriel. He was excited to see if they’d respond to his work in the same manner that Dean had. As he made his way towards his opened door, Castiel stopped in his tracks, hearing Anna speaking in hushed tones. 

Peering out of his doorway, he saw Dean standing outside of Anna’s opened room. Castiel couldn’t see his face, but the look of annoyance on his sister’s made an uncomfortable prickling sensation rise beneath his skin. 

“You seem like a reasonably smart guy.” His sister said in a callous tone. 

By the way Dean’s voice lowered, Castiel knew his friend wasn’t too pleased with the way Anna was talking to him. “What do you mean?” 

“I’m just trying to warn you. It’s best if you get out now.”

“Excuse me?”

Anna lowered her voice, only fractionally, and leaned into Dean’s space. “Dean, there’s something wrong with him… mentally.” 

Castiel felt something in his chest weaken, hearing those words. It’s not as if he’d never heard them before—no this was far from the first time someone had point out his oddities. Yet hearing his sister tell his friend, his best friend, that he wasn’t mentally alright felt like a slap in the face. 

He felt like a child again hearing his mother tell her friends’ children that _‘even though Castiel is different, you still have to play with him. Teach him how to be like you, please.’_

He waited. He waited for Dean to speak what Castiel feared… he waited for the other boy to say ‘I know.’ 

But he didn’t. 

Instead Dean was furious in the way he asserted, “No. There isn’t. There isn’t a damn thing wrong with him.” 

“Yes there is.” Anna insisted. “You can’t say you haven’t noticed how weird he is. The way he talks? The way he never knows how to act around people? How he talks on and on about one damn thing for hours? I’m telling you, he only get’s weirder. I’m just trying to warn you, before it’s too late and he thinks you actually want to be his friend or worse...” 

Castiel stumbled back a few steps into his room, not wanting to hear Dean’s response. His head throbbed with emotion he wanted to keep at bay. He knew the minute he opened the door to find his siblings on the doorstep that he was in for an uncomfortable night… but why? 

Why did it have to be the one night he’d invited Dean over? 

He felt dread overcome him at the realization that Dean would likely not want to put up with his presence any longer by the end of the night. 

He didn’t know what he was going to do if that were the case.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was suppose to go through the family dinner but it started to get too long. So, next chapter will be the events after Dean's conversation with Anna as well as what happens at dinner... 
> 
> Leave me your thoughts, suggestions for what you want to see happen, or just say hello :) 
> 
> Thank you SO MUCH for reading this! 
> 
> (I did just start another multi-chapter also, so if you haven't seen that go check it out, it's called There Goes My Life)


	4. Chapter 4

“I’m just trying to warn you, before it’s too late and he thinks you actually want to be his friend or worse... he thinks you _care_ for him.” 

Dean balked. At first he couldn’t tell if the words he was hearing had actually come out of her mouth or not but the look of sheer contempt on her face made anger prickle under his skin. She’d really just said that. 

What started off as an innocent ‘Your name is Dean right? How’d you meet Castiel?’ rapidly turned into the small red-headed girl ‘warning’ him about Cas and his supposed mental ‘problems.’ And no… he wasn’t gonna let that crap slide. 

“Excuse me?” 

A disgusted, pitying look took over Anna’s features. “Don’t tell me you actually like the freak. Dean, it’s seriously more trouble than it’s worth.” 

“Do you hear yourself right now?” He knew his voice was vicious coming out, but he was pissed. “That’s your brother you’re talking about!” 

Anna leveled him with an icy glare. “He _isn’t_ my brother.” 

For the life of him, he couldn’t understand how someone could talk about a family member the way Anna was speaking of her own brother. Dean could feel anger rising up inside of him and the need to verbally put her in her place was dominating. If she’d have been a dude he would have actually considered punching her, but he backed down, knowing that it wouldn’t look good to cause a scene the first time ever being invited to Cas’s house. 

“This conversations done.” He spat, glaring at her before turning his back. He didn’t pay any mind to the words she muttered as he walked away. Instead, he tried to reel it all back. He didn’t want to clue Cas into him being upset because he knew Cas would ask why... and Dean didn’t want any reason to lie to the guy. 

He pulled a smiled on his face, one that wasn’t hard to form when he pictured finding Cas at his desk scouring through his collection to find the best page of flowers he’d made. He knew that had to be why Cas was taking so long to come back downstairs. It’s why Dean had left Gabriel and Hannah to come up and talk to him. 

He pushed open the cracked door and walked in, seeing Cas standing next to his closet with a few pages in his hand. 

“Hey Cas, you having trouble picking?” 

Castiel sniffed a little before bending down and placing the two pages back where he stored them. “No. I’m not going to show them…” 

“What?” Dean complained. “Why? They’re so awesome.” 

He watched as Castiel stood back up empty handed and schooled his features into neutrality. “They’re not. They’re… they’re weird.” 

Dean’s eyes involuntarily closed with the ache he felt in his chest for his friend. He knew immediately, by the way Cas said the word ‘weird,’ that his conversation in the hallway with Anna had not gone unheard. 

“You heard her?” 

A bitter smile reached Cas’s lips. “I assume she meant for me to.” 

The resigned nature of Castiel’s stance had Dean moving into his space. “Cas, you can’t listen to shit like that.” 

Before Cas could protest, Dean quickly rifled through Cas’s things, where he kept some of his pages. He gently pulled out the first few he could get his hands on and immediately laid them on Cas’s desk. 

“You see this right here?” He asked, gesturing to the pages. He struggled to find the right way to say what he wanted, he was never good at words but he knew he needed to try to be to make Cas understand. “This isn’t weird, it’s actually—it’s… it’s _beautiful._ And I’d bet my money on it that the second my mom see’s one of these pages she’s going to beg you to make her about a hundred of them.” 

Cas looked hopefully over at Dean. “Would she like one?” 

“Even _I_ would like one Cas.” 

A small ember of warmth radiated through Dean as he watched Cas smile happily down at the desk. 

“I can make you both one.” Cas promised softly, and Dean knew without a doubt that he’d keep that promise. And fuck if Dean wasn’t going to hang whatever Cas made him proudly on his wall for everyone to see. Just you watch. 

“That’d be awesome.” Dean said with a smile and a gentle bump of his shoulder to Cas’s. There was something about Cas that always had Dean wanting to reach out and hug the guy, make him understand that he was cared for. But part of Dean was scared he’d be crossing some sort of line so he didn’t. 

He moved in the direction of the door, “Grab the flowers, and lets go show Gabe and Hannah. I swear they’ll think it’s cool too.” 

It didn’t take a genius to know that Dean was going to be right about that. It was still a welcome sight to see Gabriel and Hannah waiting downstairs with happy smiles and eager questions about Cas’s hobby. You could tell just by the way Cas held the pages that he took pride in what he did, and it showed in the way the flowers were arranged and labeled so perfectly. 

Cas needed more encouragement. He needed people like his friends and siblings to show him that the things he was interested in weren’t weird. Maybe they weren’t common interests but that shouldn’t matter. What people cared about didn’t make them weird. Hell, Jo had an obsession with knives, Benny loved old fishermen’s hats, Sammy collected any and all books that pertained to supernatural lore, and Dean himself had a penchant for comic books. 

And frankly Dean loved that Cas had a thing for nature. It was unique, something no one around Dean paid enough attention to. Earlier that day Dean was seriously entranced as Cas explained in detail the different places the flowers came from as well as gave him an entire lesson on bee pollination. Dean was almost ready to buy a ‘save the bees’ bumper sticker by the time Cas was done talking. 

Dean already knew that Cas was something special. And it wasn’t just that the dude spoke his mind or struggled with sarcasm. It wasn’t even that he always asked questions to try and understand pretty much everything. Cas was just… Cas. 

It had only taken a few conversations with the guy, discussing his life growing up, for Dean to realize that Cas was a genuinely good person who just needed people to see that. He’d been brushed aside all of his life by an overly ambitious mother, ignored by his peers and siblings, and left to feel like he had nowhere he belonged. Yet despite all that, he cared so much about everyone. Even that day at school he’d rushed to Charlie at lunch because he’d found a book he thought she’d like to read to her mom who was in the hospital. 

It made Dean want to be that person for Cas, the person who would look out for him and show him that not all people suck, and that someone wanted to stick around in his life. Because he really wanted Cas to stick around in his life too. His mom had practically fallen in love with Castiel the moment she met him and now asked about him every single day—Dean thinks she too could tell that he needed more love in his life. Even Sammy was always asking when Cas was going to hang out with them. 

He smiled proudly Cas’s way as the other boy finally relented in taking his siblings upstairs to see the rest of the books of pressed flowers and plants he’d made and kept since he was a young boy in the city. They couldn’t spend too long up there, but it was enough time for Dean to see that Gabriel and Hannah definitely weren’t a big pile of flaming shit like the other sibling in the house was. 

When Chuck finally called them all down for dinner, Dean did his best to school his face as they approached Anna in the hallway. Not only was her stink face already getting under his skin, but the way she all but pounced on the seat Castiel attempted to sit in made Dean seethe from the pettiness the girl possessed. 

He knew immediately dinner was not going to go well. 

He did his best though. His mama had hounded him when he was younger to have proper table manners whenever at someone else’s house. She wasn’t really a stickler if he talked with his mouth full at home or accidently let out a belch here and there, but she’d have his head if she ever heard he was impolite at another person’s home. Mary also instilled in him the correct way to speak to adults, so despite the annoyance rolling off of Anna in waves, the discomfort making Cas squirm in his seat, and the fake neutrality Gabriel and Hannah were trying to display, Dean did his best to hold a conversation with Chuck. 

It didn’t take a shrink to tell that Chuck was a sad dude. He looked at his kids with so much longing and helplessness and guilt that made Dean almost want to hug him. And the fact that he looked so thankful that Dean was even trying to talk to him as they ate made Dean really feel for the guy. 

“So, Mr. Shurley, am I allowed to ask what you’ve been working on?” 

“Please, call me Chuck.” The older man answered in kind, his smile not reaching his pale blue eyes. “And I’ve actually been entertaining some ideas to pick back up on the Supernatural series.” 

“Whoa really? How would you do that? I mean in the last book didn’t Jared jump into the cage with the devil and like end the apocalypse? It seemed like a pretty solid way to end.” 

“I did too at first, but the longer I’ve been away from that world the more I realized that there’s so many possibilities left untold. Not even I believe that Jensen or Misha would just allow Jared to rot in the cage with Lucifer.” 

“So they’re going to open the cage?” 

“It’s an idea.” Chuck responded coyly, not really giving away any spoilers. 

Dean had to hold back a hard roll of his eyes when he heard Anna grumble under her break, “I really don’t know why so many people read those books.” 

Chuck tried to mask the sting of that insult, “Why is that?” he asked. 

“You went from having these two brothers fighting a new monster in each book to all of a sudden throwing demons and angels into the mix. And then you go and kill almost everyone off. It’s just kind of dumb.” 

“You’re just pissed he killed your character off.” Gabriel piped in. The eldest sibling at the table was starting to look increasingly more irritated with Anna every time she opened her mouth. 

“Gabriel was killed off too.” 

Gabriel rolled his eyes. “Yeah, but he’s a trickster, do you think he’s actually dead?” 

Chuck let out a small chuckle before addressing his arguing children. “I’ve told you all countless times that the characters in my story were not at all based on my own children. I’ve done research on many angels and it just so happened that some of my characters and my children share a name.” 

Even though Chuck’s argument was sound, Anna still seemed to feel a need to poke at her father’s work. “What about the angel in the trench coat? I’ve never heard of the angel called ‘Misha.’” 

“Misha hasn’t revealed his angelic name yet.” Chuck explained, leaving Dean feeling intrigued. 

Anna again tried to pick a fight. “So you say it’s only a coincidence that your kids’ names are in the story, but you’ve included Michael, Lucas, Raphael, me, and even Mom into the stories. Why aren’t Castiel and Hannah in them yet?” 

“Because the angel Castiel and the angel Hannah have not had a purpose to be in them. Perhaps they will in due time.” It was evident that Chuck was beginning to wear out from trying to please his daughter. 

“Castiel?” 

The boy in question looked up at his dad. “Yes?” 

“I know… I know you expected it to only be you and Dean tonight, but would it be alright if we all shared the pie you picked out for our desert?” 

Cas smiled kindly at his dad who seemed nervous to be making his request. “Of course.” Cas said, earning a small yet grateful smile from the older man. 

“Dude, you got pie?” Dean asked excitedly as Chuck stood up and left the room, closing the doors behind himself that separated the dining room from the kitchen. 

“I thought you’d enjoy it.” 

Damn, Cas was awesome. But it still left Dean feeling a little guilty every time Cas did something above and beyond what he needed just to make Dean happy. He didn’t want Cas thinking he had to always try and be perfect or something. 

“You know you don’t have to buy things for me. I really don’t care. But I do appreciate it.” He smiled widely at his friend, hoping Cas understood that he really was appreciative. 

“Castiel probably just likes spending all of Dad’s money. I mean did you see his bedroom? It wasn’t like that the last time we were here, must have talked the guy into buying the entire store. You’re really living it up here aren’t you Cassie?” 

Dean jumped a little when Gabriel’s fists hit the table. “For fucks sake Anna! Will you quit it already?” 

“Gabe!” 

“No! You need to stop.” Cas’s older brother looked like he was fuming, and Dean really wanted to pat the guy on the back. “You’ve been insufferable since the minute Hannah and I said we wanted to eat here tonight.” 

“It’s sucks when we eat over here.” Anna complained petulantly. 

“Yeah because you’re always a giant brat the whole time! I mean really, you’re being extra mean to Dad tonight, and now Castiel? What’s your problem?” 

Anna merely rolled her eyes and turned away, huffing and puffing like a small child. Dean could have kissed Gabe for that. He didn’t think the short guy was even capable of getting angry, he looked too easy going, but Dean was glad someone finally called Anna out on her crap. 

“So Castiel, how is—how is your mother?” Hannah politely injected herself into conversation. Dean liked her. She was very similar to Cas in her mannerisms and she seemed to look at Cas like she cared a good bit for him. 

“I assume she is well.” Cas responded. “I’ve not heard from her since I moved here.” 

That caught Dean’s attention right away. They didn’t talk about Cas’s mother much, mostly because Cas never seemed to bring her up and Dean didn’t know if it was alright to ask. But not talking to her kid since he moved away, that seemed weird. 

“Wait what?” Dean butted in, concerned. “But you’ve been here more than two months.” 

A bitter huff of laughter brought everyone’s attention back to Anna. “What?” She asked flippantly. When Dean glared at her she decided to gift everyone with her thoughts. “I just think it’s funny that not even his mother could stand him. I don’t blame her for not calling.” 

“Oh, you can go to hell.” Dean growled in anger. He had a whole arsenal of choice words he was ready to throw her way. But Cas gently placed a hand on Dean’s forearm, stopping him before anymore words spilled from his lips. 

“Dean, it’s okay.” 

“It’s okay?” Dean asked in disbelief. How was Cas not pissed? “Like hell it’s okay! I don’t like the way she treats you.” 

“I’m use to it.” 

“You shouldn’t be.” Dean hated that Cas seemed to just take this crap from her. No one should have family talk to them that way. “Your own sister shouldn’t treat you this way.” 

Not for the first time that day, Anna spat out, “I’m not his sister!” 

“Damnit Anna!” Gabe shouted. “Why do you always do this? Castiel did nothing wrong!” 

“Gabe he’s the reason we’re in this mess!” 

“What mess? You mean our life? Anna you weren’t even _born_ when everything went down between Mom and Dad. You have got to stop listening to the crap Raphael and Lucifer say! You’re starting to sound just at petty and pathetic as them. It’s about time you all get over it!” 

Anna leaned across the table, scorn in her eyes. “You need to quit calling Lucas that.” 

“Lucas is an asshat, I can call him Lucifer all I want.” 

“Gabe, if it weren’t for Castiel, we could have grown up with two parents.”

“What?” Gabriel spat. “Do you honestly think that Castiel somehow formed a plan to ruin our parent’s marriage pre-utero? Honestly, I don’t know why you’re so easily influenced.” 

“I’m not!” 

“You are! I get why Michael, Luke, and Raph can’t really forgive dad because they all lived through the shit show that went down between our parents. But you? You weren’t there! Hell, I was three when it happened and I don’t remember a damn thing.” 

Dean had to draw his eyes away from the two arguing at the table. He felt Cas sitting stiffly at his side and grew angry for his friend. Why wasn’t he saying anything in his own defense? How often did Cas have to listen to Anna or his older brothers talk this way about him? 

“Don’t you ever wonder what it would have been like if it never happened?” Anna asked to both Gabriel and Hannah. 

Gabriel sounded furious when he answered. “No I don’t! Because it did happen and our lives are just fine. Both Mom and Dad have so much guilt over the damn thing that they literally give us everything we want. And you know what else? We got a brother out of it! And despite the fact that we’ve given him zero reason to, he’s always treated us well, and he’s always shown interest in our lives.” 

“That’s because he’s jealous.” 

That was it. 

Dean couldn’t take it anymore. 

“You’re going to shut the hell up now.” Dean all but growled as he said it. “Cas hasn’t done a damn thing to deserve this from you, no matter what stupid ass arguments you come up with. The way you’re treating him is disgusting.” 

“Mind your own business.” Anna commanded. 

“No! You don’t have any right to come in here and start blaming Cas for all your crap. Have you even tried to get to know him?” The eye roll Anna threw him at that question had Dean barreling on. “How would you like to live your whole life, knowing you have six siblings out there and you don’t get to speak to them? What if the situations were reversed? How would you feel?” 

Regardless of her outward scowl and her crossed arms, Dean could see the small shift in Anna’s eyes as she considered his words. He knew he needed to drive his point home. 

“Despite what you think, his life wasn’t peaches and freaking rainbows. You all at least had each other. He just has himself.” 

Dean thought for a moment his words had gotten to Anna but then she started talking again and he seriously contemplated banging his head against the table. 

“You don’t know what you’re talking about.” 

Hannah finally decided to jump into the conversation. “He has a point Anna.” 

Betrayal hit Anna square in the face as she glared at her twin sister. “Oh you’re on their side?” 

Hannah sighed deeply. She must have been exhausted from her sister’s antics. “I don’t know why you’re always so angry about this.” 

“I just don’t get why Castiel is suddenly getting all the attention.” Anna exploded. “Why does he get to live here with Dad and get everything he wants when we hardly even get a phone call?” 

“I call every week.” Everyone’s heads flung around to see Chuck standing in the door, utter helplessness in his eyes. “I call each of you every week. You’ve never answered Anna.” 

“I’m busy.” 

Chuck slowly approached the table and laid down some plates, a warm apple pie, and a carton of ice cream. “You also know you’re more than welcome to stay here whenever you want. You have your own room. I’d be more than willing to drive you to school in the mornings if you ever chose to stay on a school night.” 

Anna knew all eyes were on her as her father waited for her to respond. That seemed to only piss her off further. 

“Whatever.” She snapped, looking away from Chuck. 

It was infuriating to Dean, to watch someone who had the chance to know her father, throw it away out of some sort of resentment over something that had happened when she was too young to understand. And Chuck seemed like a good guy. Dean didn’t know the whole story or why Anna was so pissed at him, but Chuck didn’t seem like the type of guy who abandoned his kids. 

“You’re all more than welcome to stay here.” Chuck said to the table. “I’d be more than happy if you’d stay here sometimes. I’ve always told you that.” He didn’t give his kids a chance to say anything before dismissing himself. “I’ll be in my office.” 

It was a wonder that Anna even looked a tiny bit remorseful as Gabriel scolded her. “Are you happy now?” 

“Shut up.” 

Gabe sighed and shook his head. “I hope one day you grow up and realize that if you keep this up, you’re going to grow up as miserable as Mom.” 

The fight seemed to have drained out of Anna even though she continued to try and argue with her brother. “Mom did nothing wrong.” 

“No?” Gabriel asked coolly. He seemed drained too. Like it exhausted him to no end to deal with his family’s problems. “Have you ever noticed how Dad comes to all of our school recitals and games? How he has never once missed a weekly phone call? Or a birthday? How he bought us all a car on our 16th birthdays and now pays for them all, and even gives us gas money?” 

Dean looked between the three siblings at the table. Hannah had her head bowed, almost as if in silent prayer though Dean could see her nodding along to the words Gabriel was saying. Anna was scowling at her brother but didn’t seem to have an argument within her. And Cas… Cas just looked sad. 

That look didn’t leave his face as Gabriel continued talking. “Did you simply just forget how every single year he’s taken us school shopping and never once told us no to something we wanted? No matter how much he does for us or gives to us, when we even mention him to mom he’s an _‘irresponsible ass who cannot get his life under control, why would you want to go stay with him, why do you prefer him over me? Haven’t I given you everything?’”_

Gabriel waited for Anna to look him fully in the eye. She didn’t seem pleased by the mockery he just made of their mother but she still gave him her full attention. “Anna, mom’s a bitter old woman who can’t move on from getting her heart broken. Don’t let yourself end up like that.” 

Silence met the dining room before Anna promptly stood with the sound of a loud wooden chair scraping against the hardwood floor. “We’re leaving.” 

“Fine.” Gabe responded shortly. “You go wait in the car and we’ll say goodbye to our dad and our brother.” 

The four of them left in the room listened as Anna stomped out, opened the front door and slammed it behind her. 

“Sorry ‘bout that.” Gabriel supplied helplessly. 

Dean shrugged, not knowing what to say. That had been… uncomfortable… to say the least. It was definitely not what he’d had in mind when he imagined coming over to Cas’s house for the day. 

He looked over at his friend and saw the same sadness overtaking him. He was staring at the pie on the table like it held the answers to the universe. 

Dean had a feeling he knew what was circling in his friend’s mind. 

“Cassie, would you be cool if Hannah and I came out here more now that you’re living here?” Gabriel asked, pulling Cas from his thoughts. 

“You want to?” Castiel asked his brother. His voice sounded so uncertain. 

“I definitely do.” 

“Me too.” Hannah chimed in. 

The smile was small but it was then when Cas responded with, “I’d like that.” 

Cas stood up as his brother and sister did. Gabriel was looking at his younger brother with sadness or regret, Dean wasn’t sure which. Perhaps it was both. 

“I know we haven’t been the best to you…” Gabriel admitted, looking genuinely upset about the truth to his confession. “It’s hard when we never really got a chance to know each other but, you need to know that I care about you. _We_ care about you.” He gestured between himself and Hannah. “If you ever want to just talk or whatever, you have us. I mean it when I say that both Hannah and I want to talk to you more.” 

Cas nodded in understanding. “Thank you Gabriel.” 

“We’ll see you around, okay kiddo?” 

“Yes.” 

Hannah was suddenly throwing her arms around a stiff Cas, but she didn’t seem to mind. “Bye Castiel. Text me?” 

“I will try to remember.” Cas promised as he watched the two walk in the general direction of their father’s office. 

Dean and Cas sat in the empty dining room in silence. There were about a hundred things Dean wanted to say, starting with the fact that Cas shouldn’t listen to a damn word Anna had to say because he was awesome…. But he didn’t think Cas wanted to hear that at the moment. 

So Dean tried to break the silence in an easier way. 

“Should we clean up?” 

It seemed to just register to Cas that there were five empty dinner dishes, and leftover entrees and sides still set on the table. Not to mention the pie and melting ice cream. “Oh no, I’ll do it later.” 

Dean, no matter how uncomfortable dinner had been, didn’t want to leave Cas feeling so down. He needed his friend to know that just because his family was mildly crazy that Dean wasn’t going anywhere. 

“Looks like we have a whole pie to ourselves.” He supplied cheerily. 

“You want some?” Cas almost seemed shocked by Dean’s question. 

“Dude, duh. It’s pie.” 

That was enough for Cas to crack a smile. 

Even though the pie had cooled down and the ice cream was a bit melted, it still tasted like heaven to Dean and it seemed to lift Cas’s spirits marginally. He and Cas ate far more than their share of the crumbly desert before Dean insisted he help Cas clean up, much to Cas’s protest. They hadn’t addressed the events of the night the entire time they ate the pie and cleaned up, so it didn’t surprise Dean that Cas was shifting uncomfortably as they found themselves on the front porch saying their goodbyes. 

“I’m sorry for tonight.” Cas spoke immediately, looking down at the porch’s floorboards. 

“For what?” 

Cas glowered a little in the direction of the front door before sending an apologetic look Dean’s way. “The scene with my siblings.” 

“ _You_ should not be apologizing.” Dean asserted, stepping into Cas’s space. “I can’t believe how Anna treats you. And that’s how your older brothers treat you too?” 

“They honestly don’t speak much to me.” 

“And that’s crap!” 

Cas shrugged. “It’s my fault their parents aren’t together anymore.” 

“Bull shit!” Dean rested a hand on Cas’s shoulder, squeezing hard enough that Cas would make eye contact with him. “You didn’t make the choices. You were an innocent baby. Nothing was your fault. Nothing _is_ your fault.” 

Cas didn’t look like he fully believed Dean, but he was still appreciative of the words his friend spoke. 

“Thank you for saying the things you did tonight.” 

“I can’t stand when the people I care about get hurt. I didn’t like how she was talking to you.” 

Apparently Dean said something mystifying because crystal blue eyes were looking at him as if he were some sort of beacon. 

“You care for me?” 

“Duh.” Dean answered easily. Because how did Cas not figure that one out? “You’ve practically become my best friend.” 

Suddenly Dean was thrown off balance as long arms wrapped around his neck in one of the tightest hugs he’d ever received. Instinctively Dean hugged back just at tightly. “Alright, alright, okay.” He chuckled into Cas’s shoulder, patting him on the back. 

Cas pulled away immediately. “I’m sorry. Was that—was that not okay? Was that uncomfortable for you?” 

“What? No! It was fine. I just didn’t expect you to be a huggy type of person. Caught me off guard a little.” 

“I’ve… I’ve never really hugged someone before aside from my mother when I was very young and also your mother when I first met her. I guess Hannah hugs me too…” 

That confession made Dean sad but he tried not to let it on. Instead he tried to mask it with humor. “Don’t tell Charlie that. She’ll probably suffocate you to death with all the hugs.” 

“Thank you for the forewarning.” 

And now that Dean had what he deemed as permission, he stepped back towards Cas with open arms, pulling him back towards him. Cas’s arms immediately went around Dean’s neck, and Dean smiled to himself. Dean was admittedly a hugger. He didn’t have any qualms with giving anyone close to him a hug. And not to toot his own horn but he’d been told many times he was a pretty good hugger too. 

The hug with Cas didn’t linger even though a part of Dean thought Cas could probably use it. Reluctantly Dean stepped away and his mouth suddenly supplied, “You want to walk to school with me tomorrow?” 

Cas seemed just as surprised by the spontaneous invitation. “If you would like me to.” 

Dean smiled. “Yeah, I would.” It was a little out of their way to walk with each other to school but that didn’t really matter. 

Cas seemed pleased with Dean’s response. “I’ll see you tomorrow morning then, Dean.” 

“Night Cas.” 

The whole walk home had Dean smiling. It wasn’t the best family dinner he’d ever experienced, and Cas’s siblings sure left an impression on Dean. But despite all that, Dean was still going home with a contented feeling inside his chest, one he was starting to always associate with spending time with Cas. 

And he really liked that feeling.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I need your thoughts! 
> 
> Part of me wants to keep going with this because I know where I want it to end and it's going to be pretty cute, if I do say so myself. But another part of me wants to completely scrap the work because I don't know if it's even any good.
> 
> I did edit a few parts in the first three chapters to make it a little smoother to read, but it didn't change anything plot wise. 
> 
> Be honest with me please <3


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Name change!  
> So yeah... As you can tell, if you've been reading from the beginning, this went from being called Homegrown to now being called Alright. When I first uploaded this I was STRUGGLING to find the right name for this fic and just settled on Homegrown because it roughly fit where I wanted this to go. 
> 
> If you haven't figured out by now, I choose to name my works after country songs. The thing is, I won't add a sequel to a work unless there is a song by the same songwriter of the original work title. (He Didn't Have to Be is named from a Brad Paisley song and my timestamp to it 'Then' is also named from one of his songs). 
> 
> So, I was never actually happy with the title of this work since it didn't feel just right. A few weeks ago I started listening to a song and came up with a fic I'd really love to write someday but the problem was it was by Zac Brown Band, which is who sings Homegrown. I knew that fic I wanted to write could not exist in the universe I was creating for Homegrown and it made me feel really disappointed that I'd backed myself into a corner. SO I started listening to some more songs and found one I use to LOVE. Alright by Darius Rucker... it has such a similar message as Homegrown does, but just feels _right_ to me in a way Homegrown never did. The song gave me my motivation back to work on this story and I'm now excited to see where this goes. 
> 
> I'm sorry for the long note, but I just wanted to explain the change. 
> 
> Thank you all for reading :)

He was falling in love. 

There was no other way to explain the permanent smile on his face as he kept thinking back to that too quick hug with Cas. 

The feelings weren’t a shock. He knew from the beginning that Cas was something special, but after dinner with Cas’s family, seeing how deserving of love Cas was—something inside Dean shifted. He wanted to be the one to give Cas all the love he deserved; he wanted to be the one to make Cas know he was worth it. 

He realized he’d need to take it slow. To be completely honest, as much as he’d been trying to get to know Cas these past few months he still couldn’t gauge where the other boy stood in regards to his feelings or attractions. Dean had assumptions, of course, but worried about overstepping his bounds with their still-new friendship. He figured it would be best to wait until Castiel figured himself out first if that’s what he needed. Besides, Dean had no reason to believe that Cas would even like him if it turned out that Cas liked guys too. So why put any sort of unwanted pressure on the guy by asking him on a date or something? Dean didn’t mind being patient. He knew if Cas revealed that he did return Dean’s feelings that it would be well worth the wait. 

Thoughts of the perfect first date flittered through his mind as he walked though his front door and turned the alarm on behind him. He quickly made a detour to his room to slip into pajamas before plopping onto the couch in the living room to call his mom and check in. Three rings and he heard Mary’s voice on the line. 

“Hey honey. How was Cas’s?” 

“It was mostly really good.” 

“Uh oh, did something happen?”

“Are you on break?” Dean could hear the sound of his Mom’s coworkers in the background and figured it had been a busy night. He could wait to tell her about the night until he saw her in the morning if she needed. 

“Yeah I got about ten more minutes.” 

He smiled, knowing she was probably lying and was currently sneaking off to a quite area of the hospital just to talk to him. He wasted no time diving into the events of the night. “Well everything was good, and then Cas’s brother and two of his sisters came over for dinner.” 

“Were they not nice?” 

“Well Gabriel and Hannah were nice, but his sister Anna… mom, she was a bitch.”

“You know better than to use that term to describe a girl.” Mary chastised and Dean corrected himself immediately. 

“She was an extremely unkind human.” 

“What was she doing?” 

Dean could feel himself getting heated just thinking back to the way Anna has acted during dinner. “She was treating him like he was this… this bad guy. She wouldn’t even call him her brother—had to keep correcting it to ‘half brother’ or just downright refused being related to him. _And_ at one point she warned me not to be friends with him because she thinks he has mental problems!” 

“How did Cas handle all of that?” 

“It’s crap! He says he’s use to it.” 

“Oh that sweet boy. It makes me want to just wrap him up in a thousand hugs.” 

“And his other brother and sister they stood up for him in the end, but I just hate that Anna is so mean to him for no reason. She thinks it’s his fault that their parents’ marriage fell apart. I didn’t meet his other brothers but I guess they treat him the same way.” Damn, right now he too wanted to go back over to Cas’s just to wrap him in a hug like his mom suggested. His friend deserved so much better. Which reminded Dean, “And, Mom, I had no idea but Cas said that his mom hasn’t even spoken to him since he moved here. He’s been here for months and she hasn’t even called him!” 

“Are you serious?” 

“Yes! How could she not talk to him for that long?” 

“I don’t know sweetheart, I really don’t know. But I’m so glad he has you to show him how he is meant to be treated.” 

“I really like him, Mom.” 

“You talked about how blue his eyes were for fifteen minutes yesterday, honey. I’m well aware how much you like him.” 

“They’re _so_ blue though! Like forget-me-nots!” 

“Oh, my precious love-sick child.” 

Dean felt his cheeks go hot. “Mom…” 

“I’m just teasing you.” 

“Yeah, yeah.” He said exasperatedly but still smiled to himself. It was a blessing to have a mom who was so accepting of him no matter what. 

She’d found out about him liking boys when he was in sixth grade and she caught him kissing a boy named Aaron in their back yard. Dean had started crying immediately, thinking she’d be so mad at him—he’d promised he liked girls too, he really did, but sometimes he liked boys—but Mary had just scooped him into a hug, asked Aaron to leave so they could talk, and explained to her son how loved he was. She told him over and over that she just wanted him to be happy and she didn’t care who he loved as long as he was happy. 

She was the best mom Dean could have ever wished for. And over the years she’d shown that despite her being a young mom, she was fiercer than any of the others (besides Kevin Tran’s mom of course). Mary had no qualms going toe to toe with anyone who thought either of her sons were less than wonderful, especially if they looked down upon Dean for his love interests. She knew what it was like to walk around with people casting judgment—she’d been seventeen when she got pregnant and subsequently married—and she sure as hell didn’t want her kids being subject to any of it. She raised her boys to be tough but compassionate, just like her. 

“Is your homework all done?” She asked, pulling Dean from his thoughts. 

“Most of it.” He replied in a grumble. 

“I want you to finish it before you go to bed, please.” 

“Okay.” Dean complied. “Did Sammy call you?” 

“I called him just before you called.” 

“Okay.” His tone was somber; he hated getting off the phone with her at night. He missed her. 

“I love you sweetheart, I’ll see you in the morning.” 

“Love you too.” 

Dean hung up the phone before pulling himself off the couch and making his way to his brother’s room. Sammy was sitting on his bed reading some book nearly bigger than himself, he smiled in way of greeting as Dean walked over to the kid’s desk to look check Sam’s homework (to the best of his ability) as he did every night. With a quick ‘looks all right to me’ he bid his brother goodnight and went to go finish his own work. He didn’t have much left to do so before he knew it he was checking all windows and doors and double-checking that the alarm was on. He peeked into the fridge to see that Sam had made them both lunches for the next day as well as left their mom a Tupperware of macaroni and cheese, sweet post-it note pinned to it and all. 

As Dean crawled into bed that night he still couldn’t stop thinking about blue eyes, pressed flowers, and the best hug he’d probably ever gotten. He found himself reaching for his phone. 

_10:47 PM:_ I’m really glad I met you Cas. Thanks for being my friend. 

Knowing his friend was probably already asleep and wouldn’t see the message until morning, Dean went ahead and fell asleep. 

It filled him with warmth to see one unread message after turning off his alarm the next morning. 

**5:45 AM:** I feel the same, Dean, very much so. 

There was a spring in Dean’s step as he got ready that morning and he saw Castiel waiting outside of his house. Even Sammy noticed (and teased him for it) but Dean didn’t care. He’d woken up to a message from Cas _and_ his friend was waiting for him to walk to school together. PLUS it was Friday which meant he’d have two nights in a row with the guy. 

He may or may not have wondered if he’d get a hug or two out of the day. 

He surely hoped so. 

Damn he was a sap. 

He didn’t ask for a hug when they got to school, knowing Cas was likely eager to get to his first class—the clear opposite side of the school as Dean’s first class. They’d probably see each other a few times during passing periods, but they wouldn’t really get to talk until lunchtime. 

He floated through the day talking to his friends and taking all the pesky end of week assessments teachers always threw their way. Lunch came and went, his group spending the time together as usual, with Dean almost pressed to Castiel’s side like the lovesick leech he was becoming—if Cas noticed he didn’t say. 

Before long he was waiting outside the front of the school for Sam and Cas to head home when he saw Benny make a beeline straight to him. 

“Hey.” Dean said with a cheerful smile. 

“Hey, can I talk to you for a second?” 

“Sure, what’s up?” 

Benny ducked his head before guiding them away from the line of students still leaving the school. “Do you—uh would you… Would you want to go see a movie with me on Saturday?” 

“Yeah sure!” Dean agreed happily. It wasn’t often that he got to go out with his friends—they didn’t have much in the way of disposable income in their house so any extra money Dean had from helping some of his neighbors he saved it for times like these. “I’ll invite Cas. Do you want to see if Jo or Charlie want to go too?” 

“Oh… I was… I was thinking it could just be me and you.” 

Realization quickly hit Dean and he frowned over at the gentle giant he called his friend. “Benny…” 

“Like a date…” 

Dean hated that Benny’s demeanor shifted as he prepared himself for a rejection but Dean couldn’t keep doing this. “Benny… we’ve talked about this.” 

“No, you talked and I just went with it. Dean, I’ve been asking you for years now and you keep saying that we’ll give it a try someday. Why can’t we try now?” 

“I don’t know.” He answered honestly because he really didn’t know. Anyone from the outside would look at this situation and think that Dean was an idiot for not accepting Benny’s offer earlier. They’d known each other for years, they got along seamlessly, and Benny was a great guy. Dean wasn’t blind either, he knew his friend was attractive, there was no denying that but still… he just felt like something was missing. “I just don’t know Benny.” 

“Dean, we kissed just last week.” 

“You kissed me.” 

“You didn’t tell me no. You kissed me back.” 

Dean felt guilty to the core, he didn’t want to believe that he’d been leading Benny on but it was plain enough that he had been. It just… it felt good to get the attention, and the sweet things Benny would say sometimes… he couldn’t, at the time, see why a kiss would be a bad idea. But every time they did… there was just nothing on Dean’s end, as much as he wished for his friend’s sake there would be. 

“I just... I don’t think a date is a good idea.” It was such a pathetic non-answer that Dean wondered why Benny even bothered with him in the first place. 

“Why not?” 

“It’s not the right time.” Dean supplied, knowing that his words weren’t honest. Knowing he was still giving Benny false hope just because he didn’t want to hurt him. 

“Will it ever be?” 

“I don’t know.” 

Benny look completely resigned. “Is it because of Cas?” 

“What?” 

“I just don’t think—He’s just not right for you. He’s a nice guy, he is, but he’s… strange and he doesn’t know you like I know you. Dean we could be good together.” 

“First of all, Benny, it’s not a competition. And second of all, you don’t know Cas like _I_ know him so don’t go calling him names like that. And this isn’t even about Cas—” 

“Are you dating him now?” Benny cut in. 

“I’m not, no.” 

“Then why not just one date?”

“I jut don’t think it’s a good idea.” 

“Hello, Dean.” 

_Speak of the devil…_ Dean and Benny both jerked around to look at Cas who was standing none the wiser of the conversation that had just occurred. 

“Hey—Hey Cas.” Dean tried to feign a smile but it was hard. He hoped Cas hadn’t heard what Benny and him were just speaking of. 

Realization must have dawned on Cas, as he suddenly looked guilty. “I apologize. I’m interrupting something.” 

“No, no you’re fine. Benny and I were just talking.” Dean was quick to ease Cas’s worries, as much as Benny looked irritated by him doing so.

“I came over to ask if I could still come over tonight.” 

“You know you can. Every Friday Cas. You don’t have to keep asking.” It made his heart clench every time Cas felt he had to make certain Dean wanted him around. What could he do to just show the guy how much he wanted him around? 

“I don’t wish to be presumptuous.” 

Dean’s locked eyes with those sparkling blues. “Every Friday I want you there. Capisce?” His words had Cas’s lips twitch into a half smile. 

“Yes, I ‘capisce’.” Cas replied back, air quotes and all. 

Dean felt himself melt just a little bit more. 

“Alright cool. Can you go see if Sam is ready to go? I just need to talk to Benny for a second.” 

Castiel nodded his affirmation and walked away, giving Dean a chance to turn back to Benny. “Look—“ 

“No, Chief, I get it. I’m just trying too hard for someone who’s got their sights set on someone else. I know when to throw in the towel.” 

Dean felt crappy. He’d have the head of anyone else who treated his friend the way he currently was, but he really never wanted to hurt Benny. “We’re still good right?” He nearly pleaded. “You’re one of my best friends. I don’t want to lose you, man.” 

“We’re alright, Dean. I promise.” 

Dean didn’t know what to say so he shuffled forward to give his friend a quick hug. Benny clapped him on the back a few times before pulling away, sadness in his eyes. The two walked over to Sam and Cas, a gaping space between them that Dean caught Sam eying suspiciously. 

The kid played naive though Dean knew he’d hear about it later, “You coming to our house for game night?” Sam asked Benny. 

“Not this time, brother, I’m gonna head home… lick my wounds.” Dean knew it was a joke to try and lighten the mood but it still made that guilty feeling inside him stir. 

“You’re injured?” Cas asked quickly. 

“Not physically, no.” Benny gave Cas a tight-lipped smile. “It’s just an expression.” 

“I understand.” 

“Well I’ll see y’all around.” 

The three mumbled their goodbye to the other boy and headed off in their own direction. Dean was quick to ask Sammy questions about his day so that neither Cas nor Sam could bring up what happened with Benny. It was a solid tactic since they made it back to the house without one inquiry from the other two. 

Cas and Dean walked into Dean’s room together as Sammy went to go start on making Mom her lunch. With their backpacks set on the floor, Dean perched himself on the edge of his bed to toe off his shoes. He must have been huffing and puffing in discontent too much because Cas was appraising him when he stood up. 

“You’re upset.” He deduced, squinting like he was reading too small print on Dean’s forehead. 

“I’ll be okay.” 

“Did something happen with Benny?” 

“Yeah,” Dean chose to answer honestly. “But we’ll work it out. We always do.” 

Castiel frowned. “I wish I could make you feel better.” The words made Dean’s heart skip a beat. This guy was too kind. 

“It’s okay, don’t worry about it. I’ll be fine.” 

“May I offer you a hug?” Cas offered, hopefully. “That is custom, yes?” 

“Yeah.” He was too quick to reply. Way too quick. “Yeah you can offer a hug if someone is upset.” 

“Then may I hug you Dean? Would that help?” 

He was goo. He was goo at Cas’s feet and the other boy had no idea. But that was okay. “Yeah Cas, yeah it would.” 

Without much fanfare Castiel flung his arms around Dean’s neck. Dean in turn had his wrapped around the other boy’s waist, holding tighter than he intended, but it was just what he needed. He turned his head just enough to press his face into the crook of Cas’s neck, breathing in the still new but now familiar scent that made his heart sing. 

“Better?” Castiel asked, muffled by Dean’s shoulder. 

Dean pulled pack reluctantly but smiled. “Definitely.” 

“Do you want to talk about it?” 

“Not yet. Some other day, probably.” 

“Then should we go prepare dinner?” 

Cas was starting to look at home here. He knew the routines the Winchester boys went through each night. Knew that he could put his feet on the coffee table without being scolded. Knew where to find the spices Dean was looking for. He just fit right in effortlessly.

“After you, angel.” 

Castiel’s curious head tilt came back. “Angel?” He questioned, sounding partially amused by Dean’s choice of nickname. 

It made Dean’s cheeks heat. 

“Uh—sorry. You’re… you’re just named after an angel and sometimes I like to give people nicknames. I… I thought it would be a good one for you… because of—because of your name?” He knew he was babbling, trying to back peddle his way out of this but completely failing. He didn’t know what else to say. It was a complete slip of the tongue. “I—I don’t have to call you that if you hate it.” 

“I don’t mind. I’ve never had a nickname before.”

“Well… Now you do. Just, just be between us.” Dean stammered nervously. 

“Should I think of one to give you?” 

“If you want to?” 

A thoughtful smile washed over Cas’s features. The boy didn’t smile enough, but he looked so sweet when he did. “I think I do.” He mused, making Dean smile. He could think of a thousand things he’d like Cas to call him. 

“I’m sure I’ll love it. Whatever you come up with.” 

_Because I’m pretty sure I love everything about you…_ Dean thought to himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not a fan of Mary on the show but I really love her in this story. :)


	6. Chapter 6

Four months he’d been here yet it shocked him to realize that it felt that no time at all had passed. As he’d packed up his suitcase the night before his scheduled flight to move here, Castiel had imagined living in such a rural state would be dull with time passing so sluggishly he’d go insane. Actually, it’s not how he imagined it, in truth he had no expectations but ‘dull’ was how his mother often talked about this place so he’d trusted her words.

How wrong she had been. 

He couldn’t argue that it was in fact slower here in comparison to his previous home, but the slow pace here, to Castiel, was absolutely refreshing. He never found himself overwhelmed by a need to keep moving, keep going, keep pushing forward here as he did in New York City. Here, the thought of slowing his pace to look at the expansive wheat fields on a drive to the grocery store was something acceptable. Here, spending a day raking leaves followed by planting a few winter plants in the Winchester’s backyard was a day well spent. Here there wasn’t a need to be shuffled between one social gathering to another, forced to speak with others his age until they’d leave him alone to reside in his own thoughts. 

It was nice being in a town where his friends dragged him to the school carnival in the fall and cheered loudly in the stands at football games every few weeks. His friends here too never pushed him to do things that made him feel uncomfortable, much like his nanny Hael did on many occasions. No, here he was in a place where he never felt pressured to be somebody that he wasn’t. No one minded that he sometimes didn’t like to talk when he was in a large crowd, or that he’d struggle with carrying on a conversation sometimes. 

Castiel knew he’d found the place he wanted to stay. He did. He wanted to stay here forever because here, he never felt alone. He had a father who told him that he _wanted_ him here, and a best friend who gave him warm hugs and a sense of family that Castiel had never had before. 

This was his home and he was happy.

* * *

The leaves had long since changed colors and fallen from their branches but the weather was not quite at the time of the year where they were seeing snow. It was chilly enough that coats and scarves were needed however. Castiel held a thermos of hot chocolate between his cold hands as he watched Sam and Dean click the last strand of Christmas lights into place. Though it was still daylight outside, the colorful lights brought an instant holiday cheer to the home. A smile washed over Cas’s face. 

“I know it’s no Rockefeller Center but it does look pretty around here when everyone gets their lights up.” Dean commented as he climbed down the ladder, gently grabbing the thermos from Castiel’s hands a taking a sip for himself. 

“This already looks wonderful.” Cas sighed thoughtfully, the glow of the lights made him want to ask his father if they’d decorate their own home with twinkling lights. “I’m very excited to see the rest of the neighborhood.” 

Castiel looked over to see Dean smiling at him before the green-eyed boy quickly looked away and spoke to his brother. “Hey, Sammy go tell mom to come look.” 

Sam quickly bounded inside to find Mary, leaving Dean and Cas alone on the front lawn for a moment. Enough time for Dean to turn to Cas, scratching the back of his neck—a nervous habit Castiel noted. “Hey… so—uhm. Would you… would you want to go see the Christmas Parade with me in a couple of weeks when it starts up?” 

Castiel knew his face completely lit up. He’d seen the flyer for the parade in the mail a few days ago and had been raving about seeing it to Dean ever since. “Yes. I would. Very much so.” 

“Yeah?” Dean looked elated by Cas’s answer. “Good. Good. Okay.” 

Before Cas could start asking about when they wanted to go and other specifics about the night, Mary bounded out eager to see the lights. 

“Oh wow! It looks incredible boys. I love it so much!” She cooed, admiring the hanging icicle lights and lawn decorations the boys had spent the day perfecting. 

Castiel smiled in Mary’s direction when her beaming smile was turned to him. “It was all Sam and Dean.” He admitted. “After I managed to tangle two sets of lights they told me to just watch.” 

Mary pulled Castiel into a tight hug, rocking him back and fourth with some sort of holiday giddiness. “I’m still happy that you were here to see them put up.” 

Castiel leaned into the hug, having grown accustomed to the affection the Winchester family showed. He often wondered if his life would have been different had he grown up with a mother like Mary and figured it would have been. It may have meant, however, that he never would have met Sam and Dean and that thought left him immensely sad. “I’m happy to be here as well.” 

“What do you say,” Mary spoke, looking at all the boys, “now that I have a day off, we can bake some cookies and watch A Christmas Story?” 

“I’ve never baked before.” Castiel admitted from her side. 

“Perfect. Now’s your chance to learn from the best!” 

He couldn’t help but smile. “I take it you’re the best?” 

“Oh me? No. I make a killer apple pie, but Dean is the one who knows how to make a mean chocolate chip cookie.” 

Cas looked over at his best friend who was blushing scarlet. “You bake?” 

Dean suddenly found the ground around his boots far more interesting than looking Castiel in the eye. He shrugged his shoulders nonchalantly. “Sometimes.” 

Castiel had found over his time spent with the other boy that Dean had a penchant for downplaying the things that he liked. He never fully expressed his love for hobbies or pastimes that made him truly happy. Cas didn’t think it was his place to ask why Dean didn’t talk about how much he loved to watch romantic movies or play country music on his guitar—or that he even knew how to play guitar, but Cas didn’t want to discourage any of the things that made Dean happy. He wanted to make sure Dean felt comfortable enough to keep sharing those things with him. “I’d like to learn, if you wouldn’t mind teaching me.” 

“Yeah?” Dean asked, looking timid. He waited for Castiel to answer before a small smile crossed his face. He nodded his head towards the door. “Alright, come on.” 

As Castiel left that night, after eating far too many cookies (Dean’s secret ingredient being half brown sugar, half honey), he couldn’t help but stop and stare back at the lights for a little while longer. He could see his best friend’s silhouette moving in the living room through the curtain, and he could smell the fresh baked cookies still on his skin. 

He caught himself smiling as something else caught in his chest. Sharp but comforting, radiating outward from a sole point in his chest. The feeling of it all… it was—it was something he just couldn’t explain, so he didn’t try to. Not yet anyway.

* * *

Castiel hurried to answer the front door before Gabriel could get to it. He knew his older brother had taken a liking to Dean and the two of them could banter non-stop back and forth about whatever it was they bantered about. Cas was, however, much too eager to see the parade and didn’t want his older brother keeping him from that. 

“Hey angel, you ready?” Dean asked the moment the door opened to reveal Cas. Castiel smiled at his friend, quickly shutting the door behind himself before his siblings could make an appearance. 

“I am.” 

Cas was smiling. He still couldn’t understand that feeling that pulsed through him when Dean called him angel… or sometimes even ‘sweetheart,’ but Castiel knew he enjoyed the feeling. He’d been pondering for weeks what he could call Dean in return but nothing seemed to fit. Dean had told him that sometimes nicknames were made from things that reminded you of the other person while other times they were terms of endearment to show that you cared. Castiel was determined to find a nickname to call Dean… perhaps hoping that it would provide Dean with the same feeling as hearing is own nicknames did for him. 

As they made the short trip from Castiel’s door to Dean’s mother’s car, Dean looked over at Castiel, assessing. “Where’s your coat?” 

Castiel looked down at himself with confusion. “I’m wearing it?” He was wearing dark jeans, boots, and a blue flannel he’d recently purchased on a shopping trip with his father. Overtop he was wearing his trench coat, as always. 

“How many times have I told you, you’re going to freeze to death in that thing one of these days!”

Castiel rolled his eyes as Dean huffed the passenger door open. 

“It’s perfectly—“ Cas began but was cut off as Dean opened the rear passenger door and pulled out a familiar jacket. 

Come to think of it, it was odd not seeing Dean wearing his military style jacket. In fact, as Castiel assessed Dean for the first time that night, his best friend appeared to have changed a few aspects of his wardrobe. Where there were usually denim jeans were now black ones, where there was always a t-shirt draped by a neutral tone flannel was a grey Henley, and where there was normally an army green jacket was a worn leather one instead. His hair was styled with some sort of product too, instead of left to its own accord as it usually was. 

“I’m not going to let you turn into a popsicle.” Dean spoke, unaware of Castiel’s confusion by the other boy’s change of wardrobe. “So I brought this, since I knew you probably didn’t listen to me about getting a proper coat. I mean seriously, how did you survive in New York?” 

“I had a parka. It just didn’t fit in my suitcase when I moved so I left it.” 

“Well you’re wearing this tonight. Okay?” 

“Yes, Dean.” Castiel complied, slipping off his trench coat and folding it onto the seat. As he slid his arms into the sleeves of Dean’s jacket, he turned back to his friend who was watching him. Likely, to assure Castiel’s warmth was secure. “Is that one new?” 

“Oh this?” Dean seemed shocked by the question, shaking his head to get his thoughts together. He looked down at the jacket Castiel gestured too. “Uh, yeah, well no. It was my dad’s. My mom gave it to me for ton—I mean she uh… she said I could use it since you, uh, you probably would need to borrow one of mine and I uh, I don’t have anything else. It’s nothing special or anything… like it’s not a big deal. ” 

“It looks nice.” Castiel appreciated. He knew it probably meant a lot that Dean’s mother would let him wear his father’s jacket. Perhaps it was an early Christmas gift. 

“Tha—thank you.” Dean said around a cough. “Uh, should we get going?” 

Without hesitation Castiel moved into the passenger seat. “Yes.” He said eagerly, nearly slamming the door on Dean’s hand in his excitement. 

When they arrived, the downtown streets were beginning to fill up with people in lawn chairs and blankets sitting on the curbs of the streets ready for the parade. Dean pulled out two camping chairs from the trunk of the car and two blankets as well before the two of them attempted to find a decent viewing spot. 

With it being the opening night of the parade, Castiel knew the crowd would be large but tonight that fact didn’t make him nervous. In fact, whenever he had Dean by his side he felt more grounded in a crowded area. He followed closely behind Dean as the other boy tried to steer them away from the main hub of people mostly congregated around the restaurants and cafes. They found a spot in front of a small hardware store to set up their seats, behind a family of small children who were all sharing a blanket on the curb. 

Castiel’s excitement was still thrumming through his veins. 

He’d seen parades before… Hael had once taken him to see the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day parade, but this felt more exciting to him. A festival of lights, in a town he was happy in, next to his favorite person; it was special. It felt like a special night. 

When the lights of the downtown buildings turned off for the event, Castiel gripped Dean’s forearm in his giddiness. He didn’t bother letting go. 

Slowly but surely the parade began, pickup trucks decorated with lights, pulling homemade parade floats, groups of students and dancers walking along in light-up costumes all strolled down the streets singing or dancing a long to holiday music. The kids in front of them sang along to every holiday tune, even Dean sat beside him, humming long to the songs. Castiel wished he knew more of them in order to join in on the fun, but still his heart was bursting with how magical it all felt. 

“Do you like it here?” Dean suddenly asked, about fifteen minutes into the show. 

Castiel nodded with a huge grin. “The lights really are beautiful.” 

“I meant here, here.” Dean clarified, turning away from the street of lights to look at Cas. “Do you like it here in this town? Do you like living here?” 

“Yes.” The answer was as simple as breathing. 

“Do you think you could stay here? Or will you be move away after graduation?” 

There was sometime in Dean’s look that made Castiel sad. Was Dean worried about something? Was he planning to move away? 

“What do you plan to do?” Castiel asked, deflecting from Dean’s question. 

“Me?” 

“Yes.” 

Although the parade was still in full affect, Dean held Castiel’s full attention. Until this moment Cas hadn’t realized that he didn’t know what Dean planned to do in only a few short months. Would Dean even be around to be his friend anymore? What would Castiel do if Dean moved away? 

“Well my mom says I _have_ to go to school so if I get enough financial aide I’m going to go to the University here. I think I wanna get a business degree too ‘cause me, Jo, and Benny have always talked about opening up our own hangout spot.” 

Sometime loosened in Cas’s chest at Dean’s words but there was still something causing a twisting feeling in his stomach. “Do you ever plan to move away from here?” 

“Honestly?” Cas nodded, needing to know the answer. “No. No, I don’t. Maybe that makes me weird because everyone here always talks about how they can’t wait to get away but I just never understood that, you know?” 

Dean turned more fully towards Cas and placed his hand overtop the one Cas had resting on Dean’s forearm. Castiel didn’t know if Dean was conscious of the touch. 

“So many people have these big dreams of going to these big cities and working in these big companies and having big houses and it’s just… it’s not for me.” Dean continued. It felt like he’d been holding these words in for a long time and needed to get them out with how passionate Dean’s eyes shown. “I just want to settle down here, build a small business from the ground up, and pay off my mom’s house someday. And maybe… maybe if I’m lucky I’ll get to raise a few kids with the person I love and I’ll get to coach their little league team and be a part of the freaking PTO. I don’t know….” 

He pulled back again, looking back towards the parade in front of them but his hand didn’t leave the spot overtop Cas’s. “I just dream of a simple life where I can settle down and be surrounded by the people I love.” 

“I think that sounds lovely.” Castiel admitted. 

It really did. 

Nothing else was said as they continued to watch the parade. They’d piled both of the blankets overtop them as the chill started to sink in when the wind began to pick up but that didn’t stop either one of them from enjoying the lights and music. Castiel was almost mournful when the parade inevitably came to an end, but he was thankful he’d had the thought to record a few videos of some of his favorite parts. He knew he’d be watching them over and over for days to come, just remembering how joyous the songs and lights made him feel. 

The walk back to the car took longer than the walk in as the crowds all worked their ways towards the parking lots. With each step he took Castiel still didn’t want to leave. He wanted the night to last longer, he wanted the magic to keep going. But as Dean slammed the trunk shut, Castiel’s suggestion to stay a little longer died on his tongue. Maybe Dean was tired. Perhaps it was time to go. 

“You want to get some hot chocolate before we go home?” Dean asked suddenly, turning to Castiel with a smile. 

“Yes, please.” Castiel answered immediately. 

They headed in the opposite direction of the foot traffic, Dean keeping a steady hand on Cas’s back as people pushed around them. It took only a few short minutes to arrive in front of a coffee shop named Cards & Coffee, advertising their great brews and tarot card readings. It was a strange combination but Castiel had seen stranger in New York. 

There were quite a few people in line when they walked in, obviously having the same idea as Dean and Castiel or just wanting to wait out some of the traffic. Steadily the line inched forward. Castiel focused on the menu on the back wall but he could see hear people laughing and talking happily around the crowded room. He could still feel the press of Dean’s hand on his back and smell the familiar scent of Dean on the jacket he wore. 

He could imagine himself remembering this night for a long time to come. 

“What can I get for you two?” The kind woman asked from the counter. Castiel gazed down to see her name Patience written on a nametag. 

“Know what you want, angel?” Dean asked gently, smiling over at Cas. 

“Yes.” 

That moment Patience giggled cheerfully, across from them. Both boys looked at her only to see her eyes trail up and above their heads to reveal a red-ribbon wrapped bunch of mistletoe hanging from the rafter. She smiled at Dean with a look that Castiel couldn’t quite decipher at the moment. 

“Who put that there?” Dean’s cheeks looked to be warming up—it was warmer in the building than outside Castiel noted. He also noticed when Dean’s hand suddenly moved away from his back. 

“My grandmother, she owns the place.” Patience answered plainly. 

“Funny.” 

“I think it’s sweet.” 

Castiel was confused why they were still currently talking about the plant. He was more confused by its placement. He’d seen enough holiday movies growing up to know the significance of the mistletoe though he’d never actually seen someone hang them up. “Why’d you hang mistletoe above the cash register, isn’t it customary to place it in a doorway?” 

The girl looked at Castiel and shrugged, “Grandma says that people are always too busy rushing in and out of places, who would notice a mistletoe in the doorway? So she placed it where people might have a shot at noticing, or at the very least be caught under.” 

“Looks like we were caught.” Dean replied blankly. He almost sounded nervous but Castiel didn’t understand why. “Anyway, can we get one peppermint hot chocolate and one cinnamon hot chocolate, extra whip and extra cinnamon?” 

Castiel saw Patience give Dean a confused look but fell back into a professional role. 

“Name?” 

“Dean.” 

“That’ll be out shortly, Dean.” 

“Thanks.” Dean replied after paying for the two drinks. He fidgeted a moment at the counter after stowing his wallet and Castiel was about to ask what was wrong but didn’t have a chance. 

“Cas?” 

“Yes?” 

Dean quickly ducked in and pressed his lips against Cas’s cheek, too quick for Castiel to even blink. Before Castiel could even register what happened Dean walked away quickly, not leaving Castiel a chance to say anything. He hazarded a glance over to Patience to see her wink at him quickly before turning to speak with her next customer. 

It definitely was warmer in the coffee shop now, but Castiel couldn’t entirely equate that with how red hot his cheeks suddenly felt. 

When Cas approached Dean everything was normal. They continue chatting away, raving about how good the hot chocolate was (and getting a second cup each) before finally deciding it was time to head home. Cas couldn’t help but wonder why he could still feel the press of Dean’s lips against his cheek even as they drove home. 

He walked through his front door after Dean dropped him off, hugging Cas tightly at the doorstep before heading back to his car. Castiel had had a truly great night. He was now certain he would remember it for a long time. He knew he wanted to journal about it later, but first he knew Hannah would want to hear about the parade, she’d asked him to tell her about how the night went before he left that afternoon. He set out to find her. 

“Hey Cassie, how was your date?” Gabriel asked from the living room couch. He had his feet propped up on the coffee table with a bowl of popcorn in his lap and four boxes of candy sitting at his sides. 

Since they’d promised to start coming around more often, Gabriel and Hannah had begun staying over every other weekend even coming over a few nights in the week just to share a family dinner. Even Anna tagged a long every so often and acted almost pleasant around the family. Castiel could see sometime shift in his father’s eyes recently and he knew that Chuck was happy to have his family coming around again. 

It makes Castiel wonder if his father ever felt as lonely as he had in New York and if his father now, too, was finally feeling like he had a place he belonged. Castiel hoped so. His father was a good guy. He wanted him to be happy. 

Cas looked over at Gabriel again, his thoughts having drifted away. “My what?” He asked. 

“Your date with Deano? How was it?” 

He blinked a few times, not sure if he was hearing that correctly. A date? Did Gabriel just ask if he went on a date? With Dean? “It—it wasn’t a date. But it was a nice time.” 

“Oh good! Want to watch Wedding Crashers with me? It started like ten minutes ago.” 

“Oh, thank you, but not tonight. I’m quite tired.” Castiel lied. In truth he wanted to find Hannah as soon as he could and ask her a few questions. 

“Okay, sleep tight Cassie.” 

“Thank you Gabriel.” 

_A date? Why had Gabriel asked how his date went? Why had he thought it was a date?_ Castiel wondered as he made his way up the stairs. 

Was it a date? How was he supposed to know the answer to his own question? He’d never been in a situation that he’d been left to ponder what it meant to spend time with another. Did he even want it to be a date? 

Dates usually meant that one was trying to get to know another in order to pursue a romantic relationship. He ascertained that he already knew Dean fairly well but yet, he still had gotten to know him a little better because of the night. That left him with the next question, was he trying to pursue a romantic relationship with Dean Winchester? The thought made his heartbeat quicken in the same way it had when Dean had kissed his cheek under the mistletoe. 

What would it feel like to have Dean kiss his cheek more? To kiss him on the mouth? Would holding hands make his heart warm the same way the touch of Dean’s hand to his back did? Would he like spending more quiet nights with Dean? Calling him his boyfriend? 

Castiel noticed then that he still wore the jacket Dean had lent him earlier. He’d even forgotten his own coat in Dean’s car. Subtly, or not so subtly, he pulled it tighter against himself and breathed in the familiar smell of Dean’s soap and cologne. He had his answer. 

Yes. The answer was unyieldingly yes. He wanted to be more than just a friend to Dean. 

But was that what Dean wanted as well? 

Castiel opened the first door on his left only to discover that the room was empty. He closed it behind himself and took a few more steps down the hall. He peered his head into Anna’s open door, finding her on her bed watching sometime on her laptop. She was unaccompanied. Where was Hannah? His red-headed sister locked eyes with him immediately, looking suspicious—or maybe that was just her face, Castiel was still trying to figure her out. He didn’t want to presume that just because she’d not said anything rude to him in over a month that everything was smoothed over, so he stepped out of her room with a kind, “I apologize.” 

“Castiel?” He heard called from Anna’s room as he walked down the hall to his own bedroom. He took a few steps backwards and looked back in the room. 

“Yes?” 

“Looking for something?” 

“Someone.” He corrected politely. “Have you seen Hannah?” 

Anna nodded. “She went to a movie with one of her friends from down here.” 

“Alright, thank you.” 

Before he could turn to go, Anna spoke again. “Castiel, wait.” 

“Yes?” 

“Can I—can I help with something?” 

He pondered the question for a moment. Could Anna help? “I wouldn’t want to bother you. I’ll wait until Hannah gets home.” 

“Hey, I uh—I know I’ve been… I know I’m a bitch. I know I’ve been awful to you but I’ve recently realized how wrong I was. I know it doesn’t make it all go away and I don’t even want you to forgive me for the things I’ve said to you but I do want to try and move forward. Attempt to get to know each other. If you’re interested?” 

Castiel honestly didn’t know. The years of being ignored by her still hurt and the words she’d said to him still hurt but she’d just admitted that she knew she was wrong. And knowing that she wasn’t asking for his forgiveness, something he didn’t feel he was able to give at the moment… it made it easier for him to consider her suggestion. He wanted to get along with his siblings, he wanted to have relationships with them even though he knew it would be unlikely to really get to know Michael, Lucas, or Raphael he still had three here that he could get to know and Anna was one of them. 

That led him to saying, “Okay. Lets get to know each other.” 

“Can we start by me helping with whatever you were looking for Hannah for?” 

“Okay.” He unsurely set himself down on her rolling chair at her desk, turning to face her on her bed. 

Anna pulled herself into an upright position, closing her laptop and setting it aside. “What’s up?” 

“I went to see the parade of lights downtown tonight, and when I got home Gabriel asked how my date was and I’m left wondering if the night I had out with Dean was actually a date.” 

Anna’s face quickly screwed up into confusion. “Oh.” 

Suddenly he felt very stupid. Why would he even be asking this question? Of course it wasn’t a date. It was just a night out with his best friend. Why was he even bringing this up to Anna? He pulled back in the chair, prepared to leave. “I’m sorry. It’s nothing.” 

“No. No, I just didn’t think that’s what this could be about. I can help.” Anna spoke quickly, not letting Castiel moved from his spot. 

“You can?” 

“Yeah, I’ve actually been there before.” She shrugged a little. “There was this guy I liked before and I thought we were going on dates but he just thought we were friends. So I’ve been there.” 

“So you think this wasn’t a date?” Castiel asked, trying to clarify if he’d understood what she’d said correctly. 

“I’m not sure. Let’s start with some basics about everything okay? Like, did he ask you by saying ‘Will you go on a date with me?’” 

“He did not.” 

“Did he pay for you?” 

Castiel nodded along with his answer. “We got hot cocoa at the end of the night and he did pay for that.” 

“Did he try to hold your hand?” 

This answer was harder to find. Dean’s hand had rested on his own but that didn’t exactly constitute as handholding. He didn’t want to clarify with his sister what that gesture was or was not though, since he didn’t want her to judge him from his lack of knowledge of these things so he answered with a weak, “No.” 

“Did he kiss you?” 

Cas’s heartbeat picked up with that question. “There was mistletoe at the coffee shop and he kissed me on the cheek when the barista pointed it out.” 

“Did he walk you to the door when you got home?” 

“Yes.” 

There was a half smile on Anna’s face as she took in all of Castiel’s information. “Hmm. Okay.” 

“So what do you think?” 

She pulled her legs under herself as she formed her answer. “I don’t think it _was_ a date but I think he may have _wanted_ it to be one. It was an almost date I’d say.” 

“I’m sorry. That doesn’t make sense to me.” 

“I know, I’m sorry.” Castiel watched as she picked at the corner of her blanket. “It’s just that it sounds like it had parts that I’d consider a date but others that make me wonder if he’s shy or if he isn’t actually interested.” 

“So it’s more than likely not a date?” 

He didn’t want to admit that the thought left him feeling disappointed, but by the frown on Anna’s face he could tell she already knew what he was feeling. He appreciated when she tried to offer him a kind smile. “I think it’s safer to say it isn’t for now until you know if he has feelings for you or not.” 

“Thank you.” 

“Don’t mention it.” 

Castiel stood up to leave, stopping at the door to bid Anna goodnight. 

“Night, Castiel. Thanks for talking to me about this.” 

As he settled into bed that night, Castiel couldn’t stop replaying the events of the night in his mind. The night had felt like a dream and he honestly couldn’t imagine it feeling that way were it not Dean Winchester by his side. Had those feelings always been there? 

He’d never actually had feelings for someone before. He didn’t think he was capable of it but to be fair he’d never been given the chance to get close enough to someone. 

He worried that maybe he was muddling friendship feelings with romantic ones but when he thought of his feelings towards Sam, Charlie, Jo, Benny, Ash, or even Kevin none of those feelings remotely compared to the way Castiel always felt excited to see Dean every day. They didn’t come close to the way Dean made him calm down when he was overwhelmed or how he could make Castiel smile when he was feeling overworked. Something about Dean anchored him and made him feel… normal. 

Was this love?

* * *

Castiel held his feelings close to his chest, not certain that revealing them to anyone would be wise. He didn’t want his revelation to get back to Dean and make the other boy uncomfortable. He’d thought long and hard about his talk with Anna and figured that the night had definitely not been a date and that Dean did not feel anything more than loyal friendship towards Cas, and that was perfectly acceptable. 

Castiel would have Dean in his life any way he could have him. He counted himself lucky that he got to be a part of Dean’s life in return. Being welcomed into their household and deemed an ‘honorary Winchester’ made Castiel more emotional than he thought appropriate but that couldn’t be helped. Sam, Mary, and Dean had just been so good to him since day one. Hoping he could show his appreciation to them, he’d been working for weeks to make the best Christmas gifts for them that he could. 

In fact, he was currently at the park by his house picking a few last minute flowers for the wind chime he was making Mary. When he was satisfied with his pickings he made his way back towards his home, breathing in the crisp cool air of winter. The news forecast said that they could be expecting a white Christmas this year—the thought made him smile, remembering how Dean had gotten excited over the prospect of making snowmen and snow angels together. 

The smile from Castiel’s face faded as he saw an unfamiliar black Jaguar sedan parked in his driveway with a very familiar woman standing on his front porch. 

“Hello sweetheart. I’ve missed you.” Naomi said with an unemotional smile. “Are you ready to go home?” 

“I’m already home. This is my home now.” Castiel responded immediately, doing his best to not crush the flowers in his hands. His heart was beating in this throat and he felt a little lightheaded. 

“No sweetie, I mean back with me to your real home.” 

“You told me I wasn’t welcome there anymore.” 

“No I didn’t.” Naomi snapped, making Cas flinch. 

“Yes you did.” He insisted. He remembered that conversation. It’d been after he’d embarrassed her at a dinner party by refusing to socialize with her friend’s rude son. “You said as long as I wasn’t normal you didn’t want me in your home anymore.” 

“You misinterpreted me Castiel. I meant that I wanted you to experience a more normal lifestyle outside of the city.” 

“No, you said you couldn’t deal with my intricacies anymore and that having a child with special needs was a burden you couldn’t bear.” 

At the time it hadn’t hurt. He’d known he was different and he didn’t blame his mother for being unable to deal with him anymore. He had tried but he’d thought then that he hadn’t tried hard enough to be a normal kid. It wasn’t until moving here and confessing these things to Dean that he’d learned how volatile his mother really had been. In her own way Castiel was certain she cared for him, but she wasn’t anything at all like a mother should be. She wasn’t warm or nurturing like Mary Winchester. She was better off being apart from him. 

“Castiel, you’re putting words in my mouth, those which are blasphemous and untrue.” 

“I am merely reciting what you’ve said to me.” Castiel insisted, hoping that she’d leave soon. 

“Well enough of that.” She snapped impatiently. “Go pack your belongings; you’re coming home with me.” 

His heart was beating too quickly, he didn’t know if he could hold himself up much longer but he had to stand his ground. He couldn’t go back there with her. “I don’t want to.” 

“Did I ask? Pack your things Castiel and get in the car.” 

“No.” He asserted with a shaky voice. 

“Excuse me?” 

“I’m not coming with you. I like it here.” He knew he was pleading like a child. His mother wouldn’t like that. 

“I think you’re failing to understand what I am saying Castiel. I am your mother and you will do as I say. Go get your belongings and let’s go.” 

His lip trembled. He looked down towards the ground to try and will the tears away… but when he did he saw that he’d crushed the flowers in his clenched palms. He moved towards the porch, keeping as much space between himself and his mother as possible. 

“I’m going to go get father and you can discuss this with him.” 

“Castiel your father doesn’t care for you.” Naomi scoffed. “He’ll be glad to be rid of you, so don’t bother asking him. Let’s go.” 

That… that hurt more than Castiel ever expected it to. In the past four months he’d finally started to get to know his father. He knew how the man claimed he couldn’t survive without at least three cups of coffee in the morning and how he could not stand walking around the house without his socks on. He’d learned that his father found inspiration for his writing from running and that he’d been sober for fifteen years now. Though Castiel had yet to hear his father say that he loved him, some part of him had started to believe that maybe he did. 

Hearing his mother crush that so callously made real tears fall from his eyes. 

“Get the hell off my property Naomi.” 

The voice made Castiel jump. He looked up to see his father standing in the doorway, his blue eyes wild and angry—his hands clenched into fists at his sides. 

“Well hello Charles.” 

“I mean it. You need to leave. What gives you the right to come to my home and try and take away my son? What gives you the right to say that I don’t care about my child? Castiel isn’t going anywhere. Do you hear me?” 

Castiel looked frantically between his parents. His mother looked angrier than he’d ever seen her. “Like you actually care where your son winds up.” 

“I love my son!” 

“Yeah? Then where were you all his life?” 

“Where was I?” Chuck’s voice carried so loudly Castiel was certain the neighbors would hear. “Don’t you _dare_ insinuate that I didn’t try to be a part of his life Naomi!”

“Just face it Charles, you’re not cut out for father material. It’s why none of your other kids want anything to do with you.” 

When his father looked at him, immediately Chuck’s features softened. He was still angry but Castiel knew immediately that none of the anger was directed at him. “Castiel, buddy, could you go inside please? Your mother and I need to have a talk.” 

Castiel’s heart was racing but he nodded his affirmation. On unsteady feet he walked inside, not sure if he could even make it to the living room. What was going to happen? He’d never known his mother to not get her way—a snake he’d heard her called before by one of her friends, they’d said it like it was a good thing but now Castiel was starting to understand. She always found a way to get what she wanted. 

But why did she want him to go back now? He’d just gotten comfortable. 

Christmas was about to come up… what was he going to do? 

He didn’t want to believe that his father would make him go… but what if Naomi got him to see just how broken Castiel really was? He was always a disappointment to his mother… what if she made his father see him in the same night. What if his father made him go back with her? What if she made him go tonight and he never got a chance to say goodbye to his friends? What if he never got say goodbye to Dean? 

He knew he shouldn’t eavesdrop but he needed to hear what they were saying. He needed to know if he had to run because he would. He’d run as far and as fast as he could the minute his father said he had to go because if he was being forced to leave he’d at least find a way to see Dean one last time. At least Dean would want him. 

Wouldn’t he?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I didn't know how to fit this into this chapter but I do just want to give a brief insight to Anna's sudden change. After the chapter that made everyone hate her, she went home ranting and raving to her mother about the whole thing. Now, their mother is never going to forgive Chuck for everything that happened but she never intended for her hurt over the whole ordeal to turn her children so bitter towards their father. She definitely never intended for them to isolate their own half-brother. So, realizing after all these years just what she's done she sat down and had a talk with Anna explaining everything that happened (including Naomi's personality) and explained to Anna that she couldn't put the blame of her and Chuck's failed marriage on Castiel's shoulder. She even admitted to always thinking Cas was a sweet kid based on the stories Hannah and Gabriel would tell about him. It made Anna see that maybe things weren't as black and white as she thought and that maybe Castiel deserved a little more kindess from her. 
> 
> It doesn't mean I even forgive her but it's a start. 
> 
> Now... you all KNOW Dean meant for that to be a date but was a giant chicken shit about it all. But my baby was trying!! 
> 
> Oh, and what's your first impression of Naomi? Do you hate her too? I hope to explain her/Chuck's backstory but it might end up in one of these notes if I can't work it into the story. 
> 
> By the way I believe there will be 2-3 more chapters before I wrap this up. 
> 
> Let me know what you think of this one and your hopes for the future of this fic! <3 
> 
> I love you all!


	7. Chapter 7

“What do you think you’re doing?” 

Castiel stood with his back pressed to the archway between the hallway and living room. He’d left the front door open so the only thing separating himself from his parents was the screen door. He could see his father’s back through the screen; it looked as if Chuck were blocking the front door from Naomi. 

“I’m taking my son back home.” He heard his mother answer. Her tone was final. It left Castiel with a tight feeling in his chest. 

“No, you’re not. You haven’t so much as called him in the time that he’s been here. What could possibly be the reason you want him back now?” 

“Stop pretending like you care.” 

“Don’t!” His father’s voice was louder than he’d ever heard it before. “Don’t you dare say shit like that! I spent years begging you to let me see him! I even got court orders to allow me time with him but you still managed to work around the system so that I could only see him on your time.”

Was that true? Did his father want to see him more growing up? Castiel could remember the times he’d been allowed to visit with his father. More often than not Chuck came out to New York and spent one weekend with him a month, or on the very rare occasion would take Castiel back here for the weekend to see his brothers and sisters. Now having had months to get to know the man, the sad, quiet person Castiel had just associated with his father made more sense—he’d wanted to see Castiel more but couldn’t. 

Why had his mother prevented Chuck from being a part of his life? 

“I did no such thing.” He heard his mother lie. 

“Bullshit!” His father shouted back. “So let me get this through to you Naomi: if you so much as think Castiel is walking out of this house against his own will, I will drag your ass back to court. After seeing just how stifled and withdrawn he’d been from living with you his whole life, I don’t think any court would disagree that he should be in _my_ care.” 

He could hear the venom in his mother’s voice. “Are you really threatening me?”

Chuck must have known he would get nowhere with Naomi if he kept proceeding how he was. Castiel heard the shift in his voice turn from hostile to negotiable. “Look, Castiel has friends here, he’s doing incredibly in school, and he’s _happy_ here. Why do you want to take that from him?”

“You think him living in Hicksville is good for him?” His mother wasn’t one to relax easily. She’d drive into any nerve people had until she got her way. Castiel wasn’t surprise to hear her do that with his father. “What, do you want him to follow in his father’s footsteps? Get his high school girlfriend pregnant too so that he can live a sad, pathetic life wishing he could have done more with it?” 

Anger bubbled inside of Castiel. He wanted so badly to run out there and yell at his mother for saying such hurtful things to his father. Chuck was a good man. He listed to Castiel’s stories of his day, Chuck helped with Cas’s school work by editing all of his essays, he also talked animatedly about the shows he enjoyed and the ideas for future stories he had, he always had a smile on his face whenever he saw Castiel and his siblings… and Cas could hear him every single week making a phone call to all of his children just to check in. He was a good dad and Castiel hated his mother for thinking otherwise!

“I can’t imagine what it’s like to be as selfish as you. You just don’t get it. Your son is happy here, Naomi. He smiles all the time now, he talks about his friends every single day when he gets home from school to the point where I can’t even get a word in—and now, now there are _always_ people over here with him. He’s bringing his siblings around more too. Castiel has a family here and people he cares about, people who want him to stay. What gives you the right to whisk him back to a life he didn’t like? Is your reputation failing that badly that you’d put your own child through misery again after how far he’s come? Don’t you care about him at all?”

“Of course I do.” He heard his mother say, her voice devoid of much emotion. 

“Then get back in that car and leave. If he wants to go back with you, then allow him to make that decision.” 

“Let me speak to him.” 

“I’ll let him decide if he wants to speak with you or not.” 

“Nonsense—“ 

“You’re not entering my home without my permission so I think it’s best if you stay out here until Castiel gives his consent to speak with you. You cross this threshold before that and I will have the police here in under five minutes, do you understand?” 

Castiel sucked in a breath. He didn’t think he wanted to speak with his mother but he knew if he didn’t now he might have to later. It was best to get it over with. He waited for his father to step inside, not bothering to pretend like he hadn’t been listening. 

“You heard all that?” Chuck asked, looking equal parts worried and guilty. 

“You really don’t want me to go?” Is all Castiel thought to say. 

“Never. This is your home.” Chuck insisted. Worry lines were deeply imprinted on his face. “I’ll understand if you choose to go back with her, but my door will always be open to you. You’ll always have a bed here and a place to stay, and if you do choose to go back just know I will call you every single day okay? I’d miss you too much.” 

Castiel couldn’t comprehend the emotions surging through him so he just flung himself at his father and held on tight.

“I love you, buddy. I hope you know that. I love you so much.” Castiel could only clutch tighter as the tears fell. Not once in his whole life had he heard those words directed to him so this moment felt like a dream. His heart was so happy but so heavy at the same time, happy to finally have this but sad to have been without it for so long. 

“I love you too… dad.” 

It felt right finally saying it, both that he loved his father and to call him ‘Dad.’ He knew it was the right thing to say when he heard his dad sniffle a little over his shoulder. 

They hugged for a little while longer before the incessant tapping of his mother’s shoe from the front door became too much for both Chuck and Castiel to bear. Chuck pulled back and smiled sweetly. “I’ll be in the kitchen if you need me, okay?” 

“Okay.” 

Castiel hesitantly walked to the screen door and opened it. “Let’s go inside.” 

He heard his mother’s heals against the wooden flooring trailing behind him. Not really knowing what to expect from her, he sat down on the recliner to keep some semblance of distance between them. His mother sat down on the couch, pushing the pillows and blankets that had been left undone for most of the weekend aside. 

“You want to talk to me?” 

“Of course I wanted to speak with you. You’re my son and it only makes sense that we have a civilized discussion about you options. And, Castiel you really should come back with me. Your friends miss you.” 

Castiel fought the urge to roll his eyes. “I didn’t have any friends.” 

“Of course you did. Zachariah and Uriel—“ 

“They weren’t my friends.” He said, cutting his mother off. Even the names of those two boys made him grimace. 

“Of course they were.” 

“They called me repulsive names and ignored my presence most of the time.” 

“That’s just how boys are.” 

“No it isn’t.” Castiel argued. How could she lie to him so plainly? “Dean and Sam don’t treat me like that. Nor do Benny, Ash, or Kevin.” 

“Anyway!” Naomi sounded irritated. Castiel presumed this to be from her fighting a losing battle—something he’d never known her to do. As if she could sense his thoughts, his mother shifted her persona into a forced softness he’d known all his life. The same fake kindness she always used when she’d tell him why she couldn’t attend his school plays or take him to a movie. “As I was saying, you’re sorely missed at home. Additionally, I’ve pulled some strings and gotten you an in at both Brown and Columbia. Of course you’ll have to submit an application for formalities but you get to pick which of them you’d rather attend. Isn’t that wonderful?” 

His mind flashed to a time where he’d spew rehearsed answers to acquaintances about where he’d like to study and in what field—about what his ten-year plan was and his qualifications to get there. That past self had both Brown and Columbia on his radar, a degree in accounting in his future, and a plan to work up through the ranks until he was able to get onto Wall Street. None of it, none of it was what he’d wanted. None of it felt like him but he’d been the dutiful son and followed his mother’s guidance. Maybe in some hidden way she did care for him, loved him perhaps, but her vision of his future was far different than what he’d come up for himself. 

“That’s very courteous of you, truly, but I’ll have to decline.” 

The features of her face hardened and her eyes narrowed in contempt. “Excuse me?” 

“I’ll be attending the university here.” Castiel stated plainly though his insides were shrinking back at act of defying his mother. 

“Castiel, you have your pick of two of the most prestigious schools in our country and you’re going to throw that away for some public university with hardly a reputation to precede it?” 

“I am.” 

“And then what?” Steadily her voice rose. “What exactly is your goal afterwards? What do you expect to do with a degree from a no-name school?” 

What exactly did he plan to do? He couldn’t say with certainty. Living here, in this place, it made him realize that he didn’t need to have a formal plan. He didn’t need to follow an exact path carefully lain out for him since birth. Instead he was allowed to, blissfully, follow what he desired and Castiel knew with certainty what that desire was. Words he’d heard so recently that had resonated so soundly in his soul he knew it was the only life he could want: 

“Live a simple life where I can settle down and be surrounded by the people I love.”

For a long moment, his mother said nothing. She blinked at him once, twice, three times before turning her face away with a disgusted sound. “I thought I’d raised you smarter than this.” 

“I apologize for being a disappointment. However, I enjoy it here and I’d like to stay.” 

Before his mother could prepare a retort, heavy feet were suddenly bounding down the hallway from the front door and into the entrance of the living room. Castiel turned towards the sound, unable to get a word out before the intruder was speaking. 

“You can’t take him with you.” 

“Dean?” Castiel’s eyes grew wide seeing the sight of a winded, huffing, Dean in his living room. “What are you doing here?” 

“Hannah called me and told me your mother was here to take you back.” He was panting through the words as if he’d just sprinted. “I came as soon as I hung up.” 

Castiel stared at the other man trying to process what he’d just said. He’d come all this way because Hannah had called? Why had Hannah called him? How had Hannah known—oh! He’d all but forgotten that his brother and sisters were here for the weekend. They must have heard the entire exchange happen! That would explain why the coffee table was filled with candy boxes and other snacks… Gabriel probably ran out of the room to not be caught eavesdropping and told Hannah and Anna what was happening. 

Then they’d called Dean who came over immediately. But why would Dean run here? 

“Who is this?” Naomi asked sharply, pulling Castiel out of his thoughts. He whipped his head back to his mother’s direction. 

“Mother, this is my best friend, Dean Winchester.” 

Dean didn’t bother with an introduction. He just stood in the archway looking upset and started rambling. “Please—please don’t take him back to New York. Cas belongs here. This is his home now.” 

“So he’s told me.” 

“Plus, he’s captain of the Speech and Debate team and they have a big competition in about a month that Castiel is shoo-in to win. And he’s already been working on the second semester science project and it isn’t even due until May but he’s made so much progress on it already. And also, he doesn’t know it yet and I don’t want to spoil it but I got him a Christmas present that won’t be useful until March and if he’s in New York he wont be able to enjoy it. And—and—and we planted forget-me-nots that are suppose to bloom in the spring and he has to be around to see those!” 

“I see.” Naomi remarked, unimpressed. She’d not even looked Dean in the eye. “Thank you for taking the time to make such an eloquent speech, but Castiel has already made up his mind on where he’d like to be.” 

“He has?” Dean’s eyes were fearful as he looked at Cas. “You have?” 

“I have.” Castiel watched as Dean’s face fell, but he didn’t understand. Didn’t Dean know how much Castiel loved living here? “I’m staying.” 

“You are?” 

“Of course I am.” 

A smile more radiant than Castiel had ever had the privilege to see before graced Dean’s features. The other boy looked as if he couldn’t believe what Castiel said to be true. 

“Good.” Dean near-whispered. 

Castiel felt himself staring at Dean, longer than what he figured was ‘acceptable’ but something about the way Dean looked gladdened with Castiel’s response made him unable to look away. That is until his mother interrupted him. 

“Last chance Castiel. I won’t come back here to get you a second time.” 

He knew her words were _supposed_ to stir up some sort of guilt or discontent inside him, but instead he found the prospect of his mother’s absence a great relief. “Goodbye, Mother. Have a safe journey home.” 

“You’re making a mistake.” 

“I’m not though. I’m making the best choice.”

“You’ll regret this someday. Just wait. A few years down the road you’re going to realize that you threw your life away for _nothing.”_ Cas watched as her eyes traveled towards Dean with those last few words. 

“Goodbye, Mother.” 

“Don’t come running back to me when you realize—“

“I believe my son just told you goodbye.” Chuck had the most perfect timing Castiel thought. “I think it’s best you leave at once.” 

Needing to have the last word, Naomi turned her nose up at Cas’s father and walked towards the front door. Over her shoulder she spat out, “It’s a pity I never told him about our history. I’m sure he wouldn’t look at you with such rose colored glasses if he knew the type of man you really are.” 

“I hold no secrets from him or any of my children. If he wishes to know my past, all he has to do is ask.” 

“Goodbye, Charles.” Naomi said once she’d cross the threshold. Chuck didn’t even both with speaking before slamming the door shut and locking it. 

He turned back towards Cas and Dean with a mix of emotions on his face but quickly morphed them into a smile and asked, “Whose hungry?” 

“Me!” Came a voice from the stairwell where Gabriel, Hannah, and Anna all sat at the top with half-guilty looks. 

“I’ll order pizza then.” Chuck declared before walking towards the kitchen. 

Castiel chanced a glance to his siblings to see them quickly go back up the stairs, leaving Castiel with Dean in the hallway. He didn’t know what to say at first so he just stood there, looking at Dean and wondering how he’d managed to get a best friend such as the one before him. 

“You came all the way over here to stop my mother from taking me back to New York?” 

Dean looked at Castiel curiously. “Of course I did.” 

“I mean enough to you that you want me to stay?” 

“Of course you do! I lo—I need you Cas. You’re my best friend.” 

Cas braved a few steps forward, opening his arms in what he hoped was a gesture of invitation. Within a beat Dean stepped forward and pulled Castiel into a hug. 

“I need you too.” Castiel said into the embrace. 

“Did you consider it? Going back with her?” Dean asked, sounding almost shy about it. 

Castiel didn’t release the embrace, not yet. “Not even for a second.” He answered simply. 

“Good.”


	8. Chapter 8

Before he knew it, it was Christmas morning and he was waking up to a slew of text messages, all of which brought a broad smile to Castiel’s face. 

**Jo (6:02):** Merry Christmas everybody! 

**Kevin (6:05):** My phone was on loud. I hate you. But Merry Christmas everyone! 

**Ash (6:30):** Merry Christmas Amigos!

**Sam (6:45):** Merry Christmas :) 

No one else had responded to the group message so Castiel quickly checked his other unread messages. 

**Hannah (7:11):** Merry Christmas Castiel. I’ll see you around four! 

**Gabriel (7:44):** Merry Christmas Cassie! 

There were five unread messages from Dean as well. 

**Dean (7:56):** Merry Christmas angel. mom says merry christmas too 

**Dean (7:56):** do you think you can still come over tonight? We’ll save you some leftovers and some cookies and pie 

**Dean (7:58):** but if you cant do you think I could come over tomorrow morning 

**Dean (8:00):** I cant wait to give you your present.

**Dean (8:01):** I just realized youre probably still sleeping so I’ll stop bugging you. I hope I get to see you later. 

There was a red heart emoticon tacked to the end of the last text that made Castiel smile. Dean had always been fond of using emojis in his messages but recently he’d been adding the red heart to the end of his ones that bid farewell or ended the conversation for the day. Almost like how they always hugged before they parted ways. 

Before he crawled out of bed he sent one text message in return. 

_To Dean (8:11):_ Merry Christmas, Dean. I hope to see you tonight as well. I’ll ask my dad and make sure he is still okay with it. Have a lovely day and tell Sam and Mary that I say Merry Christmas to them as well. 

He added a red heart to the end of his message.

After sending his message, Castiel slipped out of his bed in order to follow the delicious smell coming from downstairs. He was met in the kitchen by the sight of his dad dancing to sound of festive music as he cooked something over the stove. Chuck’s face broke into a huge grin at the sight of Castiel’s pajama-clad self. 

“Good morning and Merry Christmas! I hope waffles are okay?” 

He was still a little tired but he smiled nonetheless, if not just from the sheer amount of holiday cheer his dad was showing. “They’re perfect. Merry Christmas.” 

On the counter, Chuck already had a plate of waffles (topped with red and green sprinkles), bacon, and fruit (strawberries and green grapes to be exact) ready for him. Castiel wasted no time in diving in. Back when he lived with his mother it wasn’t often that he was treated with such a delicious breakfast unless it was titled “Sunday Brunch.” Usually he was left with scrambled eggs and toast that he had to cook for himself. He fully enjoyed his dad’s ability to cook food that was both edible and delicious. 

When he was on his third waffle of the morning, his dad quickly left the room, coming back a few seconds later with a small red package. 

“I know we’re exchanging gifts when everyone gets here but I just wanted you to have something to open this morning.” 

Slowly Castiel unwrapped the package, wondering what was so exciting to his dad that he couldn’t wait until later. Inside the wrapping paper was a driver’s instruction course pamphlet. With confusion, Castiel looked across the table. His dad must have been able to read the question in his eyes. 

“Now, I know it’s not as exciting as a new car but since you have no formal driving experience I figured this would be the best first step. I was thinking for your graduation gift we could get you a car, if that’s something you’re interested in?” 

Castiel hadn’t really given much thought to needing to drive. If he ever needed to go anywhere his dad, Dean, or Gabriel were more than willing to drive him. But now, thinking about being able to offer to drive them all places if they needed it…. Or go out to the local farm that sustained colonies of bees whenever he wanted… the idea was extremely exciting. He felt his cheeks start to cramp from smiling. “This is… this is awesome. Thank you!” 

“You’re very welcome. But I promise you this isn’t the only present you’re getting. The best ones are for later.” Castiel got up to give his dad a quick hug. Already this was turning out to be the best Christmas he’d ever had. 

A short while later, as they were still cleaning up from breakfast, the doorbell rang. 

When Chuck came back from answering, there was a short woman by his side, a little younger than his dad. Her large blue eyes and slightly frizzy blonde hair seemed vaguely familiar but not enough that Castiel recognized her. She was wearing a very decorated red Christmas sweater, adorned with gold tinsel and what looked like small jingle bells. Her smile took up almost her whole face and somehow Castiel already instantly liked her. 

“Castiel… I’d—I’d like you to meet Becky.” Chuck said, smiling over at the woman next to him. Immediately Castiel stepped across the room to outstretch his hand to her in greeting. The woman in front of him let out a small squeal before practically throwing herself at him, wrapping Castiel in an almost overbearing hug. He could see the sympathetic look his dad sent him when he looked over Becky’s shoulder but his dad seemed please at the same time. 

“Oh, hello.” He said in amusement. She pulled back just enough to cradle his face in her hands. Castiel couldn’t help but laugh at how excited she seemed to be. 

“I’ve wanted to meet you to badly! Your dad talks about you all the time. Well he talks about all of you all the time. He’s just so happy that you’re actually living with him. Ah, look at you. You look just like him. Wow” 

“Thank you?” With that he was pulled into another crushing hug before Becky finally released him and returned to his dad’s side. He watched as Chuck casually took Becky by the hand and smiled down at her. 

When his dad looked back at him, he answered the unspoken question in the air. “I know I haven’t really spoken about her to you yet but Becky and I have been dating for a little while now—“ 

“A year is not a little while, silly.” Becky cut in playfully. 

“You’re right—I just wasn’t sure if introducing her to you right when you moved in would be too much of an adjustment for you. I felt now was the time though.” 

There was something about Chuck’s demeanor that made Castiel feel inexplicably joyful for his father. Maybe it was in the way that his dad’s eyes shone more brightly at the moment, or how his eyes crinkled as he smiled. He figured if anyone looked hard enough, maybe that’s how he looked when he was near Dean. 

“It’s a pleasure to meet you. Truly.” Castiel said to Becky, and he meant it. 

Now that the formalities were over, Becky suddenly clapped her hands in excitement. “Ready to get this cooking show on the road?” 

“Already?” Cas asked puzzled. “Dinner won’t be for another nine hours.” 

Becky just rolled her eyes fondly and started towards the fridge. “Trust me. If we don’t start now it won’t all be ready by the time we want to eat.” 

In no way did Castiel think that it would take nearly all day to prepare one meal but he followed the woman around the kitchen nonetheless. 

Seven hours later he was starting to see Becky’s logic. 

One turkey, one honey roasted ham, one batch of mashed potatoes, a green bean casserole, yams, stuffing, fresh dinner rolls, corn, a chopped salad, three separate pies, and a fruit cake later and Castiel thought his feet might actually fall off. How could one meal take so much work? He knew all of his siblings, nieces, and nephews would be there for the night but it still seemed like so much food. 

It certainly smelled heavenly though and Castiel was more than looking forward to diving in once his siblings arrived. 

At four o’clock, almost on the dot, his brothers and sisters started showing up. He tried not to let the nerves consume him, but it’d been a very long time since he’d seen his eldest brothers and he was terrified if they’d treat him how he remembered. Would Anna be nice to him now? Or would she revert back to her old habits now that their older brothers were there? 

Castiel was immensely grateful that he’d at least have Hannah and Gabriel as buffers and if worse came to worse he could escape to the Winchester’s house. 

He stood in the living room as all of his family members started gathering together, placing presents around the tree, not paying any mind to him at the far end of the room. He didn’t know what to do with himself to be honest. Hannah and Anna were currently talking to Becky while Gabriel was helping keep the three kids from running around everywhere. So Castiel just stood back and watched his older brothers and their spouses move around the space with their father, none of them quite noticing him yet. 

It’d been a while since he’d seen them all but he could still decipher which brother was which. Michael was the tallest of the three brothers, he shared Chuck’s blue eyes but his blonde hair and other features were likely from his mother’s side. Raphael looked quite a lot like Gabriel but he had the same red hair that Anna had been born with. Lucas however looked very similar to their father, just as Hannah did, but he’d gotten blonde hair instead of dark brown. Castiel figured if an outsider saw them all together it would be a little difficult to tell if they were indeed siblings or not. 

He was content to just watch them all associate with each other until someone noticed him. It was strange seeing the dynamic of them all together. Though their father wasn’t nearly as timid around Gabriel, Hannah, and Anna as he once was, there was still an air of uncertainty in the way he moved around Michael, Raphael, and Lucas. His three eldest brothers didn’t seem standoffish with their father but it was clear that they were not as at ease with him as the younger of the siblings were. Still, there were warm hugs and friendly greetings passed through their small family, even from the two women and the three smaller children Castiel had yet to meet. 

It was a little bittersweet to see this side of his family. In part he wished he had been able to grow up in it since he’d been the only one to miss out on years of gatherings… years of shared jokes and stories. But on the other hand, realizing that he had a chance to get to know them now and be a part of a family (at least in regards to his father, Gabriel, Hannah, and Anna) who wanted him, it felt nice. Exciting even. 

It took about ten minutes for everyone to settle before his eldest brother spotted him from across the room. 

Castiel almost clammed up when Michael caught his eye from across the room. The older man did a double take before walking over with a smile. 

“Castiel, you’ve grown so much since I last saw you.” Michael looked as if he didn’t know whether to hug him or just awkwardly wave. 

“You’ve changed much as well.” Castiel noted. The last time he’d seen his eldest brother, the other man had been shorter, much skinner, and still resembled a teenager more than a grown man. 

“It’s so good to see you again.” He actually sounded sincere when he talked and a flood of relief washed over Castiel. As Michael spoke, a well put together, blonde woman with soft brown eyes came up to his side followed by two boys. In Castiel’s best guess one of them appeared to be eight and the other six. “This is my wife Rachel and our sons Ezekiel and Inias.” 

Cas smiled and greeted his newly met family members learning that Ezekiel was actually seven and Inias was five. 

After a moment Michael turned to back to Cas to ask, “Has Raphael seen you yet?” 

“He hasn’t.” 

“Raphael!” Michael shouted across the room to their red-headed brother. Raphael looked up from where he was talking to Lucas by the tree and meandered over per Michael’s request. “How long has it been since we last saw Castiel? Do you remember when he was like this big? Look at how tall he is.” 

Another small ounce of trepidation overcame Cas. He had a very distinct memory of Raphael and Lucas calling him a bastard once upon a time… he didn’t want a repeat of those childhood events. Not on Christmas. 

But no look of disgust or dislike made their way into Raphael’s features, he just looked Castiel over thoroughly and shook his head in a bit of disbelief. “You look _just_ like Dad.” 

“That’s what I’ve been told.” Castiel replied in way of thanking him. 

He watched as Raphael gestured for a woman with rich chocolate skin and deep brown eyes to come over. “This is my wife Billie and the little girl over there is ours.” Castiel’s brother gestured over to a little girl with two curly pigtails and a sparkly green dress playing with Inias. 

“What’s her name?” 

“Angelica.” 

Castiel smiled at both his brothers and their wives. “You have beautiful children.” 

There was a collective ‘Thank you,’ from the group before Michael was speaking again. “I can’t get over how grown up you are.” 

“I do hear that happens with aging.” Castiel supplied, not meaning for it to be a joke but the others laughed anyway, making Chuck come over to see what was so funny. 

“Castiel has just grown up so much since the last time we saw him. And he looks just like you.” Raphael said to their father. 

“I’m going to take that as a compliment.” Chuck said proudly, putting his arm around Castiel’s shoulders. All of them laughed together again. It made Castiel smile to himself. Was this what it felt like to have a family? 

Soon Becky was shuffling them all into the dining room where everyone fussed over who got to sit next to who. As they walked in, Castiel noticed Lucas standing cautiously away from the rest of the family and Castiel bravely made his way over. He didn’t know what made him want to take a chance, but he figured it had to do with both Michael and Raphael receiving his presence well. 

His brother seemed more interested in being on his phone, typing something very rapidly, to notice Castiel slowly approaching him. Lucas didn’t even look up when Castiel was in arms reach. Cas still offered him a formal greeting since his brother was the only one of the people in the room whom Castiel hadn’t spoken with. 

“Merry Christmas, Lucas.” Cas said kindly, trying not to bother Lucas too much from whatever work he appeared to be doing on the phone. A nearly identical set of blue eyes to his own looked up at him and then flickered back to the small screen in front of him. 

“Thanks.”

Castiel knew well enough that the lack of eye contact meant his brother wasn’t interested in speaking but he still asked, as a formality: “How have you been?” 

Again, Lucas seemed to be unable to care any less about Castiel’s presence. “Fine,” he said, continuing to type away on his phone. 

Castiel knew when to admit defeat but was saved from needing to make an awkward exit from his ‘conversation’ when Gabriel shouted from across the room. “Cassie, come sit next to me!” 

Without hesitation, Cas made his way over to the seat Gabriel was obnoxiously ‘saving’ for Castiel to sit. It was on the corner, where he’d be able to sit next to their father at the head. 

“Was he rude to you?” Gabriel whispered when Castiel settled in the plush wooden chair. Castiel answered the question honestly. 

“He just didn’t say much.” 

“Don’t take it personally, he thinks he’s better than all of us because he makes more money than even Dad.” Gabriel tried to explain, looking across the room at his brother with a hint of what Dean often calls ‘stink eye.’ “He wouldn’t be out here if our mother wouldn’t have given him the third degree about not seeing her on Christmas. My money is on him leaving before desert.” 

“Dad seems happy to have him here.” 

“That makes one of us. Even Anna is getting fed up with Lucas’s ‘tude.” 

That made Castiel laugh, but before he could ask Gabriel to further explain what he meant by that, Becky came out carrying the last dish of the night. She had the same gummy smile on her face as she did when she’d seen Castiel that morning. 

“Dinner is served!” 

In a matter of moments everyone was in the seats passing platters of decadent foods from one to another. It was one of the most lively dinners Castiel had ever experienced in this home and he loved the sheer joy that he could see on his father’s face. 

Maybe because it was Christmas, or maybe it was because his dad was an enthusiastic ball of holiday spirit the entire night went smoothly. Chuck talked and joked with each of his kids, and told fantastical Christmas stories to his grandchildren. A few snarky Gabriel-like comments keyed Castiel in to this being almost… unusual for their family. If Castiel had to think about it, he figured the fact that this was the first night in a significant amount of years that Chuck had all of his family in one room was the true reason why dinner was as wonderful an experience as it was. 

Lucas eventually did leave early to catch a flight, but Michael, Rafael, and their families stayed for a while opening the presents under the tree. It was surprising how comfortable everything was. 

After presents, but before desert, there was a short break as Becky warmed up the pie so Castiel took the opportunity to run upstairs to check his phone. He’d been so caught up in his family time that he hadn’t realized he hadn’t had it on him all day. 

Waiting for him was a message from Dean. 

**Dean (6:27):** Are you able to come over tonight still? 

_You (7:14):_ Yes. I should be there at 8:30. Is that okay?

**Dean (7:15):** I dont mind how late it is come over whenever 

_You (7:15):_ Are you having a good Christmas? 

**Dean (7:15):** I am 

**Dean (7:16):** missing you though

Cas’s breath caught in his chest and he tried to fight the smile that was straining on his cheeks. 

_You (7:18):_ I miss you as well. I promise I’ll be there tonight. 

Dean just responded with a red heart making Cas’s own melt in his chest. 

Why was it getting so much harder to ignore the way Dean made him feel? He knew he wasn’t an expert at these things but somewhere deep down he felt like something had changed. He saw Dean differently than he did any one of their friends. The way he felt because of Dean too was indescribable. He just didn’t know if it was all one sided, how would he even find out? Could he just come out and ask? What if Dean didn’t feel anything, would Castiel be breaking some sort of friendship rule by admitting his feelings? 

He didn’t know how to do any of it. He needed help before he ruined the best thing that could have ever happened to him. Meeting Dean had changed Castiel’s life. He knew that. He knew that if he wouldn’t have fallen down those times only to have Dean be there for him, that Castiel wouldn’t be the same person he was now. Now he understood what friendship was. Now he felt comfortable speaking more of what was on his mind. Now he felt confident to build relationships with the people around him because he felt worthy of having those relationships. 

Dean Winchester had made his life irrevocably better, and Castiel truly believed he’d fallen in love with his best friend. 

What was he going to do? 

Right before Becky called them all down for desert, Castiel caught Anna in her room. 

“I need your advice.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Excuse any typos. I'm about to board a plane and can't check it over for any final mistakes. :P 
> 
>  
> 
> I think there will be 2 more chapters for this story <3 Thank you all for reading.


	9. Chapter 9

He blamed it on the fact it was Christmas and that all holiday movies had instilled that you _had_ to be with the people you loved on Christmas. Yes, that was why Dean’s mind was constantly thinking about Cas and snuggling up with him on the couch… sharing a mug of hot cocoa, while watching cheesy Hallmark movies. It was _not_ the fact that Dean was head over heels, turn to mush, can’t think of anything other than him, _in love_ with the other boy. Nope. It was just Christmas’s fault. 

He probably checked the clock nearly every fifteen minutes since the moment he woke up, wondering if Cas was on his way over yet. He was so pathetic. 

He didn’t care though. 

Not when it was 8:34 at night and his friend was knocking on his front door. 

Not when he got to spend Christmas night with the person that made his heart actually _flutter_ just by being next to him. He had no idea if what he felt was real or everlasting but it sure as hell felt profound to him. Cas was special to him, in a way he didn’t think he could ever explain. He knew he was young. He knew that ninety-nine percent of high school loves don’t stand the test of time but… he was gonna follow his heart anyway. 

Seeing Cas standing there, in the doorway, in Dean’s green jacket that he (purposefully) never asked for back, made his heart do a hundred cartwheels. Did Cas even know what he did to Dean? 

Did he know that he made Dean physically weak in the knees? Probably not, but the small smile Cas smiled, the smile only Dean could spot, made Dean wonder if he did these things on purpose. 

“Merry Christmas, Dean.” 

“Merry Christmas, angel.” Like a cliché lovesick teenager, Dean stood there just staring at Cas for a little while too long before his senses came about him. It would have only been more cinematic had the weather decided this year was the one to grant a white Christmas. Quickly he ushered his best friend in and started removing his coat. “Come in. You’re probably freezing to death.” 

“I’m a little cold but not anywhere near hypothermia.” Cas answered, sounding a little like he was making a joke. The dorky guy was starting to catch on to figurative language from being around their small circle of friends. It made Dean’s heart so proud. 

“Still, Mom and Sam are in the living room. I’ll grab a blanket for you and some hot chocolate.” 

“Thank you, Dean.” 

He heard his Mom and Sam greeting Cas as he quickly grabbed his blanket off his bed and rushed to the kitchen to make a couple of cups of hot chocolate. Standing there waiting for the microwave to beep, he could feel his cheeks tightening with the smile he couldn’t erase. There was just something _so_ comforting about having all his people together for the holiday. These were the people he wanted to share all of his good memories with, for as long as he could. 

Dear lord. He was thankful no one could hear his inner thoughts because what the heck? It was Christmas’s fault he was such a sap. 

Yup. That was it. 

After he had Cas wrapped securely in a blanket with a cup between his hands, Mary announced that it was present time. Of course, Dean, Sam, and their mother had exchanged gifts bright and early that morning (Sam and Dean still act like small children on Christmas morning) with each other and Uncle Bobby. The gifts they had left were all for Cas. 

With Mary and Sam settled on the couch together, Dean and Cas were left to pass out the gifts. Per Dean’s insistence, Castiel was covered with his red and blue flannel blanket and sat closest to the fireplace while Dean did the tiresome work of passing out all the gifts in preferential order: Cas, Mom, himself, Sammy. Big brother duties and all. 

After Mary had to break up a dutiful Christmas-Day-Name-Calling Battle, Dean finally pulled the first gift from under the tree and handed it to his friend. It was sweet watching the bashfulness that crossed Cas’s features but what really struck Dean was the way Castiel held the unwrapped gift in his hand that Sam had gotten for him with such reverence Dean, for a moment, thought Cas mistook the wrapped parcel for the entire gift. When he did manage to unwrap the small square box (with Sam repeatedly reminding him to not tip it upside down), Cas’s entire face lit up to the point of a fond laugh breaking from his lips. 

“Sam, I greatly enjoy this gift,” He said with wide eyes down to the Baby Groot planter and small green plant coming from its head. 

“Well I know you didn’t understand like ninety-nine percent of the movies but you did love Groot and Baby Groot so I thought it’d make you laugh.” 

Sam had been nervous that Cas wouldn’t understand or appreciate the gift and had asked Dean at least ten times if he should get something else. Dean knew that Cas would love it though and the way his friend was holding the small gift in his hands showed that he’d been right. 

“Thank you.” Cas said gratefully to Sam. He gently placed the planter beside him, careful to keep it away from the fireplace, and turned back to Dean to give him the go ahead for the next gift. 

“Okay, mom’s next!”

When Dean looked over to Cas as Mary took her bag, he could see that his best friend was definitely nervous. As Dean reached over to wrap an arm around Cas, he wondered if the other boy had ever had the chance to give any gifts to other people. Maybe today was a day of firsts for the guy. But when Mary pulled out what looked like a handmade wind chime, Dean immediately knew why Cas was nervous. Cas must have believed she wouldn’t like it—which was insane because, whoa, it looked amazing. There was no way his mom wouldn’t love it. 

It was simple. A wind chime on a rounded wooden frame with strings attached to round clay circles with pressed flowers glued to the face of them. Exactly something his mom would have bought for herself if she saw it at the store. 

“Oh, Castiel, did you make this?” 

“I did.” Cas responded nervously. Dean squeezed his arm around Cas’s waist a little tighter. 

“It’s so… oh sweetheart, it’s so beautiful.” Mary cooed, reaching her arms out towards him. “Thank you so much. Come here, I need to hug you.” 

“You like it?” 

“I love it. So so much.” Cas dutifully crawled over to Mary on the couch and fell into her hug. Dean, for a moment, thought his mom might actually squeeze the life out of Cas, her hug was so tight, but from the looks of it Cas’s responding hug was just as forceful. 

“Okay. My gift to you now.” Mary said, sounding a little watery, Dean noticed. 

Cas showed a little more excitement with opening this gift, but still looked at the wrapped gift like it were precious. And still, when he pulled out the gloves, scarves, earmuffs, and the knitted yellow and white honeycomb patterned blanket, out of the box he touched each item like it was the softest most delicate item he’d ever come across. He didn’t say anything for a while, just gripped the soft gifts in his fists and smiled reverently down at his lap. 

“I’m starting to gather that you all believe I’m perpetually cold.” He finally said, looking up with a bit of mischievous glint in his eyes. 

Dean barked out a laugh. “Was that a joke? Are you cracking jokes now?” 

He’d never seen Cas smile so much as he was this night and Dean couldn’t help but feel abundantly proud of the way the night was going. He wanted Cas to always feel this happy. He knew things were going much better for Cas now that his awful mother wasn’t in the picture. Cas had even told Dean that since his mother’s unexpected trip down here, his dad has been spending even more time with him. He told Dean that he really felt like he had a family. A dad who spent time with him, siblings that made jokes with him, and he was even excited to meet his nieces and nephews. 

Dean wondered if Cas had ever longed for these things before or if he ever even noticed what it felt like to be without them. 

He was just glad Cas didn’t have to go through his life anymore being so alone. 

“Mary, I am very pleased with all of these. I cannot wait to wear the scarves and use this blanket in my bed.” 

Dean’s mom smiled radiantly down at the other boy. “I’m so glad, honey.” 

“Honey?” 

Cas had been around enough that Mary knew when he was curious about the things she said. The time she said ‘don’t look a gift horse in the mouth’ had nearly made her late for work with how confused Cas had been about that particular phrase (to be honest, Dean still can’t say he understands why people say it but, oh well). 

“Oh, that’s another pet name like sweetheart, dear, kiddo. It’s what I call the boys, or mostly Dean. Sam gets sweetheart and kiddo more.” 

Cas seemed to ponder her answer for a moment before nodding his head. “I like that one.” He looked over with a bright smile at Dean. “I’ve been meaning to give you a nickname. Can I call you ‘honey’ as well? I think it’s my favorite one.” 

Dean tried not to let on that the question made his heart skip a beat, but he knew his mom and brother were probably internally freaking out. Poor Cas had no idea how big of a crush Dean was harboring—he had no idea how his innocent desire to give Dean a nickname was making Dean want to jump for joy. 

“If you want to.” Dean managed to stutter. 

“I do. I enjoy it.” 

“Alright. Well. Uh—yeah. My turn.” He announced, trying to make light of the fact that he was burning hot from his neck to his ears. Castiel was completely oblivious to Dean’s nerves. He stopped Dean from fumbling with his present with a light hand to his forearm. 

“Actually, can Sam’s be next?” 

“What?” Dean feigned annoyance. “Loser brothers go last!” 

“Please? I’d like… I’d like to save your gift for last if you don’t mind.” Maybe Dean wasn’t reading it right, but he could have sworn that the look in Cas’s eyes was a bit of fear. Did Cas think that Dean was mad he wouldn’t get to open his present until last? 

“‘Course I don’t.” Dean tried to assure but the uncertainty in Cas’s eyes made him a little unsettled. 

What was going on? 

Cas seemed to be acting normal as Sam opened his gift. “I found this in my father’s office and remembered that you found an interest in these sorts of things too.” The blue-eyed boy reported after Sam had ripped open the paper. 

“Cas! This is so cool! Thank you!” 

“What it is?” Mary asked politely. 

“A book about all kinds of supernatural creatures.” Sammy started to explain, talking a mile a minute as always. “His dad writes about a lot of them in his stories and there’s so much backstory he has to put into them. I’ve been talking to Cas about how complex and detailed all of his dad’s stories are and how he must research these things to get all the information correct. And it made me wonder what all he’s been learning and where any of the stories of these creatures originated from.” 

When he managed to take a breath finally, Sam looked back over to Cas. “Dude, I’m so excited.” 

“I’m glad. My father did say if you ever wanted to ‘pick his mind’ about the lore he would be more than happy to oblige.” 

Dean had to roll his eyes at the geeks he had in his life, Cas with his finger quotes and Sam with his obscene obsessions with ghastly creatures. But hey, Dean couldn’t really talk. He was fairly sure if his mom hadn’t put her foot down, their house would be completely Star Wars themed. 

“Alright, alright, enough book talk.” He joked. “Can I open my present now?” 

The look was back in Cas’s eyes. Dean watched as the other boy peered down at one of the three gifts left with some sort of apprehension in his gaze. 

“Yes. Of course you may open it.” 

He didn’t know why he was suddenly so damn nervous. Maybe it was the look in Cas’s eyes, the way that Cas seemed unsure of the gift he was giving. Or maybe it was the fact that all eyes were now on him. He sort of felt like his heart was going to suddenly beat out of his chest. 

Why was he freaking out over one present? 

Well, maybe he did know... 

It felt like, somehow, this present would give him some answers. Dean knew what _he_ had wrapped up in the gifts he was going to give Cas. He knew what the gift would seem like to outsider eyes so… he was a little scared that Cas’s gift to him would spell things out more clearly in a way that Dean would be left disappointed. 

Of course he didn’t really think that his best friend would give him an unthoughtful gift… but if Dean could decipher the level of thought or effort put into it he might be able to gauge how Cas felt about him in return. 

Maybe? 

He sounded like a twelve-year-old girl. 

It was stupid how much he just wanted a definitive sign that Cas for sure felt what Dean was feeling. He just wanted to know if somewhere in the future he’d get to hold the other boy’s hand or kiss him. 

The green and red bag with a large Hawaiian shirt wearing Santa on the front looked a lot like something Gabriel would pick out but Dean stopped thinking about the whereabouts of the giftwrapping when he pulled out what was inside. 

“Oh my—Cas, did you make this too?” 

“I did.” 

He barely had words. 

“How? When did you even do this?” 

“I used my phone to take a picture of you, without you knowing.” 

Dean didn’t know what his face looked like at the moment but he didn’t care because he couldn’t stop marveling at the gift in front of him. Castiel had somehow made a silhouette of Dean leaning against the Impala, the family car that once belonged to his father. Cas had laid the picture on worn paper and framed it. Against the edges of the paper were pressed flowers and leaves that Castiel must have collected. It was amazing. He knew Cas was artistically gifted, but he never knew that his friend was able to produce something like this. 

“Cas… do you know how talented you are?” 

“You really believe so?” 

“God, yes, I know you are. You have a gift… I want like a million of these.” 

Castiel actually laughed at Dean’s expression. “That’s quite a lot.” 

“Well I like it quite a lot. But really, if you ever feel up for making another one of these… I’d… I’d love one of me and you. Maybe?”

There was no longer any apprehension in Cas’s eyes. He must have felt satisfied knowing Dean genuinely enjoyed the gift. He even seemed touched that Dean would want more than just one. “Your birthday is coming up.” The other boy noted. 

“You’re right, it is.” 

“We could have your mother take a picture of us and use that?” 

“Mom!” Dean practically shouted even though she was only three feet away from him. “Can you get a picture of me and Cas?” 

“Of course!” 

Cas had to direct them as to where to sit that would create the best silhouette but Dean didn’t care. 

The gift had felt…. Important. Yes, Cas had brought thoughtful gifts for everyone in the family but, this? This gift felt personal. Maybe it was wishful thinking but maybe not. Maybe Cas wanted to make something special for Dean. Maybe it was for a reason? 

Dean felt even more nervous now as he placed his present into Cas’s lap. It was a simple blue bag with a little penguin on the front with white paper coming out of it. 

“It won’t look like much but let me explain it when you open it.” 

“Alright?” Cas said with a question in his voice. He gently pulled out the tissue paper and reached into the bag to pull out a folded piece of white paper. He looked up at Dean as if to see if he was meant to open the paper yet or wait to hear his friend’s explanation, but Dean couldn’t say anything so Cas turned back to the paper. Carefully he unfolded it until he could see the writing on the paper. 

Dean knew what his friend was currently reading. It was a printed advertorial for a bee exhibit opening during the spring at a nearby museum. Before Castiel could even ask Dean what it was about, he was already talking quickly to explain himself. 

“I know it doesn’t seem like much but… I heard that they were planning to open it sometime next year and I knew it would be something you’d probably want to go to so I looked into it and I found out that there was a waiting list to go and see it before it opens to the public so I put my name in and I was able to get us two tickets…. It doesn’t open until March but we’ll still get to go see it before pretty much anyone else does. 

“I also got you this.” Dean announced before pulling out a second gift. It was another gift bag and inside this one was a small stuffed bee. “Since, you know, getting a piece of paper isn’t as fun as getting a real present.” 

He knew he was babbling but he just didn’t know what Cas was thinking. He didn’t know if this was too forward or not forward enough.

“You’re taking me to see the bees?” When Dean met Cas’s eyes, he was blown away by the look of awe he saw reflected in them. 

“I thought you’d like it.” He replied honestly. Without even needing to initiate it, Dean was suddenly enveloped in a warm embrace. He could feel the soft puffs of Castiel’s breath against his neck and Dean couldn’t help but squeeze back, more securely than ever. 

“Thank you. So much.” 

Dean smiled into Castiel’s shoulder, feeling stupidly proud of himself for getting the right gift. Maybe, just maybe by the time the actual event took place he’d have found the courage to maybe, just maybe ask Cas to be something more than friends. 

Their hug must have lasted an eternity because suddenly Mary’s voice broke into the moment. 

“Well, I’m going to call it a night. You boys were up far too early for me so now I need my beauty rest.” 

Dean and Cas pulled apart from each other as a mixture of “Night Mama,” “Night Mom,” and “Merry Christmas Mary,” was offered. 

“Sammy, you should—you should brush your teeth to make sure you don’t… to make sure you don’t get a cavity from all the pie…” Mary said, suspiciously, before leaving the living room. 

Sam look absolutely dumbfounded. “What?” 

“I uh, I also have another thing I need to talk to you about. In my room.” 

“Okay?” 

Dean watched as his brother dumbly followed after their mom towards her room. He knew what his mom was doing, and despite knowing that Cas probably was none the wiser, Dean still tried to be immensely grateful to her instead of embarrassed. 

But… as his mom apparently liked to say, he wasn’t going to look this gift horse in the mouth. He’d envisioned a night snuggled up on the couch with the boy beside him and by all means he was going to try and make that a reality. 

“Want to watch a movie before you go home?” He asked hopefully. 

“I’d like that.” Cas replied.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> YOU GUYS!! Sleep Without You just reached 500 kudos and I'm FREAKING OUT! Like what?! How?! Why?!? I'm honestly super flattered and shocked, and just in awe that something I wrote could get that much attention. NO IDEA HOW! 
> 
> BUT if you're reading this, be on the lookout for another part to that series in the next month or so! 
> 
>  
> 
> Anyway, back to this story! I have one more chapter in mind and POSSIBLY an epilogue. The next chapter will pick up immediately after this chapter. <3


	10. Chapter 10

It was almost ten o’clock at night and the movie they’d decided to watch had long since been forgotten. 

Dean’s body was turned in towards Castiel, his head resting on the hand perched against the back of the couch. Castiel wondered if he himself looked as happy as Dean did in the warm light of the fireplace and the television. 

Maybe it was what Dean called ‘The Magic of Christmas’ or maybe it was just Dean himself but Castiel had never felt a more warming feeling deep in his core. There was something about the night that made him never want it to end. Something made it feel special.

All he could do was smile at his best friend as Dean described why some students at school were a little weary of him. He had to wonder if Dean realized that every so often he’d take his hand away from his head and run his fingers through Cas’s hair. Somehow Cas doubted Dean was conscious of this motion. Somehow Cas doubted Dean was ever aware of the amount of physical contact the green eyed man initiated but it was enough to make Cas’s heart feel float-y in his chest. 

He was thankful to the guidance Anna provided him prior to coming over to the Winchester’s but it left his mind wandering as Dean spoke. Castiel had to fight to keep himself on topic. 

“I don’t understand why people always say you’re a troublemaker.” 

Dean shrugged, “I got in a fight last year. It was pretty bad. It almost got me expelled.” 

Despite knowing the barest version of the story after asking Charlie once in class, Castiel just wanted an excuse to hear Dean tell the story. He adored the way the other boy always spoke animatedly, adding in sound effects and hand motions to emphasize dramatic events. 

“What happened?” 

“These two brothers, Zel and Alistair,” Dean began, sitting up and scooting just a fraction closer to Castiel, “they were new to school and I tried to make friends with them because that’s just what I do, you know?” 

It always happened so simply, the way Dean could draw him into a conversation. Never one for much eye contact, Castiel often found himself stunned by the way he’d become enraptured in Dean’s eyes while they spoke. He nodded in response to Dean’s question. 

“They were fine at first, a little rude but I figured they weren’t cool with having just moved from their home to here. So I kept trying to be friends with them and get to know them and I tried opening up to them but one thing led to another and they—and they….” 

At Dean’s sudden hesitance, Castiel reached out and gripped around Dean’s forearm, hoping to grant some semblance of comfort. “Did they harm you?” 

“No they… they found out I like both boys and girls and…. They tried to tease me for it. And you know me, in one ear and out the other, but then—then they went after Sammy. He of course defended me and that pissed them off so they punched him. When I found out I just got so mad. It turned into a fight and I nearly broke Zel’s nose and I definitely left a few bruises on them. But it turns out that Sam and I weren’t the only ones they harassed, and that they’d done some pretty awful things to other kids so they got expelled. Still, people are a little scared of what I can do I guess.” 

Although what Dean had just told him had been filled with quite a bit of shocking information, Castiel’s mind only settled on one small piece. _They found out I like both boys and girls…”_

It was like a levee had broken and suddenly Castiel was flooded with the realization of just how much fear he’d been holding in. It wasn’t fear of what Dean could do to people who hurt his loved ones, but fear that if he’d ever let his feelings for Dean slip that he’d be shunned. Fear that he’d lose his first ever meaningful friendship—first ever meaningful relationship. 

He struggled to find what he needed to say in response. He struggled with strewing together any other words besides ‘you like boys too?’ because what could he even say? What had Dean even been talking about before he so thoroughly changed the whole story Castiel had been comfortable with in his mind?

In his mind he’d understood that the likelihood of Dean reciprocating feelings was miniscule. Anna had explained that he shouldn’t get his hopes up because it was far more likely that Dean only saw him as a friend than as a potential love interest due to the fact that he hadn’t explained his gender preferences to Cas. Despite her uncertainty Anna still told Castiel the signs he could follow; the signs that (without bluntly asking) would at least guide him into deciphering if Dean could have feelings for him. __

_1\. He’ll want to spend time with you whenever he can._  
_2\. He’ll show interest in the things you enjoy._  
_3\. He’ll try and be physically close to you whenever possible._  
_4\. He’ll tease and joke with you a lot._  
_5\. He’ll call you sweet names or compliment you a lot._  
_6\. Most importantly, he’ll often let you know how much you mean to him._

The signs had started to check themselves off with each minute but Castiel had deflected them all, telling himself that he was only a friend. Would only ever be Dean’s friend because he was a boy but…. Now what? 

“Cas? Are you okay? I—I understand if this makes you change your mind about me. I probably should have told you sooner but… I—“ 

Castiel scrambled to put an end to Dean’s doubt. How could he think that Castiel would change his mind about Dean just because the other boy had defended Sam? 

“Dean, no. I apologize. I just didn’t know what to say. I understand why you’d have gotten in that fight. You were just protecting your brother. Others shouldn’t judge you for defending your family when people have harmed them.”

His response seemed to pacify Dean’s worry. Cas felt the other boy’s fingers run through the hair at his temple. “Yeah, but I guess people just think that if I’m able to flip a switch like that and beat some jerks up, that maybe I’ll freak out on them over something else.” 

“You’d never hurt anyone.” 

“As long as they don’t hurt the people I care about I wouldn’t, but if someone lays a hand on my mom, Sam, or you… it’s game over.” 

Castiel leaned into the hand Dean still hand resting against his cheek. There was no way Dean was conscious to the movement nor was there any way he was aware just how close they had gotten. Castiel could almost feel Dean’s exhales against his cheeks. 

He traced his thumb over the soft hairs of Dean’s forearm, praying that Dean suddenly didn’t realize their proximity and pull away. “I admire the lengths you’re willing to go for those in your life and I…. I really appreciate that I’ve found my way into those you’d be willing to defend. 

“You mean a lot to me Cas. I don’t know if I’ve told you that, but you do. Since I’ve met you I just… I can’t picture not having you around. I’d do anything for you. 

That was it. That was the final check off the list of signs. He could feel his heart palpating in his chest as they usually did when Dean was near but this feeling was so much more. He knew he had deep, weighty feelings that made his heart skip a beat every time Dean so much as smiled in Castiel’s direction. Now that feeling felt like an explosion because Dean had showed him every single sign Anna had mentioned. 

Dean had… feelings for him. 

So he did what he thought he should. The logical sequence of events he’d seen in movies. When you know the other party returns your feelings you act on it. So Castiel followed the signs. His heart was pounding, but he took the chance that the signs were there. 

He pressed his lips against Dean’s, softly. He probably wasn’t doing it right but how wrong could he be with just pressing his mouth to another? 

Perhaps very, _very,_ wrong. 

Dean jumped back suddenly, his eyes as large as saucers. Castiel watched as Dean’s hand pulled away from Cas’s face and touched his lips like he’d been shocked.

“Cas? What?” 

Cas didn’t give Dean a chance to speak any further before he bolted from the couch and out the front door. He was too heartbroken to pay mind to any doors he may have slammed behind him. He especially didn’t pay any mind to Dean calling out for him. He just jogged away from his best friend’s house as fast as he could towards the general direction of _away._

He felt like he couldn’t breath right. Felt like he was going to be sick. Dean hadn’t wanted to kiss him at all. Of course he hadn’t. Not with the way he jumped back so quickly. If he had wanted to be kissed by Castiel wouldn’t he have leaned into it? Wouldn’t he have smiled or something? 

He thought the signs had been there. 

He counted all of them. 

Anna had told him they might not be perfect but… he thought they’d all been there. If all of them were there wouldn’t that mean Dean definitely felt something? 

No. 

No, no, no, no, no. 

He was a fool. He’d always been foolish believing that someone out there would ever desire him. 

So so stupid. He’d always been so stupid. Everyone had always known it. 

The signs had all been wrong. 

Signs like that were only meant for normal people. Not for people like Castiel. 

The look of shock on Dean’s face was enough for Castiel to know he had ruined everything between them. He had lost the first person he’d ever been able to call a friend, all because he couldn’t be normal. He couldn’t be a normal kid who had normal platonic feelings for his friends. He just had to be weird, had to be different, had to kiss his friend and ruin everything. 

He ran until he couldn’t run anymore due to his lungs feeling constricted. He found himself kneeling in a park, shivering from head to toe and not just due to the winter weather outside. 

“God damn, you run fast.” Cas heard from behind him. His head whipped around and  
tears started stinging Castiel’s eyes when he saw Dean standing, hunched over trying to catch his breath. 

Why did Dean even bother to follow him? 

Did he want to yell at him? 

Did he want to end their friendship face to face? 

Why couldn’t he just let Castiel be miserable all on his own? 

Castiel couldn’t speak. He felt his lower lip tremble as Dean approached him because he just _knew_ this was the moment he was going to lose the other boy. This was going to be the worst moment of his entire life not being able to call Dean his friend anymore. His heart howled in anguish inside his chest. 

“Cas, what’s going on? Why did you run away?” 

And like that the damn broke. Castiel couldn’t even control the shuddering breaths wracking his body as he tried to beg for forgiveness. 

“I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry Dean.” Castiel wrung his fingers through his hair and rocked himself back and forth on the cold, wet sidewalk. “I just thought—I just thought I read the signs. I did read the signs. I just misunderstood them… I was wrong. I was so wrong. I shouldn’t have trusted Anna, I shouldn’t have listened to what she told me. I’m so sorry Dean. Please don’t hate me. I couldn’t stand it if you hated me. I wish I could take it back. Can we just forget about it? Please tell me you’ll forget about it. I don’t want to lose you. You’re the only friend I’ve ever had and I don’t want to lose you. I’m so sorry.” 

“Cas, Cas, Cas, Cas—shh, slow down.” Castiel’s hands were pulled from his hair as soft hands gripped around his wrist. “You’re not making any sense. Baby, slow down, come here.” A warm body suddenly pressed against his side, crushing Castiel’s cheek into a solid form. “Shh. You’re not losing me. I’m not going anywhere, not ever. Just—“ Castiel knew he was still crying and tried to burry his face into the softness of Dean’s shirt. “Cas, sweetheart, look at me. I’m not going anywhere. Breathe. Just breathe with me.” 

With Dean’s hand cradling his face, Castiel was unable to turn away from the eyes that were looking at his so tenderly. He focused all of his energy on breathing in and out with the boy holding him until Castiel was left only trembling from emotional exertion. 

“That’s better. Now talk to me sweetheart. What were you saying? You were following the signs? That you shouldn’t have listened to Anna?” 

Castiel shook his head pathetically. “I—I asked Anna… I asked Anna how I would know if you… if you had feelings for me.” There was a sudden intake of breath from his friend. 

“You asked Anna? Why didn’t you just ask me?” 

“Wh-what if you were-weren’t interested? You’d hate me.” 

“I could never hate you.” Dean responded softly. Castiel almost wept again when Dean’s arms embraced him even tighter. “You’re my best friend.” 

Castiel knew they were meant to be comforting words but he felt his heart aching nonetheless. He turned and miserably pressed his face into Dean’s shirt again. “And that’s all I am. Your best friend. I’m so sorry Dean. I’m sorry for messing everything up and kissing you.” 

“Cas, you messed nothing up.” 

“I did. I did. I shouldn’t have done that. I got the signs wrong.” 

“Tell me the signs.” 

“No, no, no. I was stupid.” He could feel his chest starting to constrict again. Why was he feeling this way? Why was Dean even being nice to him? Why would Dean even bother with someone as broken as Castiel? Dean deserved to have perfect people in his life. Not whatever Castiel was. 

Dean’s insistent hands forced Castiel to look back up at him. “Baby, tell me the signs.” 

Castiel felt like a spooked animal trying to be calmed. He’d only ever felt this terrified when his mother had declared she was going to take him back to New York. The thought… the thought of not having Dean be in his life made every fiber of Cas’s being revolt. He wanted to keep Dean at all costs. He wanted to keep his friend. 

“She said he’ll want to spend time with you whenever he can. He’ll show interest in the things you enjoy. He’ll try and be physically close to you whenever possible. He’ll tease and joke with you a lot. He’ll call you sweet names or compliment you a lot and he’ll often let you know how much you mean to him.” 

“So everything I do around you.” 

“I—I was wrong. I’m just your friend. There were no signs.” His lip wouldn’t stop quivering but his tears had ran their course. All that he had left was a throbbing headache. 

“Cas, all the signs were there. All of them.” 

“But… But you looked upset when, when I—“ 

“I was shocked.” Dean interrupted. He looked… sad almost? Like his heart hurt too. "I didn’t, in my wildest dreams, think you’d kiss me.” 

“You didn’t want it.” 

“I did! I did want it.” 

Castiel’s heart thrummed quickly. This had to be a lie. Dean couldn’t mean was he was saying. Could he? “You did?” 

“So bad.” Dean was looking at Castiel with so much intensity that there was no way to argue with even himself. The signs really had been there. Cas hadn’t been wrong. His heart suddenly sang with joy. “Cas, I’ve been trying to work up the courage to do something about the way I feel for you. I’ve just been a chicken.” 

“You look nothing like poultry.” 

“I meant—“ 

Cas let out a water laugh. In complete disbelieve that his moment was real. “I know what you meant. I was trying to tease you.” 

“You’re perfect. Do you know that? You’re absolutely freaking perfect.” Again, he was suddenly crushed to Dean’s chest but this time Castiel wrapped his arms around the other boy just as tightly. It was almost enough to bring him back to tears to hear that Dean Winchester thought Castiel was perfect…. 

“I want to make it perfectly clear right now to you, baby, that if you’re trying to read the signs I absolutely would like to kiss you again.” 

He laughed at Dean’s joke and pulled back from the hug. Watching as Dean’s whole face lit up in a smile. “Will you be my boyfriend, Cas?” Cas’s cheeks split wide in a smile.

“Yes. Yes. I’d love nothing more.” He said with every ounce of honesty he could pour into the declaration. 

And that’s when Dean surged forward in one swift motion and pressed his lips against Castiel’s. It was nothing like the first kiss. No, this kiss made tingles flow from the tips of Cas’s fingers all the way down to his toes. The soft way that Dean moved their mouths together had Castiel feeling like he’d just been blessed by the Angels above. It was perfect in a way Castiel never cared to think a kiss would be. 

Castiel couldn’t help but chase after Dean’s lips when the other boy, his _boyfriend_ pulled away. 

“Nu uh. No more kissing until were back at home, next to a fire, and under a blanket.” 

Cas’s face lit up at the picture painted in his mind. “Alright. Race you,” he said in a playful challenge. 

“Don’t trip.” Dean jested back. Pecking Cas quickly on the lips once more as they both stood up from the ground. 

“At least you’ll be there catch me if I fall.” 

“You bet your ass I will.” 

And off they went, laughing and teasing all the way, running towards the warmth of a blazing fireplace, in a cozy home, and the beginning of their beautiful story.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote the bulk of this chapter before I wrote the rest of the story and I have to say that it was the biggest challenge to write this story backwards, trying to guide these characters to end up where I do deeply wanted them to. 
> 
> I'm super happy with how it turned out and I hope this story warmed your heart as much as it did mine. 
> 
> I'd like to do an epilogue so if you're interested in reading about their lives later in life, subscribe to this work to not miss it. 
> 
> Thank you to everyone who didn't let me give up on this work as I had wanted to towards the beginning. I especially want to thank everyone who have left beautiful comments on this telling me how much you've loved these characters. You are all amazing. 
> 
> <3 Paige


	11. Epilogue

If someone asked him to explain his life, he wouldn’t know where to begin. 

A few words always came to mind right off the bat: happy, loved, perfect. Yes, those words described his life but even those words alone couldn’t adequately reach the depth of what he felt at all times just stepping back and looking at the life he was fortunate enough to live. 

He’d gotten everything he’d ever dreamed of and more. How many people were truly fortunate enough to say that? 

Perhaps to an outsider his life wasn’t perfect. He wasn’t living some five-star life, traveling across the world in private jets; he didn’t own the newest and highest quality cars or technologies, but to him his life was everything. So what if he’d probably never travel to another country or see the Eifel Tower? It was more than likely that he’d never see a Broadway performance either and it was highly probable he’d never climb Mount Everest but all of that? Those were other people’s dreams, not his. 

Here, in his home, he’d done well for himself and damnit he was pretty proud of it too. He’d earned his business degree, working full time while studying, and found himself able to purchase an old abandoned warehouse right on the edges of town. He’d secured a few loans and found a few investors and in a few years time a family brewery was born. 

It wasn’t an accomplishment he’d achieved on his own though, not by any means. It’d been a project in the back of the mind of he and his friends growing up, making some sort of epicenter of the town where people would come to hang out and enjoy themselves. In college that dream had sprouted wings and truly taken off. Dean, Benny, and Jo made it happen together, each one putting in every ounce of their heart and soul to make it work. Dean knew he wouldn’t have been able to do it without them by his side; when the going got tough they all held each other up. There was someone else Dean owed a huge part of his success too, owed everything to really, he’d never have been able to dream of achieving all he had in his life if he hadn’t been blessed with his better half. 

That’s right. Cas. 

Dean was the luckiest son of a bitch the world had ever seen because he’d gotten to marry his high school sweetheart straight out of college. It was one of the biggest events their town had ever seemed (or that’s how their immediate friends and family talk about their wedding). Neither he nor Cas cared about having a large wedding but their family and friends had planned everything for them, all they had to do was show up. 

It was a perfect day.

But so were the ones that followed. 

Marriage had its challenges, that wasn’t even a question, but the sheer devotion both Castiel and Dean felt towards one another made those challenges seem more like a grain of sand than a mountain to hurdle. There was nothing Dean felt like he couldn’t do so long as he always had his best friend by his side. 

Castiel was an angel, actual pure light in this life. Giving, nurturing, loving, protective, beautiful—everything Dean could have only ever dreamed for himself. He was in awe of the man he got to love every day for the rest of his life. His gorgeous man, too, had done so well for himself. He’d really flourished in the time after he’d learned he could permanently live with his father as if he’d been too afraid to be uprooted to truly put down his roots. Once he’d known his newfound comforts wouldn’t be taken away, Castiel had been brave enough to branch out. He’d joined the art club and took art classes at the community college as well. He started volunteering at the soup kitchen every weekend, filling Dean and his family with a desire to pay if forward as well. Cas worked hard and dedicated himself to all the hobbies he loved. He became an art teacher at the elementary school and sold his pressed flowers and other crafts online. 

He’d grown so much in his socialization too, making Dean so proud. Despite how hard it had been previously for Cas to make friends, he had a radiance about him that easily drew people in. Sometimes conversation could be stilted as he’d probably forever struggle with what to say, but his kind nature and gentle eyes put everyone at ease around him. He cared about everyone he interacted with, especially his students, always remembering little facts and hobbies people had just so he could ask them about it later. 

Cas was an amazing man and Dean loved his husband with a passion so fierce it sometimes felt it could consume him. How he’d ever gotten so lucky was beyond him, but he’d treasure it forever. Getting to marry that man had been the greatest gift he’d ever known and getting to come home to that man every day… he had no words. He was blessed. 

Their home was on the outskirts of town as well, only a hop and a skip away from the brewery. They’d been in their home for close to five years now, after a few years living with Cas’s dad. Honestly, it hadn’t been as weird as it might seem to an outsider, a married couple still living with their parents. It was something Dean knew Castiel needed. Since Cas had gone so long without having a real family and because Cas was uncomfortable with change, Dean didn’t think twice before the newlyweds had settled in with Chuck. 

It had helped though, now that he thought about it. Not having to worry about a marriage and a new business on top of a mortgage had meant that Dean could put everything he had into the brewery and into being the best husband he could be without the added stress of home finances. 

Building their business from the ground up had been stressful. Dean, Benny, and Jo had clashed heads a few times on what the place should host and bit by bit the “brewery” had turned into a local’s cultural hot-spot. Beer had been paired with food, which had then been paired with outdoor games, which was paired with live music, which paired with a small shop of local venders and artists. It was the Hipster spot they’d dreamed of in high school and now the family spot they sought out as an adult. The success had been overwhelming but it had given Dean the financial comfort to propose buying a house with Cas. 

He loved their home. It was quaint, big enough for the two of them with room for a little bit more if their life decided to travel that course. It was so close to work, which made seeing one another on busy days much easier when Dean could stop home for lunch on weekends he had to work, or Cas could stop in whenever he had the chance. 

Coming home was always Dean’s favorite part of the day (second favorite actually—nothing compared to waking up next to your best friend), he loved walking into the home they’d created together. A place where others could walk through and see the story of his and Cas’s life through the artwork on the wall, proof of the love they built. 

Not only were their walls dawned with photographs of significant events of their life but with Castiel’s actual artwork, silhouettes of moments in their lives the men held dear. Their graduation day, Dean’s proposal, their first home, their wedding day, their first holidays as a married couple, the opening of the brewery… all of it, commemorated in the frames on their wall. There were the originals too; those were Dean’s favorites—the first one of him leaning against the Impala, and one beside it of their first Christmas together. Pieces, snapshots, of their lives that made them grow so beautifully, together. 

Dean moved through the house knowing his husband was probably outback on their patio as he usually was at the end of each day. He stopped in the kitchen noticing the pot of chili simmering on the stove and the two empty bowls and clean spoons waiting on the counter for use. Quickly Dean dished out some food into the bowls and topped it with some cheese before bringing it out the back door to his awaiting lover. 

“Hey handsome.” Dean greeted with a kiss to Cas’s temple, handing him the steaming bowl of chili and plopping down next to him on the outdoor loveseat. 

Cas’s smile warmed him to the core. “Hello, honey.” 

Dean took the time to add a log to their fire pit and snuggle under the blanket before grabbing the bowl of food and digging in. There wasn’t a need to idle chatter, both men were just content to sit and eat next to the warmth of the fire and watch the sky slowly start to dim. It wasn’t until their bowls were empty and Dean was pulling his husband into his arms that he finally broke the silence. 

“What are you thinking about?” 

“The sky is so beautiful today.” Castiel answered in a dreamy tone, his eyes turned up towards the sky and he smiled. Dean had never seen anything quite so beautiful; it always made his heart skip a beat. “I feel so… warm, looking at it. It’s the same way I feel when I look at you. You make me feel everything.” 

Speechless, Dean pulled his husband tighter to him and pressed a lingering kiss to his temple, breathing in the scent of home. Castiel had always been better between the two of them at expressing how he felt with words, he knew just the right things to say to make Dean’s heart fill with love. 

“We’ve been together for a while now.” Castiel now said, bringing his palm up to rest against Dean’s cheek. Dean leaned into the touch and pressed a kiss to his husband’s hand. 

“Fourteen years.” He murmured with a smile. 

“And married for nine.” The words were said with such wonder that Dean couldn’t help but snatch a chaste kiss. 

“We have.” 

“It’s wonderful isn’t it?” Cas’s eyes shone brightly with his words, his smile slowly morphed into a beam. “Sharing our lives with one another—it’s wonderful. I’m amazed at how fortunate I am getting to tell you about my days, waking up next to you each morning… making love. It’s miraculous.” 

Dean’s heart thrummed in his chest. He didn’t know it could be like this. He’d hoped—prayed even, that their love would always remain so pure. But living it? It was even better than what he’d wished for. “It is.” 

“I’m very happy with you. Happier than I ever dreamed for myself.” 

Only Cas got to see Dean like this, so soft and reverent, so completely in love. “I feel the same way, baby.” 

There was a fond look in Cas’s eyes, like Castiel too was feeling the magic of what was between them. Something was stirring in the beautiful mind of his and Dean knew it was only a matter of moments before he keyed Dean into it. Not in his wildest dreams did he think he’d hear Cas ask, “Do you want to start a family with me?” 

“What?” 

“I’ve been thinking, ” Castiel smiled. “you’d said before that you didn’t mind if we never had children but… what if we had some?” 

Dean’s breath caught in his throat. He’d had always pictured himself with a family, two or three kids running around—maybe a dog thrown in too. Over the years the idea hadn’t quite left him but he knew there was a possibility it could go either way. He followed what Castiel needed, he always would. His husband still lacked confidence in himself, still felt uncomfortable when anything new unsettled his routines. It took time for him to become comfortable with new experiences and Dean accepted that, loved him because of it. It’s why kids became more of a “maybe” than a “definitely.” 

“Cas? Where’s this coming from?” 

Despite Dean’s initial worries that someone (outside of their close knit friends and family members) had nagged Cas about when they were having kids, the look in Cas’s eyes let Dean know that this was something Castiel genuinely had been thinking about. It comforted him to hear Cas’s explanation still. 

“We both love kids but the way you are with them—I don’t know how to explain it. Every time Benny and Jo bring the kids around you gravitate towards them. I love seeing you with them, the smiles you get and how hard you laugh. I think you’d make such an amazing father. It’s made me wonder if it’s something we should bring in to our lives.” 

“You’re great with them too you know? Not just with Ellie and Ben but with all your students too.” 

The compliment gave Cas a gummy smile. “Do you wish we had kids?” 

“I don’t know? I’ve thought about it.” Dean answered honestly. “I know we said early on that we didn’t need kids and that we had more to focus on. But… it was never really out of the picture for us, you know? We did say someday, if it felt right.” 

“Does it feel right to you now?” 

Dean looked at Cas and let himself wonder, did the time feel right to have children? They were the happiest he thought they could ever be. Their jobs were steady. Their house was almost paid off. They had a wealth of family and friends around to help with childcare if they ever needed it and most importantly, they had all the love they could give to any child that came into their home. Dean knew his answer but he had to check…

“Does it feel right to you?” 

“I love sharing this life with you. I think I’d love sharing it with some children of our own too.” 

“You mean that?” Dean was glad when his own look of awe seemed to stop Castiel’s own gaze from turning unsure. 

“Is… is that what you want too?” Cas asked with bated breath. Dean couldn’t hold it back any longer, he surged forward to capture Cas in a kiss, pulling back only when they’d run out of air. He kept their foreheads pressed against one another’s breathing in the moment. 

“Yeah, baby. I’d love that. I’d love to start a family with you.” 

He was instantly crushed into a hug. “I love you,” Cas whispered into the collar of Dean’s coat. 

“I love you more than anything. I always have, I always will.” Dean promised, just as he did every single day. Just like he always would. 

He knew someday there’d be an artwork on their wall capturing this moment for all of eternity. He knew he’d look at it too, just like each of the others that lined their walls, and think the same thing: he had everything he’d ever need, right here. Forever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Nearly 6 months later and I've finally delivered on this epilogue! I honestly thought it'd only been like two or three months. Whoops. I hope you all enjoyed it anyhow. Thank you for all the love I've been given on this work. I honestly did not expect it to be given so much kindness or attention but I'm so glad this one has made at least some of you smile. I wanted to write a pure love story and I'm so glad it turned out how it did. 
> 
> I love you all for reading! I hope you'll stick around for some of my upcoming works <3 
> 
> -Paige

**Author's Note:**

> [He Didn’t Have to Be](https://archiveofourown.org/works/9686360/chapters/21867404) Dean is 23 years old and raising his 3 year old brother Sam as his own. Castiel comes into their life and Dean falls hard and fast but quickly begins to question if he’s even worthy of being loved. Sammy is the most adorable toddler to ever live. 
> 
> [Don’t You Wanna Stay](https://archiveofourown.org/works/10634991) Cas has been in love with Dean since high school and when Dean and him go from best friends to falling into a ‘friends with benefits’ relationship Cas thinks he’s happy with the situation. But five years later Cas starts questioning if this is really the kind of life he wants. He loves Dean but he’s sick of getting hurt.
> 
> [Sleep Without You](https://archiveofourown.org/works/10775289/chapters/23899212) Dean and Cas have known each other basically all their life and are very close. Close as in, they sleep (and cuddle) in the same bed together every night but… they deny that they are together. During a weeklong trip with their friends the two start to figure out that there might be something more between them.
> 
> [He Wouldn’t Be Gone](https://archiveofourown.org/works/11261616) A year after Cas walked out on their relationship, Dean has to face his ex again at a wedding of all places. Did Dean mention Cas left him the night before he was going to propose? It was going to take a whole lot of whiskey but he was bound and determined to get through the night. Sequel: [Every Time I Hear That Song](https://archiveofourown.org/works/13178964)
> 
> [There Goes My Life](https://archiveofourown.org/works/12011787/chapters/27182904) (WIP) Dean never expected the night he was going to ask Cas to be his that Cas would come home with a baby.


End file.
